Revisions of Us
by xShirochanx
Summary: Sequel to Revisions of the Regrets. It has been nearly two years since Rukia went back to the Soul Society after their dangerous escapades. 11 1/2 year old Ichigo begins to realize that he can not fulfill the promise he made her. IchiRuki. Rated T.
1. The Way Things Became

**Revisions of Us: Sequel to Revisions of the Regrets. It's been nearly two years since Rukia went back to the Soul Society after their dangerous escapades. With her gone he has taken some shocking action. 11 1/2 year old Ichigo, only holding a notebook as reminesce of the war, has come to the realization he can not fufill the promise he made her. IchiRuki**

**Rated T for language and violence. Spoiler warning for those of you who are not up to date.**

**Disclaimer; Bleach is not mine, it is copyright the almighty Kubo Tite.**

**This is Part 2, I strongly suggest you read Part 1 (Revisions of the Regrets, accesible through my profile) first. Or else you might find yourself hopelessly lost and confused.**

**Chapter 1; The Way Things Became**

Ichigo leaned against the hard wall of the clinic watching the flashing lights and commotion as they loaded the dying victim into the back of an ambulance. A young, redheaded girl cried and screamed as the others tried to pull her away from his side. He watched the struggle nearly emotionless before a small smile began pulling at his lips. "That's her, isn't it?"

_"The girl from 'The Book'? Yes, it seems so. Did you catch her name?" _Responded a voice that only he could hear.

Ichigo shook his head slowly. "No... it happened a lot later than I thought it would, she's almost twelve now, I wonder if it was effected... but it looks like it should be her. 'The Book' didn't give much description... but if it is then her name is Inoue Orihime. She's one of them, right? She's one of our nakama."

_"Was." _Reminded the voice. _"Do you plan on making her a nakama again?"_

"I can try. 'The Book' said she really liked me, maybe she still will." Ichigo said, hugging the black notebook to his chest.

_"...I'm a bit surprised. You're being extremely calm about the scene in front of you, if she is going to be your nakama shouldn't you at least feel a little sympathy? It's not like you."_

Ichigo let out a short laugh, sweet and innocent, in a very childish manner. "Shiro-kun, you've never been concerned about sympathy, it's not like _you._ Besides, this is just an event that was set in the fabric of time. We've known it would happen for over a year now. Why should I be upset?"

_"I only meant that you're changing. Usually you'd be bubbling like a baby by now."_

"Of course, I need to be strong if I'm going to be a shinigami! I know she said not to rush it but... I think the day I die will be a very joyfull one, for the both of us. I wonder how well we used to get along! I wonder what type of conversations we had!"

_"You've read 'The Book' millions of times. You were afraid of me and I kicked your butt up and down these blue buildings whenever I got the chance!" _The words were followed by a heartfilled chuckle.

"You do sorta look like one of those demons in the horror movies." Ichigo retorted with a pout. "I never lost though..."

_"I let you win!"_

"You can't say that! You remember just as much as I do! Which is really nothing at all... I wonder if I would've been powerful enough to defeat Aizen if we had been working together instead of fighting..."

_"If your parents know about the book and shinigamis and everything, why haven't you told them about me?"_

"Well... I guess... I don't want them to know. They read the book. It would just scare them if I told them. I don't thinked they'd ever accept you... they would really freak out." Ichigo replied, feeling apologetic.

_"They'd freak out, about sweet little me?" _The voice asked sarcasticly.

"Yes, I'm sure sweet little you would shock their socks off. Don't act like you don't know why. You are more voilent, Shiro, and... basically just very rough around the edges."

Masaki came over to stand next to him. Her glowing beauty seemed to pierce through the darkness. "I really hope he's going to be alright...Who are you talking to, hunny?"

Ichigo grinned up at her. "I'm talking to Shiro-kun, Mama."

"Tell your friend I said 'Hi' for me." Masaki requested with a smile.

_"Well, tell her hello back for me. Go on, I can hear her. Throw in a compliment or something." _The voice urged.

"Shiro-kun can hear you. He says hello and wants me to tell you that your eyes are gorgeous." Ichigo told his mother, feeling the slightest bit awkward. _Gorgeous eyes...I should've thought of something better than that._

Masaki looked around the empty space wondering where the spirit might be. "Thank you very much. I'm sorry, but Ichigo has to come in now."

It had taken awhile for her to get used to seeing him talking to ghosts, and reacting to them and the things they did. "It's getting late, let's head in, Ichigo."

"Yes, Mama." Ichigo tagged along behind her obidiently. He quickly grabbed her hand. "Hey, Mama. Can we offer that girl to stay the night at the clinic?"

"Her brother is being taken to the hospital, and then your father is taking her over. That's very kind of you to be thinking of her like that but she'll probably want to stay with her brother."

Ichigo shook his head. "He is not going to... If he's not going to make it. She doesn't have any other family. Wouldn't it hurt to be stuck home all alone after that?"

Masaki assumed his slip-up meant he'd seen the brother's ghost. "Oh! Oh...well, _if _he doesn't make it we'll offer."

"Thank you, Mama." He smiled.

xxxxXxXxXxXxXxXxxxx

After getting his teeth brushed and after he'd kissed his parents goodnight Ichigo had retired to his room. He flicked the light off before plopping down onto his bed. "I guess this is goodnight then, Shiro-kun?"

_"Whatever, Ou-chan! Your sarcasm is almost unrecognizable." _The hollow laughed.

"You know I wouldn't go to bed just yet, it gets to be too early for bed at this time when the demons in your head want to discuss things with you." Ichigo teased, keeping his voice low so that no one would over hear him.

_"A demon, am I?"_

"A hollow." He corrected himself.

_"Perhaps I should go ahead and devour you for that mistake." _A very strange sensation washed over him, as if his whole body were becoming numb.

"Stop, Shiro-kun! Stop that!" Ichigo said. The feeling receeded, leaving his body a little shaky. "Don't play like that!"

_"I actually scared you." _Shiro laughed. _"You should remember that I'm not someone you want to betray." _

"I'd be more afraid of you betraying me." Ichigo stated frankly.

_"Listen to me, Ou-chan. I will betray you only once you betray me or our cause. Until then you musn't fear me, for I will not harm you or your people." _Although the way he worded it made it sound enavitable. Ichigo nodded his head in an empty agreement; he couldn't find his words.

_Knock, Knock, Knock_

Ichigo pressed himself into the bed uncertain whether it was better to pretend to be asleep or admit he was still awake. After a second his mother opened the door.

"Hey, hun. Are you still awake?" She asked.

"Sorta." He answered unsuredly.

"I just wanted to let you know that girl is staying in the clinic for the night." Masaki said.

"Really? That's...very kind of you, Mama!" Ichigo flashed her a grinny thumbs up.

"It was your idea," She waved. "Goodnight then, pumpkin."

"Goodnight, Mama." He waited for her to close the door and for the sound of her footsteps to fade down the hall before he kicked his feet excitedly. "Did you hear that Shiro? She's staying here tonight!"

_"Of couse I heard. That's fantastic!" _That voice responded.

"I hope my parents don't notice who she is." Ichigo frowned.

_"Well, then tell them." _The hollow stated.

"I can't just tell them. At this point it doesn't make any sense to tell them." He argued.

_"They'll notice, sooner or later they will realize what you are doing. They read the book, something will click in their heads. You can't keep secrets forever, Ou-chan. They will figure it out. They'll know about this girl, they'll know about me, and they'll know what really happened in the Soul Society. Wouldn't it be easier to get everything out in the open? Go tell them." _Shiro urged_. "Go on, go tell her! If your dear mother finds out from someone besides you she's not going to trust you anymore."_

"No! I can't! I can't worry her anymore. I've caused her enough pain for one lifetime." Ichigo growled, distressed. "My Mom doesn't need to know about this stuff. She can't do anything about it, it would just scare her. I owe it to her, I have to protect her from the truth, Shiro. It's the least I can do. I love her very much..._he _loved her sooo very much. After what I did, I wonder if _he _loved her more than I do, if that's possible..." A few tears dripped down his cheeks, he held his head in his hands. "I love her, I do. But he never would have... never could have made her so sad as I did."

_"Come on, Ou-chan. You _are _him. Rukia was the one who told you that, I'm shocked you would forget! Don't be so weak, big shinigami don't cry. It shows vulnerability, which is the last thing you want to show your enemy. Nothing says kill me like showing vulnerability. He understood how it works, you've gotta look prepared to kick some buttocks no matter how bad things get. I know you can do it, because you are him. But you just have to try."_

"I'm sorry, Shiro, I'm trying." He sniffed. He rubbed the tears off his cheeks and slipped back down beneath the covers. "You understand though, don't you?"

_"To an extent. Since you seem so sure, I will leave it alone."_

"Thank you." Ichigo muttered before closing his eyes, and closing the conversation for the night.

xxxxXxXxXxXxXxXxxxx

_O-nii-san...I woke up to an Orange-headed angel. He must be an angel... I've never seen him before... his hair is so refreshing...it's like a glass of orange juice... and he looks so happy...he has such a big grin...he can't possibly be tainted with human sorrow...I opened my eyes and there he is, waiting for me. Did I die too, O-nii-san? _Orihime tried to wrench open her sleep ridden, sorrowful eyes so she could further explore this mystery before her.

"I'm sorry if I woke you." The said angelic persona apologized, sitting on the edge of the bed beside her. His legs kicking as he tentatively watched her.

_The light catches so beautifully on his bronze eyes, O-nii-san, there's no way this boy is anything but another being._ Orihime cuddled into the comfiness of the bed, feeling blessed by his presence. "I'm not dead am I?"

"No, you're not dead. You're very much alive." He assured her.

"...What is your name?" She inquired. "If you have one."

"Of course I have one." He laughed. "My name is Ichigo."

_The angel has such a cute name too. _Orihime watched him so aweinspired. It felt like he eased her aching heart. "Do you know my name?"

"I do." Ichigo nodded, he hopped off the edge of the bed to stand before her. "You're Inoue Orihime."

She smiled. "Yes, that's right. What are you doing here?"

"I was making sure you were alright, I wanted to make sure you were okay after what happened." Ichigo explained.

"That's very kind of you." She was trying really hard now to wake up all the way, this was a miraculous happening and there was no way she wanted to dooze off now. Not when she was in his presence.

"Don't force yourself. You need to rest." Ichigo stated so gently, his words alone felt as if they could lull her back to sleep.

"You will tell O-nii-san that I love him, won't you?" Orhime requested quietly.

"Of course I will." Ichigo agreed.

"Why did he have to go?" She sniffed. "Why didn't O-nii-san have to die?"

The angelic child paused for a moment. "It was his time. His time here was over. I know saying that doesn't help much, but you see on the grand scale of things, he'd finished all of his tasks. His death is going to change your life. I'm sure it will be hard at first, but so many things are going to happen that wouldn't have otherwise been able to. You'll see, things will get better after a while. Will you trust me?"

She nodded. "Yes."

"Then know that you'll be okay, your brother will be okay, and that things will get better." Ichigo claimed.

Orihime's eyes teared up. "Thank you so much."

"You have to rest now, Orihime. Go back to sleep." He encouraged, turning to leave.

"Wait, Ichigo." Orhime stated before she could stop herself, she really didn't want the angel to leave her. _He must have things to do. I can't make him stay here. _"I-I...I want to give you something, if I could, please."

"Sure. What is it?" Ichigo asked curiously.

"Close your eyes." Orihime requested. Ichigo obeyed, standing beside her bed he closed his eyes. Orihme pushed herself up to be leveled with him, she leaned forward, pressing her lips to his smooth, pale cheek. Beaming she carefully laid back down. _O-nii-san...I kissed the angel. His skin is very warm._

Ichigo opened his eyes, a little bit surprised. "Thank you."

Orihime nodded, finally curling into the covers. Ichigo gave it a second before leaving. He could see the sadness in her eyes, he nearly wanted to cry himself.

_So now you feel sympathetic? I can't tell which part you're being deceptive with. C'mon, which is it? What about last night? _Shiro pestered.

Ichigo carefully closed the door behind him before he quietly replied. "Forgive me for being excited last night."

He went up to his bedroom to get ready for the day of school. The rest of the day was pretty usual. He was in middle school now, unfortunately Tatsuki had been placed in the other sixth grade class so he didn't get to see her as often, although they still played after school. At the very least she always walked him home, in her book he'd been getting a little too far away, so her walking him home had sort of become more of a commandment. So he didn't find it in the least bit surprising that Tatsuki was waiting outside for his little orange head to appear in the crowd.

"Hello, Tatsuki." He greeted.

"Yo." She replied simply as she slipped in beside him. They walked down the streets, navigating the now familiar route homewards. The chit-chat was light, but when that died down Tatsuki started in with a very serious expression.

"Hey..." Tatsuki began. "Is there anything you want to talk about?"

Ichigo laughed. "Like what?"

"I mean anything serious. You haven't talked to me in months, it makes me worry you might've started stowing stuff away. I'd never forgive myself if you turned into a bitter person."

"People change, Tatsuki, and it's not your fault when they do. Sometimes life just happens and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Besides, I've been doing fine. You ought to stop worrying about me." Ichigo replied without even glancing in her direction. A long time ago he'd lost his ability to lie to her. She could sense when he wasn't being straight with her and he had trouble sticking to a false answer. So they both knew he'd never ever get away with a lie and Tatsuki knew very well when he tried to. So to her his 'I've been doing fine' translated to her as 'life is difficult and complicated and I don't really want to talk about it right now'.

"I can't stop worrying about you! I can't. It's like some anxiety I have that something horrible is happening to you, or is going to happen to you. Don't you think a little too much life has happened to you?" Tatsuki grabbed his shoulder to stop him as she, herself halted. "Look at me, c'mon Ichigo, don't be like this. If you don't talk about things they don't go away."

"You're not my therapist, Tatsuki." Ichigo reminded in a quiet mutter.

"Well, I'd feel better if you actually went to a therapist or something." Tatsuki stated blatantly.

He looked at her hard, to get his point across. "Sometimes life happens Tatsuki, it just does. Bad things happen to everyone, right now I'm trying to go on with my life. Your trying to get me to discuss things that are gone and done with doesn't help me. I know what happened, I haven't forgotten, but I don't want to be stuck there like sometimes it seems you want me to be. I want to be here, where I am, with my family, and my life."

Tatsuki's jaw dropped. "I don't want you to be stuck on the past. Just maybe... maybe I am with you, and it concerns me that nothing that happens seems to have gotten resolved. No one seems to have sought any closer and it makes me wonder how you can all live like that. You went missing for half a month, your parents still haven't got a clue as to what happened. Can they really not care about it this much that they'd just pretend it didn't happen? God! They're just like you. You never tell them anything! What is it between all of you that makes problems so...undiscussable? So... not worth your time to address? I don't know how to describe it. I know if you were my son I wouldn't rest until I knew what happened."

"You're not my mother." His voice was actually soothing. "And I told you what happened."

Tatsuki looked down, feeling like she was loosing her mind, but her voice was calmer. "I just don't understand you. It's all in the name of perserving happiness, but are any of you really happy? When you boil it down, are any of you really, truly happy?"

"I am." He answered. Tatsuki turned back up to look at him, her mouth slightly agape. "I know you probably don't believe me, but I am happy. I don't think everything in life has to be going right in order for you to be happy. If that was the case then we'd all be miserable. My life's not perfect, but I'm happy. Even if I'm sad about something, I'm still happy. I have a house, a family that loves my, a great friend, three meals a day, everything I need, so why shouldn't I be happy with my life?"

"It's not that simple!" Tatsuki rejected. "It can't be! There's more too it."

"This is what I meant when I said that sometimes it feels like you want me to be stuck on the past." He calmly told her. "How do you see me, Tatsuki? What do you see here that makes you think this stuff?"

"You...you...you always look so fricken depressed to me." She admitted. "It always looks like there's that look in your eyes...that blank, dead-inside look. Even when you smile, it's always there! It looks like part of your soul is missing or something."

He gently shook is head. "I'm all here, Tatsuki. This is all just in your head, you worry way too much about me, you're creating your own reality."

"What does that mean?" She laughed lightly.

"It means you're projecting your thoughts onto the world around you, and making it seem true." He quickly explained as best that he could. "Come on now, let's get going. I'm willing to bet we look sorta silly standing here."

"Do people really care if we stand on the sidewalk?" Tatsuki asked.

"Of course they don't." He laughed, spinning around. "We ought to walk anyway though."

"Wait, wait." Tatsuki called. "I've got another question."

_Tatsuki and her questions. _Ichigo pursued his lips. "Yes?"

"Did anything ever happed to you that I don't know about?"

He smiled a bit oddly, knowing he was throwing her in a loop. "Of course."

"Well what kind of something?" Tatsuki questioned, running to catch up to him.

"Lot's of things have happened to me that you don't know about, lots and lots, Ta-Tsu-Ki."

"Hahaha, very funny." She grumbled. "You know what I mean, a serious answer."

"My life's not a book, Tatsuki, I don't need to give you every detail." Ichigo politely reminded. "You don't tell me everything, please respect that sometimes there are things I'm not going to tell Tatsuki-chan. I'm not trying to be mean, or to keep you away, but I'll be very frank with you right now; there are things I will absolutely not tell you, ever. For my own reasons, selfish or otherwise." They were nearing his house now, Ichigo paused to confront her. "Listen to me, I'll share things with you about this whole bizarre life of mine, but you've gotta stop prying. If I say no, that means no."

It was one of those strange moments, with the intensity in his eyes, and in his words, that he felt like something else. When he spoke that way, almost detached from the world she knew, it scared her. It scared her not in the same way she felt when he was hurt, that kinda fear one feels when watching a scary movie, or when one is almost hit by a car. It was a different kind of fear that was felt like a black hole in her stomach, making her wonder how very detached from her world he was. He was the oddist part of her life, almost like a piece of the wrong puzzle had gotten mixed up in her box. He would so blatantly state such strange things... he acted strangely! He was something else for sure. "Alright...sorry."

_If he were a book..._ Tatsuki walked him up to the door. "So, I'll pick you up in the morning for school, alright?"

"Nope." Ichigo rejected. "You certainly will not. You've been worrying _waaay _too much about me, you don't need to baby gaurd me everywhere I go. Go out, make some new friends, Tatsuki. You need more people in your life."

"What if I don't want new friends, I like you as my friend... and I do have other friends." Tatsuki responded.

"Then hang out with them. Let yourself worry about your own problems-"

"Stop this, there's nothing wrong with me wanting to spend time with you."

"Well then, I hereby ban you from seeing me tomorrow." Ichigo declared. "Just one day, give it a try."

Tatsuki shook her head emptily, lost for a retort. She did not want to follow through with his plan. But what he said next certainly struck a cord. In a disapproving manner he shook his head. "You know, you're the last person I ever expected would be babying me like this."

"Fine, fine, fine! One day." Tatsuki gave in, turning away. _If he were a book... he'd have to be a mystery novel. _She waved herself away from his house. _The longest mystery novel in the world, the hardest to solve, but most of all... _Tatsuki cracked a smile, looking up at the blue sky, she silently laughed at the fact that she was actually 'officially' banned from seeing him. _But most of all he definitely would be the very best novel in the world._

"I'm home!" Ichigo called, slipping off his shoes.

"Big Brother!" Yuzu shouted, grinning. Her pink randoseru hanging off the back of the chair where she sat at the table.

"Homework?" Ichigo inquired kindly.

"Yup. We're learning about nouns. It's pretty tough." She slid off her chair to run give him a hug.

"It sounds tough!" Ichigo agreed, exagerratedly but not mockingly. He rubbed her head affectionately. "Where's your sister? Shouldn't she be doing her homework too?"

Yuzu pouted, shaking her head disapprovingly. "She said she would do it later."

"Well, I'm sure she'll get done, don't worry, Mama will make sure of it." Ichigo coaxed. Yuzu nodded more in acceptance then in agreeance. He looked up, his mother was patiently watching him from the kitchen, hands paused, from chopping vegetables. She smiled so big when his eyes met hers. Masaki set down the knife as he came into the kitchen. "Hey Mom."

"Welcome home, honey." Masaki gave him a great big warm hug. "My, you're getting taller aren't you?"

"Just a few inches, I think I might actually be getting taller than Tatsuki." He claimed rather proudly.

"Tatsuki-chan? No, you can't get taller than Tatsuki-chan." Masaki denied jokingly.

"I'm telling you, last time we measured I was almost there! Maybe even a quarter of an inch above her!"

"My goodness, I don't believe it! You really are growing!" Masaki laughed. "So, how was school? Did everything go alright?"

"Yeah, it was good, nothing new really." He replied, for some reason feeling a little bit of anxiety when he answered. It wasn't like something bad had happened that he was trying to dodge. It was almost as if he lived in two different worlds, the one out there; with Tatsuki and Shiro-kun and the rest of his stupid problems. And then there was this one, this small little perfect world with this prescious woman whose happiness he must preserve. His other world just wasn't something she should be concerned about, it was unnecessary and to a point problematic. How could he ever give his mother the eternal bliss he strived to give her if he told her of his troubles, if he told her of Shiro-kun, or if he told her of the things he and Tatsuki discussed? "Hey, Mama..."

"Yes?" Masaki answered.

"Do you think we could go to the park or something?"

Masaki smiled. "Of course we can, let me put this in a bowl first. Do you mind if your sisters come?"

"Of course not. I'll go find Karin..." Ichigo flashed her a big smile.

xxxxXxXxXxXxXxXxxxx

Masaki stood and watched, her children no longer needing assistance on the playground; they were growing up. Her oldest was even getting too old to come here, although she brought them here out of his insistance. Occasionally she'd join in a game of tag or something, but there was no more catching them at the bottom of the slide or holding them up so they could try to cross the monkey bars. It saddened her just a little bit to see her babies getting older, as it did all mothers to watch their little chickadees gaining independence and growing farther and farther away, until she could no longer protect them from all the harshness of the world.

The setting sun warned of the coming darkness. _We should start heading home. _Masaki reminded herself. She looked up, finding her children amongst the colorful metal shapes alit manevolently by the sunlight. Her girls faces were adorn with smiles, they were engaged in a game with each other, treking across the playground. Ichigo was poised at the top of the slide his face softly set, yet out of tune, as if a warm memory had risen from the back of his mind before he slid down. She knew very well what was going on in his mind. She'd recently made a point now to watch him carefully, not just overflow him with love and affection but to observe him intently so she could figure out all of her sons bolts and gears; how they turned. She wasn't very good at figuring out what he was thinking but she knew that look. He was thinking about _her_; about Rukia. It only lasted a second, he never looked sad, but yearning. As if he wished to revisit that memory once more. Why wouldn't he be thinking of her? This was her park after all.

Masaki walked to the bottom of the slide, smiling up at him. "Hey." She gently prematurely broke him from the short trance.

Ichigo blinked. "Hello, Mama."

"Are you ready to go home?" She asked him.

"Sorta, I really wanted to play with Mama." He replied sounding a bit disappointed. "Am I getting too old for that? Maybe we should find something else to do."

"I'm sorry, let's find something to play at home." She apologized, cursing herself for being a bit distracted that day. For there truly was nothing more she wanted then to play with him. She broke into a grin. "We'll play all night! Alright? We'll have tons of fun. You'll never ever ever be too old to play with me, if you really want even when you're 50 years old I'll take you to play on the play ground!"

"Thank you!" He cheeped, sliding down to her.

At the bottom of the slide he was too big to catch, too heavy for her to lift up and snuggle. Instead Masaki wrapped her arms around him, resting her head beside his. For some reason hugging him made her feel sad. She understood that alot of the time he put on a front. But it was exactly what she did, she never wanted her children to see her upset, so she made sure she only showed them happiness. That turned out to be one of her biggest mistakes as a parent. That was all he ever showed her anymore; happiness. Not just happiness, but an overwhelming condensed happiness seemed to have arisen that was a few years too juvenile. She hadn't seen him express any other emotion in a long time. They were still in there; just not for her. It had been a year since she'd seen her little crybaby cry.

"I've been kind of out of it." She whispered to him. "I didn't mean to ignore you or anything. I'm sorry."

"Please don't apologize to me anymore, Mama." Ichigo requested. "I shouldn't have said something that made you feel guilty."

Masaki released him, wondering why it was so bad of her to apologize to him. When he made no move to get up she sat on the bottom of the slide beside him. For a minute Masaki wondered if she should say something to him, of his hiding away from her, but she hadn't a clue how to begin. She glanced over curiously, his eyes seemed a bit unfocused as if he were lost in thought, his hand lightly rubbing the other's wrist. The bold black bracelets still blaring from each as they had been for a long time now.

She took a deep breath. "Do you miss her?"

"Wha?" Ichigo turned to his mother, who hadn't mentioned Rukia to him in a long time. It sorta caught him off gaurd.

"Do you miss Rukia?" She asked again, gently. Finally she was drawing something new from him. It wasn't a question he could really just grin, and simply answer in a light hearted matter. At the very least what she understood about him was that this did matter to him, enough so that when he looked at her his eyes lacked that usually childish gleam.

_Is it that obvious? _Ichigo nodded slowly. "Yes..." _If Mama could tell... _"I do miss her." _Would it bother Mama, to know that? I don't think she liked me being with Rukia. So would it bug her, would it upset her if she knows I do?_

_"You're bad at hiding it." _The hollow whispered in his ears.

He smiled, in attempt of quick recovery. "It doesn't matter though, does it? I've got Mama!"

She'd gotten in, and she didn't want out just yet; this impenetrable fortess he'd locked her into she knew, for her own protection and preservation of happiness. "It matters to me. Those are your feelings, Ichigo, and I care about them."

Ichigo stood up. "I care about your feelings too, Mama. It's getting late, you were saying we should head home, right? We'd better get going, Dad will start to worry."

Masaki reluctantly stood up. "Yeah, you're right."

"Well, let's go then." Ichigo ushered.

xxxxXxXxXxXxXxXxxxx

Without out anymore troublesome prying they had made it back to the house. They all did their homework while Masaki finished up dinner. They had a great family dinner, during which Ichigo found out that Orihime had left while he was at school.

"I've still got a to finish up my homework." Ichigo claimed after they were finished with the meal.

"Alrighty, good luck!" His parents wished him. He clammered up the stairs, and with a half-minded sigh sat down at his desk.

"She didn't come this month either." Ichigo muttered aloud, crossing off the current day on his calender. "Just some older lady, Sakamoto, I think"

_"Maybe you should stop waiting for her. It's been almost two years. If she was planning on coming back don't you think she would've come already? She told you not to do anything stupid so you get sent to the Soul Society, remember? What does that sound like to you?"_

"I don't know." Ichigo answered, although he did see what the hollow was hinting at.

_"Yes, you do know. What do you think she means by not doing something stupid and winding up in the Soul Society?" _

"Not to die, or do anything that would get me killed." Ichigo responded to his hollow in a voice a student might respond to their teacher.

_"Why do you think she's implying you might do something to get yourself killed?" _It further pursued.

"Because she knows how stubborn I can be... and maybe she realized after she didn't comeback I'd become distraught, I don't know if I'd kill myself to see her again though. That might be a bit of a drastic assumption."

_"Well, if she was in danger and that was the only way you could get to the Soul Society to save her, would you?" _Shiro queried.

Ichigo dropped his head, knowing the answer well. "In a heart beat." His hand shook as he set his penicl down on the desk.

_"Come on, you're not going to start crying, are you?" _Shiro asked, exasperatedly.

Ichigo shook his head, taking a deep breath. "No, of course not. I just feel so stupid, I should've seen this coming. Of course she wasn't planning on coming back. I should've been able to guess that, you know? Instead of putting myself through the agony of waiting for her. Looking around the corners...wondering when she's going to show up."

_"It's better to swallow the truth then obsess on things that just aren't meant to be. If you can learn to face the truth head on, you'll become stronger." _The hollow lectured.

"Aren't hollows supposed to be more based around lies and bad things like that?" Ichigo inquired.

_"Hollows are born from pain and loneliness, and with a head-on attack you can inflict more pain. So it sort of is a hollow-ish thing to say." _The voice joked, finding its answer funny.

Ichigo threw himself onto the bed with a weighty sigh, allowing all his life's problems and complexities to hang in the air around him. Taking a moment to set them infront of him, but out of his mind, to acknowledge them but not dwell, for just a moment so he could peacefully break away from his life and take a breather. Even his hollow kept silent in order to give him a break. Shortly, Ichigo rolled over, because life didn't like him to be absent for very long; it always found someway to suck him back in.

"You know she means a lot to me." Ichigo muttered. "I thought we'd gotten to be pretty cIose..."

_"Maybe she was just using you, to get rid of Aizen for her."_

"Of course not! That's ridiculous, Shiro! Why would you say that?!" Ichigo gaped.

_"I told you, sometimes you gotta swallow the truth. It might be something like that, so you've gotta be careful, Ou-chan. She read the book and believed it, but did she feel anything? We can't say for sure. She might've seen a problem, and seen a solution."_

"I don't care whither she _felt _something or not, Rukia's not that kind of person! I didn't even solve anything, I couldn't defeat him. There was no problem solved. If it somehow turns out to be the truth I'll face it then, but I refuse to believe she'd beguile me like that!" Ichigo exclaimed.

_"Then what do you believe, Ou-chan?" _Shiro question.

"She ditched me..." Ichigo sat upright. "She ditched me and I have no clue why she would."

**The End**

_A/N; The Sequel, I know it's a bit strange, I think it will add more spice and something nice to our plotline. Please let me know if you want to keep this going. If you think the turn it's taken is a bad direction we can just end it with part 1 or somethin'..._

_-Shiro_


	2. The Darkness Awakened

**Thank you for all the encouraging reviews! Here is the Second Chapter of the Sequel. My god, decent timing; it's a miracle!**

**Chapter 2; **

About a Year Ago the following events took place;

_Ichigo was entranced in his own thoughts, his own worries. He wondered whether he'd ever see Rukia again. The possibility that the answer might just be no was heart stopping. The probability of that possibility might just be his death. It was kind of corny but he didn't know if he could live without ever seeing her again. _No, no... _he pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind. _She's coming back, I know it. Probably when I'm least expecting it! It's not unlike her to get held up. _That put a smile on his face._

_The black, spiral-bound notebook was hugged to his chest. It was important to him. It was who he was, it was just that; his life! Some of the things in his book had become his aspiration. Who he had been, _Him_, he was Ichigo's hero, his inspiration. _

_Near the beginning of every month he liked to wander around town, one of these months she'd be deployed and he would find her. When he didn't find her he always decided on a reasonable excuse for why she hadn't come. The first few months it was that Ukitake must be keeping her busy because they certainly had wrecked havoc. Many things would need repaired and their cover story solidified. After that it was that since she sort of went missing in the World of the Living for a few days with no contact that maybe as punishment she would not be allowed to comeback for a period of time. Of course that time could be infinite, but he had faith in Ukitake. Surely Ukitake would see that it wasn't so. Now... now it was time for a new excuse, a new story that he could use to comfort his feelings of loss. After too long he always began to have doubts._

_Ah, but today felt like a good day! For some reason he just felt lucky today- surely today he would find her, or she would find him._

_And then he wondered; _Why is it I care so much? _The thought lingered in his head. _It doesn't really matter, she meant a lot to _Him_, and she means a lot to me. _He nodded in agreement with himself. It wasn't as though it had taken over his life, sure he thought about it a lot but he still lived his life. He was doing great in school, he still hung out with Tatsuki, and led a productive and fulfilling home life._

Wham!_ Ichigo tumbled forward; he quickly caught his balance and swirled around. The back of his head ached from whoever hit it. It stunned him that several older kids, 8th graders or maybe even highschoolers, were behind him. Were they that quiet? Or was he too far out of it that he didn't notice four people coming up behind him?_

_"Hey, what was that for?" Ichigo frowned, rubbing the back of his head with one hand, holding the notebook with the other. He outwardly remained calm but his muscles tensed. He'd been in this type of situation far too many times; he knew what this was leading to. Their big, stupid yet devious grins made it all the more obvious._

_"You're a weirdo, Kurosaki." Laughed one of them, his head was shaved and he was wearing a deep blue hoodie._

_"He's just a doofus who doesn't have any friends. He's always spaced-out and muttering things to himself." The closest guy declared to his buddies; Ichigo assumed it was the guy who just hit him in the back of the head. Despite the chilly weather he was wearing a white tank top._

I'm not in the mood for this. _Ichigo lowered his arm. "I'm sorry, I'll try to stay out of your way. I didn't mean to offend you, sir."_

Method #1; Respectful Apology for the accused crime. _If he didn't conflict or question them sometimes he could get away sooner._

_"Sorry, Kurosaki. You're not getting away that easily. You see that doesn't work for us, I don't think you've learned you lesson. Let's get off the road; I don't like all this openness." The same guy guffawed._

_The three amigos of this gang leader tried to usher him off the side of the road into the trees. The path to a shrine was only a short walk down the road and the entire area around that shrine was a preserved wood. He knew by instinct that was the last place he wanted to be with these guys, somewhere out of site, and just maybe..._maybe _out of earshot._

What should I do? I don't like where this is headed. I can't let them get me in there, or things could get bad. _He quickly tried to calculate the easiest method to escape this situation._ Method #2; Run Away! _Regardless of how much stronger they might be he remained confident. He was agile and he'd certainly had practice. On the next step he pressed his foot firmly into the ground and propelled himself forward. He heard a cross between a grunt and a gasp from the one he was dubbing Purple (due to his vibrant purple hoodie). Unfortunately that moment of escape was short lived. Purple barreled into him in a painful tackle to the ground that was, in Ichigo's mind, unnecessary. _Next time just grab the back of my shirt or something. _He inwardly complained. He was caught. Surely he was going to wind up with a black eye or something._ I really don't wanna go home with a black eye. It'll upset Mama, and I don't need that... she doesn't need that right now.

_Purple sat up, having flattened Ichigo to the ground. It was time for _Method #3; Resort to Violence_. Swiftly, Ichigo pushed up onto his elbows, he rammed his foot as hard as he could into Purple's face. Purple fell backwards and Ichigo propelled into an upwards flip._

_Landing gracefully on his feet, he cautiously glanced at the rest of the group. They didn't look too happy about what he'd just done… the group charged at him. The first one that reached him- noticeable blue sweat shirt and shaved head- he managed to completely flip him so that his back slammed hard onto the asphalt. He surprised himself with the ease he was taking them on. Never in a million years did he think he could personally handle a group of thugs, but man, he was soaring!_

_It was at the height of his King of the World sensation, when he was sure none of their grubby hands could reach him because he was agile, quick, and skilled, that he found himself caught. Blue and Brown (dubbed so by the main color of their shirts) apprehended him, shoving his arms painfully behind his back. Try as he might he couldn't seem to get free. All four of them burst into horrid laughter as he kicked relentlessly at his captives. _

How could I have gotten caught? I was doing so great... I fought with Aizen! So how could they have gotten me?! _They gingerly carried him into the woods, which was a place he didn't want to be. He could feel in his bones something bad was going to happen. He was used to getting beaten on at the playground and sometimes even at the park, but never somewhere so secluded. Out in the open they could only do so much to you before somebody intervened. But here... if he was being quite frank with himself, they could kill him and it could be years before anyone found the body. The farther they dragged him along the more that empty feeling in the pit of his stomach grew._

_"This is it." Announced their assumed leader as he led them into a patch where the trees were noticeably less dense. He smirked. "I brought something special for this freak. Hang on; it's just up here, my surprise. Hold him tight and I'll go grab it."_

_"Sure thing, Yaka," the two holding him said obediently. Ichigo tried to wiggle free but they were surprisingly good at holding people. Yaka walked ahead and disappeared behind a tree. When he became visible again he had both hands behind his back; not a good sign._

_Ichigo's throat constricted. _Please, don't be a gun. _He prayed, knowing things were getting too far along for an escape. It'd be extremely hard to get away now. His capturers seemed excited to see what toy their leader had brought to play with. _Dang it. I need to stall. _"Your name's Yaka? What kind of name is that?"_

_"Ya as in Eight, Ka as in fire. You got a problem with it, Kurosaki?"_

_"It's not your real name though, is it?"_

_"Perhaps not." He agreed. A vile grin plagued him, his hands slipped forward with a large, wooden baseball bat. A sports device never felt so menacing._

_He could feel them all beaming with glee at their bait. As badly as he wanted to see Rukia he frankly didn't fancy being bludgeoned to death. After all, if they went a little overboard they could end up killing him._

_"That's very dangerous." Ichigo stuttered as Yaka stepped up to him. He desperately fought with all his strength to break out but the boys wrenched his arms upwards and forced his torso forward in a 90 degree bow. "Stop it! You guys, this isn't funny. You could all get in serious trouble for this! Stop!"_

_Although he couldn't see it, he could feel the bat being raised high above him. "Please, please, please don't do this." He begged once, that was all. Begging was not one of his methods. Unfortunately Method #4 was next; Take a deep breath and wait for it to be over. It wasn't at all helpful, but the only thing he could really do at this point was to make sure he didn't give them the satisfaction of knowing they'd made him crack. There was no sword, no power. Of course not, he was in his body. Nonetheless he stayed attentive, looking for openings... a moment or movement he could take advantage of._

_Ichigo quickly squeezed his eyes shut as he heard the faint whistle of a large object flying through the air. Somehow he felt that it wouldn't be as bad if he did so. _Whack! _Across the back of his head and upper back blazed with pain._

_Body trembling, he spoke. "I don't understand... how could someone plot something like this? What kind of person can just decide to take their friends out to beat up the local odd ball? How...?!" The words spilled from his lips through a stream of malice. He'd experienced worse but pain wasn't something one got used to. Particularly the area they aimed for was frightening to him, he knew how very precious, how very fragile all that was. The results could be brain damage, paralysis, or even death. _Whack!_ From his left shoulder to his right. It felt harder that time. He gasped, his world flashed black for a second. But he couldn't let them see him cry. _

_"Have at it." Yaka invited there others. A foot or two slammed into his ribcage simultaneously. They roared with laughter. He fell onto his knees. With watery, red eyes he looked at Yaka's shoes with a shuttering breath he wheezed. "...stop... stop..."_

_"He wants us to stop!" chuckled one of the others. _

_"If we don't, whaddya gonna do? Go tell your Mwommy?" As the jaunting continued he felt their hands slip off of him. His heart jolted! Without restraint there was a chance. Although he was a bit dazed he quickly got to his feet. _Wham!

_Ichigo stumbled forward, still intent on escape. He could tell there was blood trailing down from his ear. The bat had slammed into the side of his head. His ears rang loudly, piercingly. _This is pitiful. _Ichigo thought. _I am so pitiful... so utterly... worthless...

_The gang was a bit stunned that the blow hadn't brought him back down. They didn't realize they were dealing with someone with such strong will power. But they weren't going to just allow him to waltz on home, now were they? They came here today to take out their frustrations on a little fifth grader, and by golly, they were going to do it. Because what in the world could be more fun then to give the little sucker more hell then he's worth? Yes, they were such a generous group. Besides; who would care? Nobody cared about the boy, he was an outcast, he had no friends. Nobody was going to do anything about it. He was good for a few decent beatings, and nobody would do anything to stop it, nothing would change. _

_"Come back here, we're not done playing." Hollered one._

_Ichigo tried to navigate his way but things seemed a bit yellow-tinted and the ringing in his ears was almost too loud to even think over. _One foot in front of the other. _He repeatedly intoned, he knew his senses would... or should come back to him in a minute. Man! There were trees everywhere! He couldn't tell any difference in direction. _As long as it's away from them it doesn't matter...

_His foot caught on something. He crashed onto the ground. It figured; today sucked. _

_"Don't think we'd let you get away." Yaka stated from somewhere behind him._

_Yes, today sucked indeed._

_"Man, where'd he go? He couldn't be that far ahead already..." Tatsuki grumbled, jogging down the same path she knew Ichigo had taken. She'd been stalking him and had been expecting to at least spot him by now. He'd been such a space cadet all day, which was just a way he got sometimes, but he insisted on taking a longer walk home by himself. Hahaha…yeah right, like she'd let him do that. Definitely not the most luck stricken guy in the world, she actually hadn't allowed him to walk much anywhere by himself since he'd come back home. And the way he'd been zoning out? He was sure to be hit by a car, probably one that was parked... "Hm?"_

_Tatsuki saw something on the ground ahead. When she halted in front of it it was very clear what the object was; a black, spiral-bound notebook. It couldn't be just any notebook. It must've been his black, spiral bound notebook. But he didn't go anywhere without it. At school, out in town; even when he wasn't carrying it she knew he had it hidden away somewhere on his person. A lot of the time when he was just walking he held it hugged to his chest, as if it were his heart. Surely if someone tore it away he would die. So as she picked it up she stated aloud; "What in the world is this doing on the ground like this?"_

_Tatsuki flipped open the cover but she had barely started the first sentence when her Ichigo in Danger sensors went off. He couldn't be too far ahead, plus the only reason he'd dropped it would be... if something happened. Man, what an empty street. She looked around for viable clues. Buildings...the street... all these trees? Would he leave the road? _...wait, I think I heard something_. Straining her ears she clambered off the road and into the green foliage._

_Noise. She heard noise but she couldn't distinguish voices, words, or even an object or animal that might be the source of the noise. Observantly, cautiously she hurried forward. _

_The noise quickly gained definition. It was a distinctive thwack that caused her feet to run._

_He was feeling so numb in body and in mind, and he knew he was lapsing into unconsciousness as the world became fuzzy and black. Damage was so much worse in this meat sack. There was no mercy in this; there was no daring your opponent to continually climb towards their fullest potential. This was not just restraining their opponent, but going full out as well. This was his sad reality. It was nothing in comparison to the many epic battles he admired _Him _for. This was just sad._

_He couldn't even feel the hits he knew kept landing on his body, even their leader was still swinging that damn bat around. _If they don't stop I'm going to die. _That was a funny thought. Dying... from this? He'd rather have been killed by Aizen, at least that would've been honorable. _What about Mama? And Dad? Yuzu, and Karin, and Tatsuki? What about Rukia?

I've gotta do something.

'What is there to do?' _His subconscious echoed back._

Anything. Anything but this. Anything but nothing. _He forced himself into consciousness, the pummeling had stopped but they were crowing all around him. It felt as if all his dignity and his pride were being taken away; stamped upon and laughed at. He felt completely degraded._

_**Anything?**_

_A strange feeling engulfed him, as if tons of icy cold water had been poured all over his body. The glowing ember of his eyes brightened to a light shade of yellow. He realized his body was moving, but he wasn't the one moving it. He was... consumed in darkness. _

_At first Tatsuki just saw a few people standing amongst the trees, none of them really noticed her. Something was definitely funny because they were all laughing. She slowed down a bit; she didn't see the glowing orange of her friend's hair. That helped to ease her but she still continued forward, searching for any sign of her friend._

_Then she saw it, her sunlight, those beautiful rays of orange. Her dearest friend was on the ground, writhing at their feet. Tatsuki's eyes burned with an intense furry. They had hell to pay._

_Tatsuki lunged onto the back of the nearest one, wrapping her arms around his throat in a choking hold. The big purple lug tried to grab at her, his face turning blue. She quickly disposed of him, ready to take care of the others. But before she could move another muscle she saw her friend move. There were three others around him, but everything went so fast they really didn't have time to process that she was there, or what he did._

_Ichigo pushed his hands into the ground, he pushed his entire body up. Blue was standing behind him, and he didn't see anything coming. Ichigo pushed back, ramming both his feet into Blue's shin. There was a loud cracking sound as the leg bowed back in the middle._

_"Gaaaaaah!" Blue screamed as he sprawled onto the ground._

_In a strikingly graceful move Ichigo swung his body around 180 degrees, keeping one hand in the air he knocked Brown right off his feet. He then somehow cart wheeled into a stand. There was only one left; their leader Yaka and his god-forsaken baseball bat. _

_Yaka growled furiously, he didn't seem happy... no, not happy at all. Ichigo smiled with a hint of lunacy._

_The leader of the fallen gang charged at the possessed child, swinging the bat back for an attack. Ichigo lunged towards him; grabbing the bat with one hand he twisted it out of his enemy's grasp. He moved too fluidly for any of them to counter, even their leader. Yaka was kicked back onto his buttocks. _

_Ichigo raised the wooden baseball bat high into the air, the smile was gone, replaced by something of a glare. _Thwack! _Who was helpless now?_ Thwack! _Whose turn was it to feel so hopelessly degraded? _Thwack! _There was the snapping of bone as Yaka desperately tired to protect his head with his hands. _Thwack! _Merciless. Relentless._

_"Stop it, Ichigo!" Tatsuki shouted as she ran up behind him. She grabbed his arms before he could swing again. He fought her; she could feel the vibration of his skin. His anguish, his fright, and his anger. It wasn't just for this, but a lifetime of people treating him like this. "You'll kill him!"_

_Ichigo stopped straining against her. He released the bat, allowing it to clunk onto the ground. His eyes remained wide, empty, shimmering yellow. _

_The guy before him cradled a broken arm with a slightly gawking, horrified expression. "You _are_ a freak, Kurosaki." He sputtered._

_Tatsuki kicked dirt up at him. "Shut up and get out of here! You've all got three seconds to scram before I pummel the lot of you to your death beds!_ _You hear me?!" They decided best to listen, and scrambled away the best they could. Not that they feared Tatsuki, they'd certainly do it again, given a chance... assuming they hadn't become afraid of Ichigo. She glared after them until they were no longer visible, and then turned around with a softer expression for her friend. "My god, are you alright?"_

_He blinked his ember eyes; there were tears along their rims. _Just now. That was... _He toppled a bit before safely sinking down to his knees. He felt strangely cold, and his body trembled with fear. Although his sides and his head ached he didn't pay them much mind, because his mind was racing rapidly. He was absolutely stunned because he understood what had just happened, and it frightened him deeply. _

_Tatsuki knelt down, grabbing his shoulders. "Are you okay?!"_

_"I'm... um... I'm alright, yeah." Ichigo nodded, trying to push that horrified feeling away. _

_"C'mon, I'm taking you to the hospital." Tatsuki claimed. "You don't look too good."_

_"I'm not going to the hospital!" Of course. Expected reaction. _

_"Then you are going home, your dad will fix you up." Tatsuki pulled on his arm. "You're gonna have black and blue spots in a moment here and I wouldn't be surprised if something is broken."_

_"No!" He shouted, sitting on his butt so it'd be harder for Tatsuki to move him. Again, expected reaction. He was an impossible child. He was a sweet kid, but trouble had it out for him. And he had an aversion to seeking medical attention. That's why she had to begin with an extreme, like the hospital, because he was the kind of person who would kneel over and die if his parents got called into the hospital on his account. It made the next suggestion seem all the less horrible. Yet still he wouldn't budge._

_Tatsuki plopped down on the ground as well, temporarily defeated. "This wasn't always so hard; I swear you're getting worse about it. What's made you so difficult about it? You do realize you're going to have to go home sooner or later." _

_"I don't like her knowing about this stuff..." He murmured. That again. It was always that with him._

_"The bullying is one thing, but you're getting a little overboard." Tatsuki shook her head disapprovingly. "You realize that it's not your fault you got hurt, don't you?" Victims of kidnap never came home quite right. They were more or less damaged, and this was his damage. He had told her that he chose to stay kidnapped, basically (although, quite frankly, that whole disease thing made it just seem like a ploy to her, if you knew what kind of person Ichigo was it was the perfect trick to keep him in your clutches; brain wash). That whole business had upset his family, his mother more specifically. No... upset was too weak a term. It tore her to pieces, and he felt that was his fault. So he now seemed to be living a permanent guilt trip, and anything that could upset his mother seemed to absolutely horrify him. Especially if it meant going home after being mobbed, which was more than likely to send her into a fit._

_"...I understand that." _But it is in a way...I should have been able to do better than that. I should've...I should have been able to win...they're just humans...

_"C'mon, stop being difficult." Tatsuki pressured._

_"Would you just give me a second?!" He unexpectedly shouted at her. He grabbed his head in stress. "Just give me a second to process..." _

_"Yes... of course..." Tatsuki said apologetically. Of course he'd have to process. She figured if he didn't have a moment to let things run through his brain and clarify it might continue to feel like a nightmare. After a minute or so she noticed his muscles become less tense. Tatsuki scooted over to sit next to him and hugged him tightly._

_He looked up. "What are you doing, Tatsuki?"_

_"Giving you a hug."_

_"Why?"_

_"Because, you look like you could really use one." Tatsuki replied. _

_He closed his eyes, giving her arm an affectionate squeeze. "You know what; you're the best friend in the world, Tatsuki."_

_That made Tatsuki smile. "You really think so?"_

_"Of course I do, I wouldn't lie about that." Ichigo took a deep breath. "Well, let's go, Tatsuki."_

_"Go... go where?" she asked in confusion._

_"Home!" He laughed, standing up out of her hug. "I won't be difficult for you today, kay? Besides, I'm feeling rather nauseous."_

_Tatsuki jumped to her feet. "Well then let's go." He never asked why she had come there in the first place, he never questioned why or how she was there when he needed him; she just was. Because she was dependable in that way, and her friendship absolutely irreplaceable._

_Tatsuki sat in a waiting chair, tapping her foot impatiently. She'd gotten pushed out of the room, unfortunately, and now she was feeling left out and antsy. She was the one that explained what happened... leaving out the not-need-to-know details as need be, yet she had to sit out in the hall while they talked to him or whatever else they were doing. Who knew? He was odd, and she was sure he had said some odd things about his family before. Maybe just some off-beat sentences? He always said weird things that didn't make much sense to her but she knew what he meant or hinted at was something much bigger than she could grasp. Maybe the Kurosaki's were aliens? That was a thought. A species of aliens come to study the human race. Too bad, poor Ichigo probably had a horrible record of the human race to take back to his people. Tatsuki quickly stopped herself. _Ichigo is not an alien.

_She steadied her breath to see if she could make out what any of the muffled voices were saying. Both of his parents were in there. Whether it was a selfish thought or not; she wished she had been able to see his mother's expression. Maybe then she'd finally get why it horrified him so much._

_"... It wasn't a hollow." She could hear Ichigo say in a rather reassuring voice. _

_Shortly after that the door opened. His mother came out saying something about ice. She bit her lip in a concerned way but, she didn't seem anymore worried than any reasonable mother would. When the door opened it made the sound so much more audible. _

_"... can't use Kidou. But I'll go see if Urahara will make a house call." His father was saying. Tatsuki suddenly got a feeling like she was hearing something she shouldn't be, but as Masaki passed she told Tatsuki it was alright to go in now._

_Nervously Tatsuki rose from her chair. Why should she be so nervous? There was no need, right? When she entered she did notice a sort of strained look in his eyes, but he still smiled at his father. _

_"Well, I had better make that call then. Tell me if you start feeling tired, alright?" Isshin patted his son's head affectionately._

_Tatsuki waited until he left, she smiled at Ichigo, who was sitting up on some sort of counter. "You seem exasperated."_

_To her surprise he started laughing. "Yes," he nodded with one of those big, silly grins. "You could say I am."_

_It was insane to think that anyone could uphold that same amount of innocence that he did. He certainly wasn't inexperienced in 'life', and he could behave just as maturely when he wanted to. But she didn't know anybody who could still laugh and smile all the time, anybody who could still be so okay, no matter what happened to them. She found herself in a moment of admiration. "You had some nice moves back there, I was a little surprised. You should've broken them out earlier than that; you can't go easy on those brutes, alright?"_

_"Oh...well... that was sort of sheer force of will I guess. I can't really move like that. I did try to fight though, I did my best, which actually wasn't too bad." Ichigo told her. She could tell his parents had taken good care of him, his arms were shiny, probably covered in some of gauze. He had this large white pillow folded on his lap, and his shirt was off. Certainly they'd done some other things that she couldn't quite place but he didn't seem like the little boy who'd just got knocked around by a bunch of thugs. _

_"Sheer force of will, huh?" Tatsuki said. "That sounds about right, it's fitting for you." _Yes, that's how he does it all. And how he manages to maintain such an innocence; sheer force of will.

_"Knock, knock." Masaki called as she entered through the open door. She handed Ichigo several ice packets, definitely too many but it did no harm to have extras. "I'm going down to the police station to report this. I was hoping Tatsuki-chan would come with me, since she knows what happened."_

_"Yeah, sure, if Ichigo doesn't mind me leaving him alone." Tatsuki answered. His mother seemed touched by her answer._

_"You've got such a wonderful friend, Ichigo." Masaki said._

_"Go ahead, Tatsuki. I don't mind being alone." Ichigo said. He was sure it would be quite a while until Tatsuki stopped using this as an example to show how much telling his parents accomplished. _

_Tatsuki tailed behind his mother with a bit of hesitancy. She had never spent much time with his mother before. Out in the entrance of the clinic, where Isshin had his desk and a locked cabinet that probably held any sort of medication that was likely to be stolen. Masaki stopped to ask to her husband. "Did you call him yet?"_

_"Yes, he said it might take him a little while, but if it takes too long he'll send Tessai. In middle of some experiment or something from the sounds of it." Isshin answered._

_Masaki kissed him. "Thank you, honey."_

xxxxXXXXxxxxXXXXxxxx

_"I know that was you." Ichigo muttered, once he'd been left alone. He said it out loud because he wasn't sure how else he was supposed to say it. He was unsure how the answer would come, or if one would come at all._

_A moment later, almost as if someone was whispering in the space between his ears he heard; "_Of course it was me."

_His nerves had been on their ends since it had happened so hearing it speak didn't rattle him too much. Quite frankly, he had been afraid of this. The hollow had given _Him _many problems, so how was he supposed to take care of it now? Of course the fear had always been a mild one, in the back of his mind and far from his thoughts. But now... now it was grabbing at his insides._

"Come here." _He heard the voice call. It had an echoed effect, and it's voice gave his whole body a strange feeling. He didn't know how to go there, where the hollow was wanting him, or if he wanted to go there. Before he could form any words it spoke again, as if it knew what he was thinking. _"Just relax. If you can relax I can bring you here."

_There was no way he could relax. There was no way he'd want to relax. But the hollow seemed to manage anyway; it felt as if his consciousness was being ripped out of his body. His body wavered as his eyes became blank and it fell backwards limply, slumping against the wall. What followed was a strange sensation of falling, and, more curiously, the feeling of stability that came soon after. Ichigo opened his eyes. Blue. A stark blue sky. Shiny blue brick. Large blue panes of glass._

_Despite his nervousness he felt his stomach flutter, he knew where this was. He'd read about it in the notebook. A large blue city, tilted on its side. It was the world of his soul. He took in the site before him, staring straight up at that beautiful sky. But one can only enjoy the view for so long when they are more or less in trouble; which was the only thing he expected from the hollow that resided inside of him. _

_Again to his great delight he found that he was in his shihakushou, and the more-than welcoming weight was hanging on his back. Ichigo turned around; the hollow was behind him. Not right behind him but a few feet. It was a complete copy of himself in the vivid black and white colors. Its irises shone a malevolent yellow, it was just as young as he was and it seemed to be watching him curiously. When their eyes met his lips spread into a wild grin_. "So, you're the king, huh?"

_"...Yes, that's right." Ichigo answered guardedly. "And you are a hollow?"_

_The hollow snickered amusedly. "_Yes, that is correct_."_

_"What do you want, hollow?" He asked as bravely as he could._

_"_Would you like to play a game with me?" _It asked. _

_He blinked. "A game? What kind of game?"_

_The hollow held both his hands out. Dark black and red energy, which if he didn't recognize it as the color of his own reiatsu would've look like a cero on the verge of firing, swirled in the air between them. It grew and solidified into a ball. _"Let's play catch."

Catch?_ Ichigo didn't believe for one minute that was all the hollow wanted. "Why now? Why did you come out now?"_

_"_Well, you were being hurt, weren't you? You thought 'If they don't stop I'm going to die'. When the king is cut down in battle so is his steed. I was just preventing that." _The hollow strode in a circle around him as he nervously remained in position._

_"Why now? There were times before that. I almost died fighting Aizen, where were you then?" Ichigo asked, his head snapping to the hollow's new position._

_It actually looked surprised. _"I've been asleep."

_The red and black ball arced through the air between them; Ichigo caught it. "Do you remember anything before that?" _

_Again the ball flew through the air and the hollow caught it with ease. "_No, Your Majesty. I don't have any memories either_."_

_Ichigo reached out and caught the ball. No memories either. Somehow he felt struck lucky. A hollow that didn't have any memories. "Do you understand what you are?"_

_"_Do you understand what _you_ are?"_ It asked him back. "_I understand that in the eyes of many we are an abomination. A hollow and a shinigami. I understand my role, and I understand yours, God of Death."

_"Yes..." Ichigo didn't know what else to say so he just tossed the ball back. "...well, thanks for the help earlier."_

_The grin actually fell off of its face. "_You're thanking me?"

_"Should I not thank you?" Ichigo asked. _

"Are you sure you understand your role? Shinigami's don't thank hollows. I don't need your gratitude. I did what I did for my own selfish reasons." _It spoke as if being thanked was an insult._

_"Well, regardless of your reasons, you did help me. So I am grateful." Ichigo quickly caught onto the ball. Despite it being somehow formed from his own reiatsu it still felt like a beach ball of sorts. _

_It seemed to become even more intrigued with him. Ichigo realized that this was the only chance he had. The hollow was the worst enemy he could possibly imagine, so he had this one conversation to try and fix that. If he left here with this guy as an enemy he was certainly done for. When the hollow tossed the ball to him somehow he missed it. It bounced a few times past him and rolled to a stop right before the very edge of the building._

_"Sorry..." Ichigo muttered, chasing after the ball. He leaned down and picked it up. When he stood back up he got a very strange feeling, staring out at that jungle of blue sky scrapers. It felt as if it were calling him... entranced, he took a step forward. There was something over there, he knew it, he could feel it. He wanted to let it draw him towards it, however terrible and magnificent it was. His other foot moved forward so that he was standing on the very edge of the building. _

_A hand grabbed his shoulder. The hollow spoke into his ear. "_You mustn't go that way."

_It snapped him out of his intense focus. "W-why not?"_

"It's not time for you to see it. Not yet." _The hollow's cold, white arms slipped around him, it snickered. _"Ou...Ou...you are quite little for a king."

_"Yes, I am a little king." Ichigo half-mindedly agreed, still wondering what it was that seemed to be calling to him in the distance._

"Get back from the edge, Little King, you'd better back away before you fall." _It warned with another crazy grin. Ichigo noticed just how close to the edge he was, it made him dizzy... which was not very good. The hollow, with its demonic yellow eyes and amused grin, pulled him back. _"I told you to be careful, Little King, what is wrong with you? You shouldn't stare off into space, bad things might happen."

_"I just..." He muttered, breaking eye contact with the distance. Although the exchange was for frightening hollow eyes, something he didn't much like._ It's being friendly, to an extent, so I ought to too.

"Ou..." _it trailed off thoughtfully, almost seemed to be looking him over hungrily. "_Ou, you've got too much... too much power, you don't know what to do with it do you? Poor Ou-chan, Poor poor Ou-chan." _it snickered. _

_"If I'm Ou-chan, then what about your name?" Ichigo asked, ignoring its rather creepy comment._

_"_My name?" _It inquired. _"I don't have a name_."_

_"Well then, I'll give you a name." Ichigo smiled, looking the hollow over. _Although...what do you name a hollow...?_ "I know! You're very white, so how 'bout I call you Shiro?"_

"Shiro?" _The hollow pouted in disgust._ "I don't think I like that."

_"Shiro-kun." Ichigo laughed, sticking with his idea. "C'mon. It suites you, just give it time, you'll like it!"_

_"_Time?" _It didn't seem to like that idea much either; that there would be enough time to give it a chance. It would be much more delightful to swallow the king now and claim those vast stores of power for himself, rather than wait for a stupid nickname to stick. _

_"_You want power?" _the hollow asked with a blank look. Although, the poor Ou-chan certainly had enough. He just didn't know what to do with it. "_That's what you thought, wasn't it? Back there you wanted more than anything the power to win."

_Ichigo had the strange feeling that the hollow was somehow complimenting him... or trying to. How weird was that... but it seemed hollowish enough... in a way. He couldn't quite get past it. Hollows didn't compliment. Unless it was on taste or something creepy like that. His hollow didn't seem nearly as freaky as it sounded in the book, although those eyes did give him the chills. Perhaps since the hollow had no memories? Not that the hollow's memories could account to very much, maybe if the hollow didn't have any personal feuds with him... or memories of them, then maybe all it was left with was its hollow instinct? What would they give him? Certainly more menacing character than this, given he was creepy and vile. Maybe it was that he was still just a child, as Ichigo was. Maybe that's what it took to even explore anywhere off of their rigid roles of shinigami and hollow; a child's innocence._

_Or maybe that Ichigo had committed far worse deeds then the hollow had. Or _He_ had. He had killed. In five seconds he'd managed to butcher six helpless victims. Ichigo tried to wrench his mind away from the memory, but the easiest way to remember something has got to be trying to forget it. That had to be it. As much as it revolted him, the hollow's curiosity was most likely admiration for that deed. _I think I'm going to be sick... _The rising memories wouldn't go away. The smell, that horrible smell... and the blood, it was everywhere. It was all over him, it was sprayed upon the walls, and it was all over the ground. He couldn't escape it. But the guilt, that was the worse part, the very worse part. It never went away. And as Aizen had said; it never would._

_"Do you want power?" Ichigo asked weakly, as his stomach was churning. _

_The hollow seemed more than pleased that he was asked that. "_Of course!_" It definitely had a lust for power. That wasn't horrible, at least something he might be able to work with... As long as it didn't require a weekly human sacrifice to keep on his hollow's good side there were always possibilities._

_Then it struck him like a bolt of lightning. What if they could both get what they wanted? "Shiro-kun... you can hear my thoughts, can't you?"_

_"_Sure, thoughts, memories." _It grinned devilishly. That was power. And control. _"Except for when you're here, but that in inconsequential."

_"Then you know about the notebook, right?" Ichigo asked._

_The hollow nodded shortly._

_"And my ambitions?" _

_Its grin somehow grew wider, if that was even possible. "_Of course I do, Ou-chan."

_"Well then, let's shoot a little higher." Ichigo suggested. "What about a Captain of the Gotei 13, eh? That'd be great, wouldn't it? It's always best to shoot for the stars."_

"What are you purposing?" _The hollow asked suspiciously._

_"That maybe one of us doesn't need to be the horse, while the other is the king. I think that if we work together we could become the most powerful being in both the Soul Society and Hueco Mundo." It looked interested. That was good. "I would have to be in control most of the time, because instinctively you'd drive us off course, if you don't mind me saying. But I'll let you fight. I know it sounds ridiculous but we could work out the details."_

_Shiro, as it was beginning to accept was its name, paced; hopefully thinking it over. At last it said; _"And you have another goal?"

_"Yes, I do." Ichigo answered truthfully._

_The hollow seemed to conclude something in its head, its smiled seemed to have faded through their conversation as it now had a rather serious look. "_You want to recreate the book. And that girl...you want the girl."

_"Only as much of the book that the world will allow me to experience, I plan on helping it along but I can't say I'd like to see anything too drastic. That encounter with Aizen was enough for me." He replied without commenting on the part about 'the girl'. "But that is the reason I want to be a shinigami. I'm sorry if that's selfish, I know that's alot to go for."_

_Shiro chuckled, again beaming with an on-the-verge-of-insanity-yet-super-happy type look_. "Shoot for the stars."

_It took Ichigo a minute to realize that the hollow was agreeing to his proposal. "Wow, really?"_

_It shrugged. _"We can work out the details."

_Ichigo was so surprised that he actually had made a deal with his hollow. It was playing with him, it had to be in someway or another. It was a hollow after all- tricky, devious creatures. _I almost forgot. _"Another thing..."_

_Ichigo bowed to the hollow. "Please, teach me how to fight. You know how, don't you? I can sorta but I'm really no good, so please."_

_The hollow contemplated for a moment. "_Very well."

And so Kurosaki Ichigo made a deal with the devil.

**Chapter End**


	3. The Prospect of Fate

**Chapter 3; The Prospect of Fate**

Ichigo sat with his knees tucked up to his chest. The light was growing dimmer and dimmer, and the sky was a brilliant shade of purple. Over on the horizon the clouds were bright pink and orange. He was high off the ground on the edge of a tiled roof top. The buidling beside the one he sat on was two stores high, a story shorter then his. One of the second story windows that faced him had its curtains still open and a light on inside.

A young girl with an orange-ish shade of hair, although it was nothing in comparison to his, was visible sitting at a low desk. She was working on her homework by the looks of it. She was wearing a uniform that matched his, same school different class, he presumed. Her hair was maybe an inch past shoulder length, pulled back by two beautiful snowflake clips.

He knew he was not invisible, but he hoped that by now it was dark enough that if she chanced to glance up maybe she would not notice him watching her. Most certainly that would not turn out too well.

"It's what's best, for the both of you." He assured the man standing beside him.

"Not yet," the man replied. He had on a suit. "I can't leave her yet."

"No, of course not. But you can't stay forever either." Ichigo reasoned.

"When things start looking better, then. When she starts smiling and laughing and going on with her life, I will move on." Even from their distance they could see that around her eyes were red, as though she'd been crying.

"Alright." Ichigo stood up, finding his work complete. "Before I go; she did ask me to tell you that she loves you very much."

"I know she does." Sora replied quietly, emotion wavering his voice slightly. "_Tenshi, _when I move on, will you watch over her for me?" His sister had not failed to mention the sweet little angel to him, and he believed his sister. Especially now that the little angel was talking to him. No human could see him, so surely his sister was right in calling the boy an angelic being.

"I promise, I will."

"Thank you." Sora said as he heard the boy's pattering feet fade. "Thank you, little _Tenshi_."

xxxxXXXXxxxxXXXXxxxx

Ichigo arrived home, feeling extremely accomplished, although it was long after when he was supposed to be home. The light of day had faded and it was pitch black out side. "I'm home!" He called as he opened the door.

"There you are." His mother said rather briskly as she wipped her hands on her apron. "I was starting to wonder where you were."

He kicked off his shoes. "Sorry, I got held up."

"Tatsuki-chan?" She inquired curiously.

"No, no. Sort of a new friend." He answered, strolling into the kitchen.

"That's good. " Masaki smiled. "If you're going to be home so late next time try to call or something, okay?"

"I will." Wow, that certainly was simple. It made him feel more grown up.

"We went ahead and ate because it was getting close to the girls bed time. You've got a plate in the fridge." Masaki set the oven timer for 20 minutes. "You can have some cookies when you're done with your dinner."

"Thanks, Mama."

She must have sensed the confused surprise in his voice at her behavior because she quickly added; "You're father said you were alright."

Perhaps his father being a shinigami might actually benefit him...

_"Keep that worrisome mother off your back, eh?" _The hollow cackled.

Ichigo threw open the fridge door. As he searched for his food he muttered under his breath. "Don't talk about Mama like that."

_"Oh, I was toying with ya. You're such a mama's boy..."_

Ichigo took his plate out of the fridge and popped it into the microwave. He stuck around downstairs while he ate and spent some time talking to his parents mostly about school and such trivial things. Despite it all he maintained decent grades; on the outside a completly functional life. But on the inside, in his reality, he felt disfunctional and insane. To maintain that outward appreance of normalcy required certain things to be in check... such as grades. When the timer beeped he pulled out his homework for the day while his mother took care of the cookies.

"Here you go, sweetie." Masaki set a small saucer with three cookies on the table beside where he was working.

"Thank you," He made a point to flash her a smile, his precious mother.

That night left him with a certain sense of freedom, that swirled around inside him as almost a joyousness. Because really if he was terribly late, if he didn't even make it home some night, as long as his father could

feel he was alright then his mother might be upset, yes, but not worried or frightened for his safety.

xxxxXXXXxxxxXXXXxxxx

It had been a five days since Tatsuki's official 'ban' from walking with him to school in the morning, and she seemed to want to prove that she could go a week without needing to obsess over him. Thank goodness too because he needed the break. His life had been growing steadily more insane, and time where he was alone (even if Shiro was always there) was treasured. So the morning was Shiro's. Ichigo drew back and allowed the hollow to be incontrol, which was something he tried to do whenever he could because he feared the hollow would grow ansy.

With shimmery yellow eyes, and the mischevious grin of a trouble maker the hollow walked on his hands across the top of a fence. It cackled to itself, enjoying this world, which so unlike his home inside of Ichigo's soul, was so full of possibilities.

But then it slowly became that every idea that occured to him, everything that seemed as though it could be amussing, would go against the pact. Shiro cursed loudly, not really ready to go against the pact. It would be pointless if he broke it on some whim. He really just wanted to kill something. No... not just kill something, but to kill something that was hard to kill. Oh, hell! He wanted to battle, and the only person who could stand up to him was His Majesty, the little Ou-chan. It scanned the crowds although Shiro knew that was pointless. Killing humans was against the pact, and anyway there was no way he could find one with enough reiatsu to make it worth it. Stupid humans and their lack of spirit energy...

Shiro wandered down an alleyway beginning to feel bored out of his mind. It kicked around at the piles of garbage until it found a rat. A pretty good sized one too, about as big as his foot. The hollow snatched the rat up, the disgusting thing's fur was matted with a foul smelling conglomeration of things out of a trash can and accompanied by the most putred smell you could imagine. It might as well be soaked in rotting flesh. Yes, a delicously awful creature. The rat screeched and Shiro squeezed it tighter and tighter. There was a crackling sound as its bones broke. Then it stopped moving and the shrill squeaking ceased. Dead so fast, what a disappointment.

Shiro considered eating the thing. His instincts told him that to absord another creatures energy you were to eat it, as the hollows in Hueco Mundo did. But Ou-chan had explained that it didn't work the same here, which was utterly ridiculous and even infuriating to an extent. The hollow gave the rat he was holding, that was now of course dead, a death glare. _"Ou-chan, I'm bored! Fight with me again, wont you? This world is so bland. The creatures here are so fragile, it bores me to tears!"_

"We can fight tonight, Shiro-kun. But I've got to get to school." Ichigo's voice replied.

"_It's a promise, then._" With that Ichigo was shoved forward into control. He glanced down at the broken rat in his hand with disgust, and tossed it on top of the garbage bags. If he'd had a weaker stomach, as he did not so long ago, he would've puked. But he had _tasted hollow_, and after he'd gotten used to that, there wasn't much else that struck him with such distaste.

He went into a nearby corner store and scrubbed his hands in their restroom, before heading off to school. The day went well, he talked briefly with Tatsuki, between classes. It seemed, she had found a new friend. He had smiled knowingly, and told her that he was happy for that. Shiro remained silent, but Ichigo could feel his building excitement.

The final bell wrang, and the room became noisy with the hustle to escape.

"_It's about time!_" The hollow cried. "_I don't know how you put up with this place, Ou-chan!_"

Ichigo laughed lightly, in his amusement forgetting he was in a room full of people. "Because you can't sit still for a second."

"Are you talking to yourself?" Tatsuki asked, coming to stand across his desk.

"I'm not," He replied, then his smile faded as he realized that really, he was.

"You liar, I saw you, what were you saying?" She pried.

"I was... singing, it's not the same as talking to yourself." Ichigo quickly decided.

"Oh yeah, then what were you singing?"

"Oh, just, _school's out school's out... I'm so happy school's out._"

Tatsuki laughed and gave his orange hair a ruffle. "That's almost adorable. So, ya heading home?"

"I haven't quite decided yet. Did I tell you? I got a later curfew."

"Your parents..." Tatsuki was a little surprised. "_Your parents_ gave _you_ a later curfew?"

"That's right, Tatsuki. Things have been settling down, I'm getting older. So maybe I'll go home right away, or maybe I wont. Maybe I'll just go off and take a walk, or buy myself an ice cream at the corner store." He told her, proudly.

"Well then, did you want to hang out? We could go do something."

"Nah, I don't really feel like hanging out today. Why don't you go offer to this new friend of yours?" Ichigo declined.

"Alright then, I'll see you tomorrow, Ichigo. Don't go get yourself in trouble." Tatsuki grinned as she slung her bag over her shoulder.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. You go have some fun." Ichigo waved her off. He took his time to collect his things into his bag, and made his way into the hallway. He wormed through the flowing crowd, and found himself a space at a window that overlooked the front yard of the school. He waited here while the halls emptied out. Then he spotted Tatsuki out by the gate, and beside her, the girl her recognized as Orihime.

"I knew it," He smiled warmly to the pair. It was how it should be. Tatsuki was going to help her heal.

"_Things are moving along quickly!_" The hollow crooned. "_I wasn't supposed to happen for another year!" _

"It's as though, their souls innately know where they're supposed to be."

xxxxXXXXxxxxXXXXxxxx

Ichigo was walking home, taking a bit of a round about way, merely because he felt like it. He still wasn't very good with sensing reiatsu, but he was getting better. It struck him that a hollow had appeared in town, as, for just a moment the very edges of his sight seemed to become static. At least, he wouldn't have to go searching for it. He was a bundled up explosion of spirit energy that cried, here I am - I am delicious. So he braced himself, and within a second he was tackled to the ground.

The grey monster stood on all fours over him. Its gaint claw pressed him into the asphalt, saliva dripped from it's mouth and splashed all over him. It was indeed digusting, but he didn't feel afraid. His fear of hollows was long gone. For the past year he'd dealt with a hollow at every waking moment, what would've become of him if he retained such fear? That would be ridiculous. Plus, now he didn't have any reason to be afraid.

"It's another one." Ichigo said, relaxing his body.

_"You take this one." _Shiro granted, feeling it was in exchange for the battle they had scheduled for later. "_Remember what I showed you." _

"Very well then." He inclined his head respectfully. Ichigo shut his eyes, ignoring the hollow's excited howl. Probing into his soul he searched for it, for that bundle of power. It was there, just buried and more difficult to access.

_Found it. _The delight, the sensation; it was like unwrapping a present. As he tore into it fire seemed to flow into his veins. Oh, the elation! The feeling of that immense power flowing into his every crevice. There was nothing in the world that compared.

He opened his eyes, they danced with a radiant blue.

Ichigo reached up, his finger tips ran along the hollows mask. _Kill it. Kill it and take its power for yourself. _Both his thoughts and his hollow somehow seemed to urge in unison. He wanted to kill it. That was one of the strangest thing he'd ever felt; but he really really wanted to kill it.

The blue that swirled in his eyes melted into a red and black. His fingers stopped along their track, right between its eyes. The hollow didn't seem to be able to move. Easily his fingers bore though the solid white of the mask. He didn't understand how, but it didn't matter. He felt the creautre try to jerk away but he held it steady. Even the claws that held him to the ground were inconsequential, had always been inconsequential.

It roared angrily. At the very tips of his fingers he could feel what was probably its brain, assuming that it had one. He rotated his wrist. The hollow began flailing furiosly.

"Your fate was sealed, the moment you chose to prey on my town." Ichigo calmly told it. _Snap. _It was a sickening yet wonderful sound. The hollow fell limply ontop of him, its head turned 240 degrees. He pulled his hand back, his fingers were streaked red with hollow blood. Its body disintegrated, relieving him of the hefty weight.

_"That was fast." _The hollow commented.

He let the power dwell in his body for a bit, it was addicting but dangerous. He wasn't sure if might end up breaking his bands somehow. But there hadn't been any problems so far, so perhaps it was just paranoia. "It's much cleaner that way. You always make such a mess, Shiro-kun."

_"Do I now? What's wrong with having a little fun, huh? Those weaklings can be such a bore." _Jokingly, it yawned for emphasis.

The power swirled away as he let go, flooding back into that deep part of his soul where it seemed to store itself up. His body felt relieved as if that power had put tons of pressure on his body. He was definitely improving. Heck, he killed a hollow with his bare hands; if that isn't progress then what is? He had learned a lot from watching Shiro, who in comparision attacked with reckless abandon and seemed to have more of a 'minced meat' style than a straightforward kill. Ichigo didn't necessarily appreciate that. For one, it was a rather morbid experience that one didn't get used to very easily. Second, it had actually started costing him money because Shiro had a knack for ruining his clothes. Then he would have to spend his allowance replacing them, so his parents didn't find out. But, alas, it was part of their pact that any attacking enemy that Shiro wants Shiro gets. The good thing about it all was the simple fact that he could feel every little everything; every movement of every muscle, every eb and wane of energy. When the hollow was in control it wasn't just like watching someone fight, it was feeling and experiencing the fight. In that way he caught on fast to how Shiro did the things he could do.

_"You wasted a good hollow." _Shiro scolded. _"It's useless if you don't eat part of it. That's how hollows get stronger, you've gotta at least eat part of another hollow inorder to steal it's power."_

"Yes, yes, you explained it all before. You know I can't stomach that stuff." He shivered. The first time the hollow had done that he was wretching his guts out for two days, unable to hold anything down. When that passed he was sick throughout the next week, he was getting more used to it but he still hated it. He couldn't deny though, that after the sick feeling went away he felt stronger... and more hollow.

Ichigo sat up, implored by the blood on his fingers. His hand twitched before his body began moving by itself. He gently licked the blood off of his fingers. When the job was complete he fell back in control. "Will that be enough?"

_"No, I wouldn't bet on it. It does taste delicious however." _Shiro had knack for stealing a large piece of his enemy.

"Oh, well. It can't be helped." Ichigo shrugged, standing up. He couldn't ignore the growing feeling in his gut of self-loathing that on random occasions seemed to overflow within him. They were useless emotions, as Shiro pointed out numerous times. Any emotion that was self-destructive was useless, anything that could interfere in a battle was useless. The hollow had deemed his petty attachments to other beings pointless, although he never really interfered with any of it. Under the guidelines of their pact the hollow wasn't allowed to mess with his personal life, but that didn't stop him from voicing his opinions.

What he found to be the saving grace of their pact, was the fact that in heirarchy he put the hollow above himself. He'd come to know the hollow quite well, and one thing he learned was that it could get bored rather easily. He was always afraid it would simply become bored with their little game and then would come all the horrible life destroying, dog's death stuff. But having the hollow as a sensei had so far preserved that. The less Shiro felt stifled the better things were, as long as he held power and control. Which he did, even if Ichigo was in control of the body if Shiro said 'go left' he went left, if it said 'skip school today' then they would spend the day wondering around town. Somehow through it they were friends in a way.

xxxxXXXXxxxxXXXXxxxx

Ichigo was laying on his bed, it was dark out and his curtains were closed up.

"I think, maybe, I'll go over to Orihime's house tomorrow after school." Ichigo stated his thoughts out loud, as though the hollow couldn't already hear what he was thinking. "To check in on her and what-not."

"_Are you going to expose her?" _Shiro asked him as they leafed through the notebook. Ichigo wasn't really even reading it, he knew the story too well, he was just enjoying essence of the hand scrawled words. It made his heart beat so loud he could hear it, and made his fingers quiver as they moved across something _He _had touched.

"It's something to ponder," Ichigo replied, momentarily glancing up at empty wall across from his bed.

"_I thought you wanted to recreate the notebook,"_ The hollow's voice spoke in his head.

"Of course I do, but would it be the merciful thing to leave her as she is? Of course, she will still be our nakama, I have already assured that. If we are going to be the strongest does she need powers? We will be so strong we will be able to fight all the battles. If I start exposing her, hollows will start coming after her."

_"If you don't start exposing her, I will go after her." _

"Oh, Shiro-kun, don't fool like that. It isn't funny." Ichigo closed the notebook and rolled over onto his back. "I want her to have her powers. I want to expose her. But when I start feeling excited about it, I start feeling guilty to want such things. I don't want to see her get hurt, and that seems inevitable."

_"She will only be in danger while she developes her power, but we can protect her. Then she will be able to defend herself easily." _The hollow replied. _"It is her healing power which is the most important. We will leave her out of the big battles, of course. We will become so powerful, Ou-chan, that no one will ever dare to hurt her."_

"But then it's a question of when, and I suppose how, as well. It would be premature to expose her now, in the notebook it wasn't until we were in highschool. Then how would we do it? I don't know what will happen if I take off my bands. That might be hazardous..."

_"You have learned to summon your power while still in your body, still with your bands. Ou-chan, I bet we could do it by merily touching her when our power is drawn to the most forefront. It would leave no mess to clean up." _He could almost hear the hollow grinning.

"Hmm, you think it would really be that easy?" Ichigo muttered as his mind carried him off on a tangent of related thoughts.

"_Now get in here, Ou-chan! You said it was a promise! I can't wait any longer." _

"Alright, alright. Give me just a second." He hopped out of bed, put the notebook away, and flicked off the light. Then he collapse back onto the bed, but he was unconsciouss before he hit the mattress.

xxxxXXXXxxxxXXXXxxxx

Rukia froze. _He did not just say that. _She was kneeling before her captain in his main office at the Squad 13 barracks. "Re-redeployed, taichou?"

Ukitake had a warm smile. "You've been working hard. I think you deserve a break. And I am sure your little friend would love to see you again. As before; it's just one month unless you request otherwise. You have your konso and hollow duties of course, but you can play with your friend when the work is done... or whatever it is that you kids do these days. I know I can trust you to do an excellent job."

"Thank you, Taichou... but, I must decline." Rukia still tried to be respectful, but she wished her Captain would have spoken with her about it before setting it up.

"Decline?" Ukitake asked, surprised.

"I'm sorry, Taichou, I don't want to be disrespectful, but I really must decline." She tried to press herself into more of a bow.

"I thought you'd like to see your friend, the little boy with the orange hair. You two seemed pretty close."

"I don't... I don't want to see him." She replied.

Ukitake stood up with a heavy sigh. "I don't know what happened between you two, Rukia. However, if you never give him the chance to apologize, then things between you will never be fixed. I met him, and I doubt that he would want to be away from you for this long. Three days, go for three days and if you don't want to stay I'll bring you back."

"But, Taichou!" Rukia started.

"That's an order!" Ukitake stated fiercly. Then he became soft again, "I think this will be an important lesson for you. Three days, that's all. But I'd be willing to bet you'll stay longer. You're leaving tomorrow morning."

"Yes, Taichou." She replied, forcing the grumble out of her voice. He was going to ruin everything, two years of not seeing him, two years of letting him be. Now it was all going to be for naught.

xxxxXXXXxxxxXXXXxxxx

Ichigo was on his way to school when it happened. Tatsuki was walking with Orihime, so he was alone. Which was perfectly dandy because he was sore from his fight with Shiro the night before, and he hadn't wanted her to notice. She would've thought someone had been bullying him again.

"That was some battle, I lost again," He laughed.

_"Just barely, you'll beat me soon, I'd imagine. You're footwork is excellent, Ou-chan. You're powerful, and you've become skilled with handling that power. That was our longest so far, did you notice?" _The hollow asked.

"Of course I did," Ichigo rubbed at his face tiredly. "I only slept two hours."

It was then that suddenly he could distinctly feel the change of pressure in the air around him. There was the faint scent of irises and the breeze seemed a tad warmer. It wasn't very much, but he could feel it; it was reiatsu. "There's somebody new here."

Ichigo stopped, looking around in puzzlement. He couldn't quite place which direction it was in but he'd definitely gotten better at sensing reiatsu. He had a feeling about who it was, but he wouldn't allow himself to jump to such conclusions, not yet. A strange feeling arose in his chest, some ball of uncontainable excitement. He could feel the familiarity, he could feel_ her_.

"It's her, it's her, it's her!" He squeeled, stamping his feet excitedly. "I told you! I told you she would come back! I told you she cared!"

He hugged himself, wondering if he might just explode with joy. "Yes! Yes! Can you believe it, Shiro-kun?!" He giggled. "Rukia came back!"

**Chapter End**


	4. I've Been Waiting

**Chapter 4; I've Been Waiting**

Ichigo was running. His lungs screamed, his legs burned, but he couldn't stop, he wouldn't let himself slow down even a little bit. Because she was here, Rukia was here, and he had to find her. _Where... Where... Where?!_ He knew she was there, but he wasn't skilled enough to pin-point her. The sense of her was stronger and that was all that he had to go off of. He had been running around for over an hour straight, and it finally felt like he'd gotten closer. He turned the corner as he felt inclined to.

Then his eyes caught the black of shinigami robes, he'd finally found her. Rukia turned around as though she could feel his eyes on her.

Ichigo tore down the street, as though he had not just been running for an hour. He sucked in a deep breath and grinned at her, because it was really her. And his lungs shuddered because they needed air, he should have been panting, but he didn't allow it. Of course, it had been nearly two years, so how could he allow anything to interrupt this moment?

"Rukia!" He exclaimed gleefully.

"Hey there." She rubbed his head, as seemed natural, and she smiled at him. He was only a couple of inches shorter than her now, in a few months he would surpass her. He looked so much older in such a short amount of time. She was so happy to see him, and yet it killed her to smile at him because there was no way out of this without hurting him.

Seeing his wide amber eyes so filled with excitement, his giggle - pure and heart felt. He was supposed to have moved on with his life, to find other things to occupy his time, but now that look in his eyes told her what she had feared... that he had not ever stopped waiting for her, wanting for her, _needing _her as though his very existence was futile without her presence.

She could see the black of his reiatsu flickering across his skin, contained by the black bracelets, but eager to escape and whip at the empty air. She could sense how much depth the hollow feel in his reiatsu had

gained, and it hurt. It hurt because surely without her there he had turned to that dark part of himself, either for strength or for company.

The silence hung about them, as did the question of her absence, which remained unworded. Ichigo was too happy just with the fact that she stood before him now, and quickly discarded the thought of asking her. He was too happy to say much of anything, he just wanted to bask in her presence forever.

_Beep! Beep!_ Rukia pulled the cellphone-like device out of the top of her shihakushou and flipped it open.

"It's a hollow," She stated, pulling her eyebrows into a very serious expression. "I've got to go."

"Don't bother, it will come here, just give it a second." Ichigo stated calmly.

Rukia had to look back at him to see if he was serious.

"They always do, as soon as they realize I'm a lot tastier than whoever else they were planning to eat."

He was right, the dot on the screen of her cellphone-like device had changed direction, and now was heading towards them. She put the device away and pulled out her zanpakutou. "Why don't you get out of here, Ichigo. I'll take care of this."

"They don't frighten me like they used to." He smiled proudly at this, but she wasn't watching him anymore. "Just kill it, Rukia."

"Don't you have school to go to?" She pressed.

"I'm skipping today, it's not a big deal." Was his reply.

Then the white masked creature could be seen clawing its way over the house nearest them. Rukia quickly took a defensive position as it dropped onto the ground infront of them. It let out a hungry howl and lashed its tail about. It was excited, for it had just arrived at a feast. The hollow wriggled its long, lizard-like body, and then charged ahead. Rukia caught it with her zanpakutou, straight across the wide jaw of the mask. It howled again as it tried to close its mouth, but couldn't with the sword logged into its teeth.

Rukia let it pull back off the blade, and as soon as it did she struck it with a downward swing and sliced halfway through it's head. The creature disintegrated into the air. She was relieved that it had been an easy battle, and when she turned around she found Ichigo still standing there, looking more than content.

"Okay, listen, Ichigo." Rukia said sternly. She couldn't let him get too happy. "I'm very busy, I've got somethings I've got to take care of."

"Alright," He replied simply, and offered a wider smile.

"I'll see you around then." With that she shun-poed off to the east.

Ichigo shoved his hands into the pockets of his trousers and wished that he could be out of his body so that he could shun-po too. Nonetheless he began walking in the same direction.

xXxXXxXXxXXxXx

Ichigo had been walking for several hours, following after her. He had finally caught up with her a few times, but they were always brief visits before she had to run off and do something else.

_"This is degrading. Quit following her around like a puppy. Do what you were going to do anyway today, and when she's not busy let her find you."_ Shiro grumbled, exasperatedly.

"You're right." Ichigo sighed. His legs too were claiming they were done with this, they had been over used today. "School will be out in a few minutes, why don't we head over to Orihime's apartment?"

_"That sounds more like it."_

xXxXXxXXxXXxXx

Orihime and Tatsuki were sitting on the floor around the small, round table. Tatsuki was laughing at something Orihime had said, because although it was stated with much seriousness, it didn't really make any sense. Orihime tucked her hair behind her ears, unfazed by the laughter. Instead she stood up and went to her small refrigirator to see if she had anything they could drink with the taiyaki they'd just bought.

A small knock sounded at the door, the girls looked at each other, a little surprised.

"Who could that be?" Tatsuki asked.

"I wonder," Orihime stated bluntly. She put on a medium-sized smile, and a friendly face, before she approached the door. There was a bit of suspense as the door was opened, because Orihime didn't know a whole lot of people, and Tatsuki knew that.

"Oh my gosh, hello there!" Orihime exclaimed. "Please, please come inside!"

Tatsuki was more than shocked to see Ichigo walk into the one bedroom apartment. Surely it couldn't be a coincidence that he, of all people, was here? "Ichigo?!"

"Tatsuki!" Ichigo feined surprise. "What in the world are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing." She merely replied.

"Oh, do you know Ichigo?" Orihime asked after she assured the door was locked behind him. Then she turned to Ichigo, "My apologies, but I wasn't sure that you completely exsisted. Would you like to join us for a

little snack? We've just brought back some taiyaki."

"I'd be honored." He replied.

All the while Tatsuki sat there stunned, her mind trying to catch up to what was happening. "Did you... did you follow me here?"

The two of them gave her odd looks. Ichigo began nibbling on the fish-shaped pastry he'd been offered. "Not at all. I came to check on Orihime, I got her address from the records in the clinic. Not something I would usually do, but I figured that she wouldn't mind it."

"Not at all," Orihime smiled sweetly.

"So you already know each other?" She asked.

"I suppose you could say that," Orihime replied, laughed a little bit, and shoved a taiyaki into Tatsuki's hand.

"I didn't mean to intrude, Tatsuki. I didn't realize she was the friend you were spending the afternoon with. I wont stay but a minute," Ichigo said through a mouthful, which he then swallowed before continuing. "So then, how are you doing?"

"I'm managing. I couldn't do it without Tatsuki though."

"I'm glad she's helping you through this. She is a very good friend, perhaps the best friend you could've found." He stated very seriously, then he licked his fingers and stood up. "Well then, Tatsuki is supposed to be staying away from me so I'd better go. I'll see you both another time, okay? Thanks for the taiyaki."

"Feel free to come visit whenever, alright?" Orihime smiled sweetly.

"B-bye." Tatsuki's surprise followed him out the door.

As the door shut behind him, Ichigo grinned. Yes, it had been a very short visit, but all he had needed was to solidify his exsistence, and he was sure the Tatsuki would make sure of that. Orihime had to see him as a real person before they could develope any kind of friendship.

xXxXXxXXxXXxXx

"He's so cute, isn't he?" Orihime cooed after the door shut.

"I suppose he is, I've never really thought about him like that." Tatsuki set her taiyaki on the table top. "How do you know him?"

"I met him the night that O-nii-san died. I thought that he was an angel, when I met him, I didn't realize that he was a person. He was very sweet to me." Orihime explained wistfully. "But you clearly know him."

"We've been best friends since we were five, if you can believe that." Tatsuki was slowly winding down from the surprise.

"Five? Really? So he's actually a really actual person then?"

"Is that really still in question?"

"I'm sorry, it's just hard for me to believe. What is he like as a person?"

"Oh, Ichigo is sweet, he really is. He's... I'm not even sure how to describe him, he's just _different_. I don't know how else to explain it. He's always been different, and it's always been very difficult for him. He's been bullied his whole life, and now he usually just tends to want to be alone. Which is why I was so surprised that you'd met before, I've not seen him try to make a new friend for years."

"Maybe he's recovering," Orihime suggested, then she let out a bit of a squeak when she saw her words cast a shadow over her friend's face.

"Maybe he is. You see, about two years ago he... he was kidnapped." Tatsuki rubbed her arm, remembering that time was difficult for her. "It was all over the news, the police were searching for him. I thought... I thought I might've lost him. It was like... there were no leads. Like he had just disappeared."

Orihime seemed to curl in on herself. "What happened to him?"

"No one knows, they never figured it out. One day, half a month later, he just showed up again. He claimed he didn't remember anything."

"Didn't they figure he'd just run away?" She asked.

Tatsuki pressed her eyes closed, almost trembling. "No, because he came back all... all beaten up. They must have figured he was too scared to try to recall it. My point with that story was that he's always been different, and sometimes he'd do or say strange things. But after he came back from that, after things got back to being normal again, he didn't seem like a goofy little kid anymore. It was like he had grown up all through that, all at once, and almost like he became even stranger. Maybe, you're right, maybe he's finally recovering."

"I wonder... that maybe when he was kidnapped, he died. But he loved his family too much, he didn't want to leave them sad and frightened, so he refused to go onto heaven. And he was so young and so innocent that God granted him a little more time on earth. But he's not really, completely _alive_. He's just here watching over people for as long as he is able." Orihime suggested, and although it wasn't meant to, it broke the tensity in the room.

"That would be a reasonable deduction, if we were in an anime maybe." Tatsuki laughed.

"But he said he'd speak with O-nii-sama for me." Orihime pouted at her friend's disbelief.

"Well, because he's always - " Tatsuki stopped herself, but then decided to say it anyway. It was obvious Orihime had some awareness of the oddity that was Kurosaki Ichigo. "He's always been able to see spirits."

"Is that how it is?" Orihime seemed to zoneout with that thought.

xXxXXxXXxXXxXx

"Oh, welcome home, Ichigo!" Masaki called from the kitchen, she came around the corner, wipping her hands on her apron. "How was school today?"

"It was fine, Mama." Ichigo replied, shrugging off his school bag.

"Good, good. Why don't you start your homework at the table and I'll make you a snack." She offered.

"Sounds good," He dropped himself into a chair at the table. His father was standing against the wall, sipping on a mug of coffee.

"Thanks, Dad." Ichigo stated, and his father must have intercepted the phone call from the school that was to inquire about is absence. Isshin flashed him a knowing smile.

"Masaki, would you make me a snack too, please? I'm starving!" Isshin exclaimed, wheeling himself into the kitchen after her.

"Didn't you have a big lunch, honey?" She asked softly.

"Sure I did, but that paperwork is hard stuff! I need something to boost my spirits."

"Alright, I'll make you up something special." Masaki gave her husband a kiss, before he left to tackle the remainder of his work.

After his homework was done, Ichigo went and stood infront of the clinic. He'd begun to worry that Rukia wouldn't bother if he was inside the house. He waited patiently outside for two-and-a-half-hours.

_"C'mon, Ou-chan! She's clearly busy today, she's not coming. I know you're excited because she's back, but if you keep waiting around like this you're only going to be disappointed. Just live your life, and when she's free, she'll come to you, then you can be happy all over again." _The hollow spoke, his annoyance clear.

"Alright, alright. Just ten more minutes, okay?" Ichigo asked, sinking into the rough texture of the wall.

"_Whatever you need, Ou-chan, just try to not look so pathetic." _

Ichigo grimaced, and then tried to put a different expression on, something more confident. He was waiting to be happy, and he knew it. He had been so happy this morning, for only about half-an-hour. But it had been so long since he'd felt that happy. Seeing her was happiness.

He waited twelve more minutes, the two were just to be completely sure, and he slipped back into the house.

xXxXXxXXxXXxXXxXx

Ichigo had awoken feverently several times through the night, hoping to see her standing in his room amongst the folded shadows. But she never came. Shiro forbade him from going to look for her on the way to school the next morning, but that didn't stop him from watching, attentive and cautious, the whole way. Even in school all day, every time the classroom door opened, his heart jumped, hoping that maybe it was her.

_"As if she would pull you out of school!" _Shiro scoffed, and Ichigo could feel him rolling his eyes. The hollow didn't have anything against Rukia, really. He'd said Ichigo could have her, he hadn't ever had a problem with that. It was the fact, he detested, that as quickly as she could make his heart flutter with absolute joy, she could make his heart sink. She was Ichigo's biggest weakness. It was Ichigo's fault, though, for clinging to her every little action. He had tried to explain it to Ichigo before bed, but the King didn't seem to understand.

Ichigo frowned and tried to ignore that fact that she could be anywhere, and his measily reiatsu skills wouldn't be enough to define her.

_"Stop looking, Ou-chan, stop waiting!"_

He couldn't respond in the middle of class, but he tried to be distracted by what the teacher was saying, he made himself not look when the door was opened. But when the school bell wrang, and as he got his school things together, he knew that the disappointment had darkened his features.

"Hey, Ichigo?" It was Tatsuki.

"Oh, hello." As though he hadn't noticed her approach, hesitantly at first. "What's up, Tatsuki?"

"I was really surprised to see you yesterday, and I feel like I might've been a little rude. So, I'm sorry for that. Orihime and I are going to get some snacks and watch a game show over at her place, you can come if you'd like." She offered.

"Thanks, Tatsuki, that would be great. If you really don't mind..."

"Of course not. We're going to have a sleep-over though so you'll have to leave before it gets dark." She quickly added.

"Not a problem!" He grinned so big, it made her wonder if she'd gone from overbearing to neglegent. He stuffed his things hastily into his bag, he almost forgot his homework and bent the cover of his reading book before Tatsuki told him to slow down. Both Ichigo and Shiro were more than happy for the offer of distraction.

Tatsuki and Ichigo found Orihime out in the hall and together they all walked down to the corner store. Ichigo put the five dollars he'd gotten in allowance that week together with what money the girls had brought. They were able to buy quite a variety of treats to share as well as a bottle of strawberry-flavored soda. ("It's adorable!" Orihime had giggled, and insisted that he carry the bottle.) Then they headed over to her apartment, the three of them smiling and laughing. It was fun, Tatsuki decided. She hadn't been sure how it would go because she had never interacted with Ichigo in this way with another person present. She had almost expected him to simply not be able to function, but so far he seemed quite normal. Plus it was a pleasure to watch him smiling and laughing, his face was alit in a way she had not seen in a long time. Perhaps it wasn't that he had begun prefering to be alone, he'd just gotten used to it.

Maybe he was okay now, as he claimed to be. Maybe she had been confusing sadness or depression for loneliness.

Orihime let them into her apartment, and then began getting cups and plates out of the small cupboard in her tiny square of a kitchen. Tatsuki went to turn on the television while they got everything ready in the kitchen, and as she left silence fell. Ichigo looked over at Orihime, she offered him a sweet smile. He realized that, if it was as simple as Shiro had suggested, that he could expose her to his reiatsu at any moment. All he had to do was touch her. Perhaps it could even be in a simple passing gesture. She turned her back towards him, dividing the goodies onto plates while he was supposed to be pouring everyone a cup of the soda.

_"Expose her," _The hollow urged.

His eyes traced the contour of her shoulders. All he had to do was reach out and touch her. He began to pull the power up from his depths and let it tumult like electricity through his body. He raised his hand, as his power maxed out - all he could access in his body. The feeling made his heart race, it made him grin. He reached for her.

"Ichigo!" Tatsuki screeched, she snatched his arm away before he could touch her. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I-is something the matter?" Orihime squeaked as she spun around, but Tatsuki had already hauled Ichigo to the door. It slammed behind the two of them, leaving a very confused Orihime alone in her apartment.

"W-what were you doing?" Tatsuki demanded, releasing his arm.

"What do you mean?" Ichigo asked, shoving the power back down inside the depths of his soul.

"What the hell were you doing?!" Tatsuki bellowed. "What the hell was that?! Your eyes were glowing blue!"

"I wasn't going to hurt her." He replied calmly.

"Then what were you doing?"

"I... I see people differently than you do, Tatsuki. I'm sure that you have some understanding of that by now. And I know that Orihime is a very special person. I only wanted to say, 'hi'."

Tatsuki's eyes still burned defensively. "I'm going to be very frank with you. You live in a different world than I do - I know that. I have always accepted and been supportive of you. But Orihime has just lost her brother, she is struggling to keep her life together. I don't care how special she is in your world. I don't want you to bring any of that near her! Do you understand me Kurosaki Ichigo? You will be no means endanger her!"

"Alright, Tatsuki." He responded. "I get it, I won't touch her."

"Now, you can either come inside and be nothing more than a human to her. Or you will get out of here, and never come near her again."

"I will come inside, just let me have a moment to compose myself." Ichigo requested, although Tatsuki could have used a moment more than him. She gave a hard stare, and then went into the apartment, just about slamming the door behind her.

"I won't stay much longer, it wont be much fun with Tatsuki mad at me, but I have to show her I can behave normally." He stated aloud, now that he was alone.

"_You can come back when she's gone_." Shiro suggested.

"You know what, maybe Tatsuki is right. She did just lose her brother. Maybe I was premature. She's not supposed to be exposed until High School anyway. It might be too much for her to deal with all of this right now."

_"You're going to wait three years, Ou-chan?" _

"Yeah... I think that I will."

xXxXXxXXxXXxXx

Ichigo had dared to hang around for only about half an hour, Tatsuki had become unbarebly tense after seeing that and had barely said a word. Hopefully he hadn't ruined the rest of her day. So instead Ichigo returned home, did his homework, helped his mother with dinner, and proceeded to have a perfectly mundane evening.

After dinner, and some delicious home-made pie, the girls were put to bed. Ichigo watched a half-hour show with his parents, some kind of singing competetion, and then sent himself off to bed.

"She's not going to come see me, Shiro. This is the second day, and I haven't seen her at all! I don't think you're right, that she would come find me in her free time." Ichigo complained, he was changing into his pajamas.

_"You've waited two years, you can wait two days."_ The hollow grumbled as Ichigo went to the bathroom sink to brush his teeth. _"You don't know how long she's going to be here, maybe she's trying to finish whatever her mission is so she'll have the rest of the time off."_

"Maybe so," He mumbled through a mouthful of toothpaste. He spat it out, and rinsed his mouth with water. "I think tomorrow, if I can find her, I'll just visit with her a moment. Maybe she'll tell me what's going on."

_"If you feel you must."_

"I do." Ichigo asserted. Then returned to his room, shut off the lights, and jumped into bed.

xXxXx

Moonlight shone through a crack in the curtain, giving its dim light to the one room apartment. Silently, aptly, he approached the side of futon, and stared, vacant of emotion, down at the sleeping girl.

"_I'm doing this for both of us, Ou-chan_. _Think of it as an investment._" Ichigo's whispered voice reverberated, but Ichigo wasn't aware, curled up deep asleep inside. He knelt down and placed his hand on the girl's shoulder.

xXxXx

Ichigo yawned, he felt unrested although he had even gone to sleep earlier than usual. He rubber the blur from his eyes, and scanned the street he'd turned onto. He had to keep his eyes sharp, ever since she'd arrived he found himself always watching very cautiously, hoping his eyes would catch on her. But since Shiro had insisted he stop acting like a lost puppy, he hadn't seen hide nor hair of the shinigami.

He got to school five minutes late because he didn't realize how long he'd spent not finding her. He sighed heavily, then made up an excuse for her so that he could smile as he entered the classroom. But as he walked over to his desk he saw how Tatsuki not only looked away from him, but completely, awkwardly shifted her body towards the window. Clearly she was still miffed about yesterday.

Tatsuki had not really ever been this upset with him. He frowned at her and sat down.

_"She'll get over it."_ The hollow assured.

Ichigo nodded as he flipped open his text book, hoping it had been subtle enough that it hadn't been strange. It had never been easy for him to respond mentally, even though the hollow could hear every thought. It was like that all day, Tatsuki outrightly avoided him. After the final bell wrang he quickly slid through the crowd to her desk, intent on confronting her about it, but he froze after halting right beside her. Out of the window, Ichigo spotted a black figure standing beside the entrance gate. His heart fluttered. _Finally, _he thought, _finally she wants to see me. _Tatsuki had slipped away, but it was just as well because he forgot all about her. He tore through the halls, shoving himself through the crowd. They shouted and complained, but he didn't care to even apologize. He just want to get outside, to see her.

"Rukia!" He shouted, and panted, and laughed all at the same time as he halted infront of her. "You came to pick me up?"

"Hey there," She replied, but there was no smile. "Why don't you walk with me for a little bit?"

"Of course," He agreed, but her tensity overwhelmed him. He plodded after her, hugging his school bag to his chest.

"So, Ichigo..." She began, as they turned onto an empty street. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm going back to the Soul Society tomorrow."

Ichigo stopped walking. "Is... is that right?"

Rukia stopped as well and turned to face him. He looked as though he was expecting her to hit him, he was recoiling. "Yes, I thought it would be fair to warn you."

"Why are you going back so soon?" He asked.

"I only came in the first place because Ukitake made me. He said I could go back early."

"Well, did you want to hang out with me, or something, before you have to go?" Ichigo attempted. "Maybe we could just talk for a little bit? You've kind of been avoiding me since you got here."

_"Why do you even bother?"_ The hollow asked with exasperation.

"We're talking now, Ichigo." Was her reply, and she mentally cursed Ukitake. There was no way out of it without hurting him. "If you have something you want to say, say it now."

He felt panicked. "Are you mad at me? Is there something I should apologize for? I'm sorry, but I honestly can't think of what I might've done to upset you. I thought that things were good between us."

"I'm not mad. I just... it's that I just don't think that we should be friends." She cringed when her words hit him.

"God," He laughed sadly, his eyes dropping to the asphalt. "All I can think is, that you must really hate me."

_"Leave, now." _The hollow demanded. _"Get away from her."_

"Ichigo, I don't hate you, it's just - " But he cut her off.

"Alright, good-bye then, Rukia." He tried to smile at her, tried to make himself believe that _it hadn't hit him that hard_. With that he took off past her, on down the street till all he could hear was the pounding of his feet and the thumping of his heart. Shiro was right, he had to get out of there. He felt like he was suffocating and he couldn't do anything to stop it. He practically flew down the steps to the small park he often visited, slung his school bag into the dirt, and collapsed onto a swing. He was panting hard, but it wasn't like he had been running that long, or that hard. It was mostly emotional fatigue.

He kicked angrily at the dirt. "Why did she even bother coming back?!"

_"She told you, her captain made her. C'mon, Ou-chan, you're alright."_

He nodded emptily, taking deep breaths to steady his temperament.

_"There you go." _Shiro encouraged as he finally reached a level of calm.

"Okay, okay... I'm alright, Shiro-kun." He said, allowing his head to rest against the chain.

But the hollow knew better, that woman had taken a sledge hammer to his foundation - he was fragile. Ichigo sat on the swing, digging his shoes into the dirt, and trying to not feel miserable. His head was silent, as the hollow gave him space to try and process. Until, at last, it offered, _"Come here, Ou-chan. Let's blow off some steam."_

Usually it would matter that he was outside, in public, that people could find him. But he threw himself backwards into the darkness of his soul and left his body slumped on the swingset.

xXxXXxXx

The two had been sparing for over an hour, across the brilliant blue scape of his inner world. Ichigo had gotten hit three times in the last ten minutes, and he was finding that the sparing was no longer distracting enough. He needed something else to absorb his attention so that he really didn't have to think about her anymore. Even if it was just for a little while, he needed to escape from that ache in his chest. It occured to him, as he lunged out of the way of Shiro's on-slaught, exactly what he needed.

"Time out!" Ichigo called, having to dodge again before the hollow halted.

_"What is it?"_

"I don't want to spar, it's not helping anymore." Ichigo stated as he returned his zanpakutou to his back.

The hollow narrowed its eyes, _"What are you going to ask me to do?"_

"I want to... I want you to show me what's over there. I have to know what it is." He pointed off in the direction that he had felt that strange force calling to him on more than one occasion. The hollow had always forbidden it. But now, surely it was the perfect thing to discover.

"_Don't go over there,_" The hollow ordered.

"I have to know."

"_Ou-chan,_" The hollow warned.

"Forgive me this one indiscretion," Ichigo requested pleadingly.

The hollow's eyes seemed to shudder with annoyance. Then they moved to look in the direction the force came from. _"I guess, we might as well deal with all this now..." _Before he finished Ichigo was gone. Shiro turned and quickly flashed after him.

Ichigo went further than he had ever gone across the blue of skyscrapers till the air before him wavered red. It was as if it materialized itself upon his arrival - a giant orb of a barrier that contained several blocks. Ichigo slowed to a halt. Once he saw it he knew exactly what it was. Shiro arrived in a static flash beside him.

"This is..." Ichigo muttered, moving his arm into something of a self-hug. It made his body quake.

_"God didn't take our memories," _The hollow stated flatly. _"He sealed them up inside."_

In a burst, as though he was suddenly overwhelmed with necessity, Ichigo grabbed his zanpakutou off his back and swung, as hard as he could muster, at the red barrier. The hollow caught the blade an inch from the barrier with his hand.

_"Silly, Ou-chan." _The hollow stated, he grinned but his eyes seemed hard and cold. _"You are strong, but do you really think that you could break a barrier that God created? You'll only hurt yourself."_

"But... but... it's all right here. Everything I wanted, it's right here. I could be _Him_ again." Ichigo stuttered, he withdrew his sword.

The hollow wrapped his arms around him in what seemed like was intended to be a hug. It was a strange gesture, but the hollow knew where this was heading, and he hoped if Ichigo felt comforted, he could head off any problems. "_There, there, my tasty little king, you'll be alright." _As though tasty was a term of endearment.

"Please, let me try. Let me try." And a thought arouse in his head that made his guts sting, _Maybe she would like me better... maybe she wouldn't hate me... maybe... maybe she would stay if I were _Him_._

A growl rolled off the hollow as he released Ichigo, his eyes were hard and unamussed. _"For her? You would throw yourself away, for her?_"

Ichigo stared into those dark, yellow eyes. He blinked his own as tears began to roll down his cheeks. "B-but, you said, Shiro. You said I could have her."

_"She's hurt you. It hurts so... so badly, doesn't it, Ou-chan?"_ Shiro asked. Ichigo nodded slowly, trying to wipe the tears off his cheeks. _"Right now, you don't want to be him because you've aspired to. You want to be him because you think that maybe it wont hurt anymore, that maybe she wont hurt you anymore. You will not have her like that! You will not have her at all - if it means you always being hurt by her like this!"_

Zangetsu clattered on the floor as both Ichigo's hands shakingly grabbed at his head, his body trembling, till at last he broke down into sobs. He dropped to his knees, curling into a ball. "I... I love her."

The hollow knelt infront of him and placed his white hand on Ichigo's shoulder. "_I know._"

**Chapter End**


	5. An Imperfect Love

**Chapter 5; An Imperfect Love**

Ichigo Kurosaki was pacing around his room, his hands holding his head in frustration. His hair was disheveled and the underneath of his eyes was faintly dark; he hadn't slept at all. How could he, really? When she was leaving? When he couldn't figure out what the hell was wrong with her...

"What am I going to do? I've gotta try to talk to her before she leaves."

_"She wont listen to you_." The hollow muttered, fed up with all the confused thoughts that were streaming through Ichigo's head. _"I think you should just forget about her. We were doing fine before she showed up."_

Ichigo collapsed onto the bed. The bright glow of his clock showed that it was just after six; he'd been out of bed for an hour. He groaned loudly as his mind flashed back to yesterday afternoon. "I have to.. if she leaves I don't know how long it will be until I can see her again. I think that I should try at least once more. I might... I might never see her again if I don't do something."

_"Sounds like a stupid idea to me, why would you go? It's not like you're going to stop her."_

Ichigo rolled back off his bed, pulled off his pajama shirt, and refiled through his draws for a day shirt. When nothing really appealed to him he gave up and pulled his uniform out of the closet. "You know what I mean, don't you, Shiro-kun?"

_"If you go, you will only wind up hurt."_

"I know, Shiro-kun, I know. That possibility is high..." Ichigo sighed, he began to put on a pair of socks. "But I would rather not be left here confused for Kami-sama knows how long."

_"I don't think you realize how much you have riding on this." _The hollow stated. _"Have you forgotten about last night? Don't go, don't bother with her."_

"I don't think you realize how important it is for me to do this, I have to. It just isn't an option; I have to." He slipped his feet into his shoes and checked the clock again; it was almost six-thirty.He opened the top drawer of his dresser and took out it's only contents; the notebook. This he carefully tucked away inside his shirt so that the cool metal rings pressed against his flesh. The more the hollow argued the more he felt that he had to do it, more and more he realized that if he just didn't do it... how would he be able to live with himself? "I'm going."

A familiar cold feeling overwhelmed him as his consciousness slid away. Unfocused blotches of white and blue melted into actual shapes and textures. His hollow counter-part was standing right infront of him, its hands tightly clenching his shoulders.

"_Listen to me Ou-chan." _The hollow said urgently. "_You cannot do this. It doesn't matter if you feel something for her, you can't do this or you're going to completely destroy the future that we are creating!"_

"No...Shiro-kun. I've got to." He argued, staring into those yellow eyes. He could see there was mounting frustration in the hollows extremely pale features.

_"You can't!" _It shouted. _"You just can't!"_

"I'm sorry." Was all he could supply. "I made up my mind. This might be my last chance."

_"She's going to hurt you, and you are in no condition to handle that. Don't let her ruin you! I'm telling you right now that you need to stop this, that's an order, Ou-chan." _

Ichigo sighed heftly. "Oh, Shiro-kun, please don't turn this into that! I don't want to disobey, but if you force this decision upon me; I will choose to go."

He could feel his white doppleganger's hands begin to shake with anger. _"Very well then, I wont stop you. I haven't decided if I'm going to forgive you this... and until then you can condsider the pact null n' void."_

xXxXXxXXxXx

Rukia breathed in the chilly morning air. It was her last day in Karakura town... the very last day she would ever be in this foresaken town... hopefully. That was assuming Ukitake-taichou didn't force her to come back here, or something horrible didn't happen. What did she accomplish here anyway, besides destroying his life? Leading him to his own demise... Just like that hollow. Oh, how she hated that thing... it was also dragging him towards his end.

In a couple of hours her replacement would be here to switch places with her, and that would be the end of it. Then she felt him heading her way.

"C'mon, Ichigo, just let me go." She whispered to herself. He would have nothing to do with her, 'you're better off without me' speech. She was not good at talking - had never been good at talking. People seemed to think that she possessed some kind of skill with talking to Ichigo, like the Rukia from his book had, but that was all him. He'd always managed to just fix himself, like magic, in her presence. It had never actually been her who'd helped him.

"R-Rukia." She heard him, nervous and reluctant, call out her name. Inside she sighed.

"Ichigo," She acknowledge, turning to face him.

"Please, don't go, Rukia. Not yet." He panted, trying to catch his breath.

"I'm sorry, Ichigo, it'll be better this way. I'm -" He cut her off.

"I love you!" He shouted, staring desperately into her large purple eyes, searching for some amout of understanding. He had promised himself, before he would admit this to her, that he didn't need her to return his feelings - he just needed her to be able to understand why she was so important.

Rukia was quiet for a long while before she slowly started to shake her head. "Please don't do this, Ichigo. You must realize... you and me... it will never work. What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to say? If it was meant to work out then all of this stupid stuff wouldn't have happened. You're a human... and you're just a kid."

"But..." Ichigo tried to intervine, his insides feeling numb. He struggled to put a descent thought into words. What was _he _supposed to say? What could he say? "I think..."

"You think what?" Rukia asked after he trailed off.

Ichigo lowered his eyes. "I don't think that's true... I think it wouldn't have happened if it wasn't meant to..."

"Ichigo..." Rukia said pleadingly.

"Nevermind then, forget I said anything." He muttered hautly. "Just, please don't leave yet. Rukia, please."

"I've already set it up with Ukitake-taichou." Rukia replied as though it couldn't be helped.

"Change it! Ukitake would understand!"

"No, Ichigo. In three hours I'm leaving." She stated with such a tone that he mentally added to it; _and I'm not coming back._

He tried to not let her see that he was shaking. He didn't want to lose her. That was the very last thing he wanted to happen. "...alright. But, would you at least have the descency to tell me what I did to make you hate me?"

"I don't hate you." Rukia said in a coaxing way that just made him angry.

"Then what is it?! Why are you avoiding me?! I've only seen you a few times since you came back! Please, if you're leaving me then tell me what you really think... I told you how I feel! I'm bearing my soul to you here! I know I'm clingy, and over-attached, and maybe I am just some stupid little kid. But this stupid little kid wouldn't know what to do if you left him like this. I told you my truth, I've done everything I can think of to get you to stay for a little bit longer! At least give me your reason, or I'll waste the rest of my life making up excuses for you. If you're not going to come back then tell me why I deserve that! What did I do?! Why are you doing this to me?! Is it because I'm like this? Is that the reason?"

"I'm not mad at you." Was all Rukia could think to say.

"Then why?!" He beseeched.

"...Where do you even plan on taking this? Where do you see this going, this whole everything? Where do you think trying to follow in _his _footsteps is going to get you? What kind of life do you think you can create for yourself with that _thing_?"

"I've told you before, I want to join the Gotei 13! I'm a shinigami, and I always want to be a shinigami! _We_ want to... are going to be a Captain one day!" He shouted back.

"You're not a shinigami, you're a vaizard! You'll never be allowed to join the Gotei 13, let alone be a captain! It's not even like you're trying to fight it, you've befriended the thing!"

"Kenpachi's a Captain, and I have more control over my hollow than he has over his sanity!"

"Kenpachi isn't a hollow! You think you can hide what you are? You can't! Unohana and Ukitake both noticed it, did you know that? Everyone who was in the Seireitei the day you fought Aizen could tell that inside you're _just a hollow! _You have no future there! There is no future for you with that thing!" Rukia shouted at him before she really thought of what she was saying. Ichigo's eyes had obtained a blankness as though he were shutting down, his body was refusing to allow her words to penetrate his mind any further. "What you want to do is impossible! When I came back I couldn't feel one ounce of shinigami in your reiatsu, if you even set foot in the Soul Society they would hunt you down and kill you!"

"_That's enough_!" Ichigo bellowed in a dark voice that wasn't his, it reveberated through the air. He rolled his eyes at her, shaking his head with annoyance. "_Was it really necessary to hurt him like that? No mercy? You've really got to tear him down, when all he has ever done is love you?_"

Rukia jumped, frightened by the swift change in personality. It was that _thing_ that now spoke through him. Yet, it was standing up for Ichigo. Preventing her from hurting him anymore. Guilt socked her guts, she cringed. Rukia realized she'd gone much too far, she'd been too afraid to be honest with him, and instead she'd dug into him.

In control again, Ichigo lowered his eyes, his mouth opened as though he wanted to say something more... but he stopped. He couldn't even formulate a proper sentence. _I can't...put my thoughts into words... I can't stand it... I can't take it. _Instead he turned and ran. He was weak. To cry infront of her would be weak. He couldn't quite say anything more without cracking into pieces, he had his truth and it was just as, if not more, painful than he'd expected it to be when he asked for it.

_It's gone. _He thought as his feet pounded on the wet asphalt. _Everything is gone. Just like you said. There's no way... no way... any of it could continue... I can't... I can't stand it. _He halted on the middle of a small bridge that crossed the river. Inside his shirt he had the notebook tucked away, Ichigo reached in and pulled it out.

_"What are you doing?" _The hollow demanded.

Ichigo flipped it open to some random page. Coldly he muttered. "It doesn't matter anymore, all of that is gone."

He clenched a few pages, much harder then he would've ever dared to and tore them out. An unknown anger boiled up as, despite his teachings, tears began to roll down his cheeks. The gentle drizzle dropped water onto the paper that began to blur the scribbly writing.

_"Don't do that!" _The hollow shouted. _"Stop it! You're destroying the notebook! That's our only connection to _Him_! You really want to tear it up?!"_

"You were right, Rukia is right. I ruined everything with my idiotic human ideas. I could never...I never could've followed in his footsteps. I don't care about this stupid thing anymore!" He screamed, ripping more and more pages. His muscles suddenly met resistance as the hollow tried to control him.

_"It's not worth destroying the notebook over!" _Shiro growled. _"I'll fix this! It doesn't have to be over, you still have your powers. You're still a Shinigami."_

"No." He growled, straining against the hollow. "I'm a hollow." They struggled for a minute the hollow was attempting to hold him, still he broke past it like he had before and tore handful after handful of the lined pages out as the hollow frantically tried to stop him. _Just a hollow. That's all she thinks of me now. I am just... just a hollow. She can't even stand to look at me anymore. I can't do this, I won't do this without her. She was my whole reason, my only reason. If she feels that way... then I can't stand to do this anymore. How could I stand to be me, if she hates who I am? No, not who. She hates what I am. _

_"She ditched you, you moron! She played with your heart, don't you remember?! Acting all friendly one minute and then boom, you don't see her for two years. The only reason she came back was because her Captain made her come back. You heard what she told you! She wasn't planning on coming back! Don't you see?! There is no connection. We've got to forget about her and move on. We can do this without her, we can do this together. We can't care what she thinks."_

"But it's the truth!" He hysterically shouted back. _That's the hardest part. I know that everything she said... is true. _The ripped pages flew around him before being swept out towards the water.

Shiro cursed loudly, unable to gain the upper hand. Ichigo was stubbornly strong willed, especially when he was experiencing some extreme emotions. He tried to stop the hands as they teared out more pages, he knew destroying the book was a huge mistake, he was sure sooner or later Ichigo would recognize that too.

There were hardly any pages left, Ichigo picked up the remainder of the book and tossed it over the edge. As soon as it was out of his hands the hollow broke through. Shiro scrambled ontop of the wall and lunged after the falling skeleton of what was once the very most important thing to the both of them. He snatched it out of the air right as he plummeted into the ice cold water. Ichigo wasn't incontrol at all anymore, he wasn't even kicking.

_"What a baby." _The hollow inwardly grumbled, resurfacing. The book was becoming soggy, making the retrivale attempt futile. The entire notebook was in ruins, the torn pages scattered across the water. _"Dammit; I knew this was going to happen. I warned you! I warned you, and you refused to listen, you refused to obey and now look what has happened! Your resolve, your aspiration; she's taking it with her!"_

He struggled up onto the bank, and with each movement that followed Ichigo came more in control as the hollow forcibly sank back. He was sopping wet from head to toe, the dirt clung to him as he crawled away from the shore. He clung to the notebook that, at best, had three pages left in it. Stopping, Ichigo stared at the cover, it was completely ruined... but he didn't know if he cared anymore. He hugged it to his chest, curling into a ball as more warm drops began sliding down his cheeks. The book represented all his hopes and dreams. But they felt so tattered now, and without them that book lost its meaning.

Ichigo rocked back and forth feeling horridly dreadful, he knew he couldn't stop it. He couldn't stop the tears from flowing from his eyes. With a defeated cry of pain he subjected himself to his broken feelings.

xXxXXxXXxXx

He forced his eyes open, the sky above was still dull and gray, but it had stopped raining. Ichigo was spread across the grassy bank, his finger tips just resting on the metal rim of the notebook. He was damp and cold, he was numb.

"Shiro?" He asked. No response.

He had been there for several hours, not knowing what else to do with himself but writhe with despair. Now he stared empitly up at the sky. _What do I do now?_

"Shiro-kun? Please say something." His body shivered uncontrollably, but he refused to seek out warmth. "I'm sorry I disobeyed you. I'm sorry that I didn't listen. You were right. Damn it all, I shouldn't have wasted my breath... I shouldn't have been so stupid as to believe... that would've accomplished anything... that it would change anything... that it fricken' would've meant something!"

The faint and distant cawwing of birds and noises of traffic were the only things he heard. Ichigo let out a shuddered sigh.

"What am I supposed to do with myself?" He asked the sky, somberly. The darkness had already begun to settle inside him.

xXxXXxXXxXx

Isshin's hand was on the phone before it even wrang. It had just hit ten o'clock and Ichigo hadn't shown up for school, and they were trying to find out why. "Hello, yes Mr. Kurosaki speaking... Yes, I'm sorry for the trouble, he's fevorish and can't get out of bed... Yes, not a problem, thank you for your concern." Then he hung it up.

He couldn't pin-point his son's exact location in his mind, but he'd known that Ichigo hadn't gone to school. He had been gone since Isshin got up, but Rukia was in town so it was excuse-able. He wondered how many times he would be justified to play cover-up for his son before it had gone too far, because Ichigo was still a student and he had a responsibility to his education.

_Five times, maybe? For a month._ Isshin wondered, but maybe that was even too much, he'd miss a whole week. _We'll just have to see, I'll talk to him if it happens again._

With that decided, Isshin returned to his paperwork.

xXxXXxXXxXx

Tatsuki was avoiding him, Shiro would no longer respond or offer comment, and Rukia... Rukia hated him. She found him deplorable, a horrid creature. He no longer exsisted in a state that she was willing to associate with. His heart thumped with sharp, painful beats and he willed it to just give up, he reasoned that there was no longer a reason for it to continue on in this matter. He should be wailing, weeping.

But Ichigo couldn't cry anymore, he didn't have any tears left. Even the feeling of sorrow was leaving him. What flooded him in its place was anger and unwavering malevolence.

He walked on, emptily, boiling. The brush cracked beneath his feet. He had been walking for hours and was now in the darkening woods outside town. He hadn't trusted himself enough to stay there around people, he couldn't go home, so he secluded himself.

As he walked into the depth of the woods, he began pulling the power forward. Creatures, who'd hidden themselves all around him, now scattered madly, running for their lives. Even their dull, animal senses told them he was dangerous. He drew the power till it reached its max, and then he kept on pulling to overcome the barrier. His bones shuddered, straining under the pressure. The black bands groaned under the force as though they were made of iron rather than cloth. Instead of pushing that power back down to relieve the pressure, he pressed his palms to the trunk of a tree and expelled it. The tree rippled as if it was made of water, then shattered into thousands and thousands of splintered pieces which rained down around him.

He screamed with audible fury and dispelled a second tree, as he was trying to rid himself of the entire extent of his power. But by the little dent it made on his store, it could take more than a million trees, and even then it wouldn't take his powers away.

Yellow eyes watched from the shadows of the forest all around him. He was surrounded by hungry hollows, who were drawn to his display of power, yet they kept their distance.

"What are you waiting for?" He screeched at them. "You ugly, miserable beasts! You serve no purpose but to be hated!"

He curled in on himself, emitting a low growl.

"What are you waiting for? Eat me!" He bellowed. "EAT ME!"

They seemed to move further away.

"You cowards!" He raged, his eyes and body flaring blue, red, and black."You digusting, god damn cowards! You're afraid too? You wont even try to eat me anymore?! What are you so afraid of? I'm just another hollow! A God-forsaken hollow! I have all this power... and I don't want it anymore! I hate it! You freaking idiots! I am offering this to you and you wont take it?! Do you know how lonely that feels... It's like nothing has a purpose anymore... What did I want power for? ...What was I even living for?!"

Ichigo screamed again, shaking with anger, because if he didn't he would cry, and he couldn't cry anymore. "What is the point? What is the point of living as this horrid abomination? I don't belong _anywhere_! What kind of life can I have?!"

xXxXXxXXxXx

Isshin and Masaki were sitting at the dining room table. It was nearly three o'clock in the morning now, they'd been waiting up all night. Ichigo hadn't made it to school, and he hadn't made it back home. Isshin had assured Masaki that Ichigo was alright. He had tried to console her, but the worry on his face betrayed him and she grew increasingly distraught.

"He'll be back any minute now," Isshin coaxed, rubbing his wife's hand affectionately. Ichigo's reiatsu had gotten quite distant for a while there, but now he could feel it nearing.

"I hope that he's alright," Masaki replied, she was slumped exhaustedly on the table.

"He better have a good excuse," Isshin was irritated, he'd been trying to comfort Masaki all night, and it wasn't easy.

The turning of the doorknob was resounded loudly in the quiet of the house. Ichigo entered, disheveled. He had bits of wood and leaves matted through his hair, his body and clothes were covered in small scratches and tears from being beside the trees he had exploded.

"Mom, Dad." He acknowledged blankly. He kept his eyes on his shoes unable to meet their eyes, he had begged for those hollows to kill him, and knowing the sorrow that would have brought them... He couldn't face them with the hefty shame of it, of _wanting to die_. How dare he? Without considering how it would effect his dear mother - and yet, he had. He had thought of it, and in the moment the thought was only one of logic, but he was beyond the point where logic could solace him. It simply hadn't mattered, because surely even their sorrow was better then spending a life with him.

"What are you thinking? Your mother was worried sick!" Isshin intend to be harsh, but his voice cracked and it sounded like more of a whine. Up close his read on Ichigo's spirit energy was much clearer, and it was heartbreaking.

"It was preferable to letting her see me like that," Ichigo stated blatantly, not daring to glance up at his mother, even though he wanted to see her face. He manuveured his body towards the staircase, but arms caught him up. Startled, he found himself in his father's arms.

"Dad?! What are you-" Ichigo exclaimed before he was pulled into a tight hug.

Isshin glowed with a tenderness that he didn't often show. "You've had an awful day, haven't you?"

Ichigo nodded, he opened his mouth but couldn't find any words. He gave up and sank into the warmth his father offered him. His reiatsu throbbed desperately through the contact, his very being crying out for help. Isshin rubbed his back with an unfamiliar gentleness.

Masaki stood, several feet behind them, not knowing whether to join in the comfort, or to let this momemt just be between the two of them. Her husband had always struggled on how to handle Ichigo, who had always been very emotional for a boy. But really, in Ichigo's world, his father was probably the person who was most capable of understanding him. She saw it click in Isshin's eyes before he had scooped up Ichigo, like he was finally aware of all that lay between the two of them.

Isshin had felt killing intent flaring in reiatsu before, but never self-directed like his son's was. Feeling _that _had crushed all hesitation and confusion, his paternal instinct had taken over. He had thought that he was doing better with Ichigo, but clearly he was just as insensible as he'd always been... and it had nearly cost him his son. "It must be scary, feeling like you have to deal with all of this by yourself. But, you don't have to do it alone anymore, Ichigo. I'm right here for you, I will always be here for you, from now on."

Ichigo whimpered something incomprehensible, pressed his eyes shut, and clasped the front of his father's shirt tightly.

"That's right, I'm right here for you," Isshin coaxed. "And tomorrow is going to be a brand new day. The possibilities are endless! There is so much that you can do with a brand new day, Ichigo. We'll see what we can do with a new day, won't we? I'll help you, I swear, we'll make things better. They'll still be hard at first, but they will get better."

Eventually Ichigo became dead weight, asleep, and his reiatsu throbbed with a certain amount of content. Isshin sat down on the couch with him pressed to his chest. Masaki sat down beside him, and slid her arm comfortingly around his shoulder, he had tears on the rims of his eyes.

"What did you feel?" Masaki asked, her voice hardly above a whisper.

Isshin shook his head in disbelief, and blinked away the tears that had been forming. "It was such a frightening... _lonely _feeling."

Masaki pressed herself into him, resting her head on his shoulder. Her other hand began to lightly caress Ichigo's matted hair.

"I think we should let him sleep in our bed tonight," Isshin stated, tilting his head against Masaki's. "I don't want him to wake up alone."

Masaki squeezed his shoulder in response, and let a quiet fall between them that was given rythmn by Ichigo's heavy breathing.

xXxXXxXXxX

Tatsuki thought it was strange when she heard the phone ringing at seven o'clock in the morning, so she left the bathroom with only half her hair combed. Her parents would be leaving for work in another ten minutes, and she had just gotten up to get ready for school. The caller ID read; _Kurosaki Clinic_.

She snatched the handset up, took a sharp, apprehensive breath, and hit the talk button. "Hello?"

"Tatsuki-chan?" It was Ichigo's mother on the other end.

"Yes, ma'am. Is everything alright?" She asked.

"Yes, well... sort of. Ichigo has told me that he's been encouraging you to spend some time with a new friend. But I was hoping, if it was not too much trouble, that you would walk him to school this morning. He had a very bad day yesterday, and you might be able to help him."

"Sure thing, Mrs. Kurosaki. I'll be over in about twenty minutes." Tatsuki replied.

"Thank you, Tatsuki-chan. You're a good friend."

Tatsuki hung the phone up, and dwindled by the reciever. _Ichigo... what's happened this time?_

xXxXXxXXxXXxXx

Ichigo was taken aback when he turned around at the foot of the stairs and found Tatsuki standing in the dining room with his mother.

"Now, don't look so surprised," Masaki laughed lightly. "She's here to walk to school with you."

"Is that so?" Ichigo asked, he pressed his lips together, not sure what he thought of it, but obviously unamussed. His hair was only half-way descent even after Masaki had struggled with it for an hour. He'd always had cowlicks that made it unmanageable, but this morning it had been matted with plant debris and several other substances that she couldn't define. There was a thick darkness around and through his eyes, so that it almost looked more like he'd been punched in either eye than hadn't slept enough. His face was set grimly, even as he regarded Tatsuki's presence.

"Here is your lunch, honey. Are you all ready?" Masaki asked after only silence stretched between the two friends.

"Yes, Mama." Ichigo moved past Tatsuki to say goodbye to his mother.

Masaki had always overdone it with affection, Tatsuki thought, though at the same time she reasoned that perhaps someone like Ichigo required it to keep sane. This morning was no exception, if it was even possible, she seemed even more affectionate than usual. Maybe it wasn't extra affection... Tatsuki watched the two of them carefully. His mother's movements were scrupulous, repetitve, but scrupulous nonetheless. Like he was a fracturable piece of china, and if she made the wrong move, or didn't give him enough love, he would shatter right infront of her.

Finally when it was over, after Masaki dispersedly asked him - "Are you sure you'll be alright?" five times (Tatsuki counted), Ichigo grabbed his lunch and ushered Tatsuki to follow him out the door.

"You came?" Ichigo asked, shoving his hands into his pockets as they began walking down the street. "You wouldn't even look at me the day before yesterday."

"You're mother called and asked me to walk you to school. She said you really needed it. Regardless of whether I've been upset with you or not, Ichigo, I will always be there when you need me." Tatsuki assured. "Though, honestly, I wasn't mad at you - I was _afraid _of you."

Ichigo turned his head away from her and offered no response.

"I know that sounds kind of cruel. But with all the ghosts and the monsters, all of that stuff, I'd always felt like you weren't supposed to be able to see that stuff. It was unfair that you could see into that world because it always was intruding on your life. Then I saw you in Orihime's apartment, your eyes were glowing blue, I knew you were about to do something. I'm still not sure what you were about to do. But it struck me that, perhaps you weren't so much of a victim in all of it as I had always thought. You are very much an integrated part of it all, aren't you?"

"That's right, Tatsuki." He replied, quietly. "I'm not even human anymore."

"But you were, at some point then?" She asked carefully.

"I was, I was_ special_, but I was human." His voice was wistful. Then he snorted, "People change, I guess. That's just how it is."

"If you're not human, what are you?" She asked. But he had been taken away by some thought, his eyes were distant and he didn't seem to have registered her question. She watched as he was overtaken by a wave of distress, which he quickly buried his face in his hands to hide, till it either wore off or he managed to conceal it again.

Tatsuki picked a pit of leaf out of his hair that his mother had missed. "Now that that's out of the way, what happened yesterday? You looks like you slept in a tree."

"Oh," Ichigo wrung his hands and looked up at the sky. "I was rejected."

Tatsuki looked at him curiosly. "Rejected? In what sense?"

"A love confession." He admitted, a little embarassedly. His cheeks tinged pink, but his face was still somber.

"Seriously?" Tatsuki exclaimed, a little too loudly. She hadn't even been aware that he _liked_ someone. "To who?!"

"That's classified." He replied.

She glared at him hard. "You wont tell me who?"

He kind of shrugged. "I haven't decided if I'm going to or not."

She just frowned but seemed to accept it, at least for now. "Alright then, what happened?"

Again, he shrugged. "Ummm...well...I said 'I love you' and I pleaded like a baby, she said that I was a monster. A horrible monster! So I ran away..." He laughed sadly at this. "I don't how I could have been so stupid. I don't know how I could have thought that she might feel the same way."

"A monster?" Tatsuki gasped. "She really said that?"

"I am, though..." Ichigo quickly rubbed at his face, as though he could scrub away all signs of misery. "You understand, Tatsuki. What you saw at Orihime's was only just the tip of the iceberg. She has seen everything that I can do, and everything I am. I thought that she, of all people, accepted me."

"Hmm..." Tatsuki sounded, looking at the ground thoughtfully. "She's not human, is she?"

His face pressed into a smug look. "No, she's not human."

_That's rough, she's not human either, yet he is the monster? _With one arm Tatsuki pulled him into a half-hug. "This is where I'm supposed to tell you not to worry, and that there are plenty of fish in the sea, but really - I have no idea what kind of ocean you're swimming in."

Ichigo managed to chuckle a little at this, but she felt his shoulders slump.

"I don't know what to do anymore," He murmured.

"You've just got to keep truckin' along, keep moving forward, and eventually it wont hurt so bad."

He looked down at his palms, his wrists. His voice was thick with spite. "I don't want to be this way anymore, I'm so tired... so, so tired. People are afraid of me, and those who aren't would be, if they knew. I thought I could live like this and be fine, be happy, because I _wanted_ this. I wanted to be like this, but now it's just so lonely."

Tatsuki frowned. "I'm sorry, Ichigo."

She didn't know what else to offer. The miserable sadness that he seemed to be wading in all morning melted down, and in its place a dark shadow cast over his face as they arrived at the school gates.

xXxXXxXXxXXxXx

Masaki walked up to the gate of Ichigo's school, they'd be getting out in a minute and Masaki wanted to pick him up. There was one other lady waiting there, probably someone's older sister because she was quite young looking. The girl looked up when she approached, her hair was dark and in contrast she had on a wonderful, pink summer dress. Masaki smiled and bowed politely.

"Hello there." Masaki greeted, standing beside the girl. "Are you waiting for someone?"

"Yeah." The girl nodded. "Actually, I think we're waiting for the same person. Your son is in class today, isn't he, Mrs. Kurosaki?"

Masaki peered at the girl curiously, she didn't recognize her. _A friend of his? _She wondered. "Yes, he should be. Might I ask who you are? My apologies but I don't know that we've met."

"I'm sure we know each other very well." The girl sighed, almost depressedly.

_It couldn't be... _Surprise washed over Masaki's face. "You're not... Rukia... are you?"

"That's right." Rukia confirmed.

Masaki was too surprised to find words at first. She never thought she'd ever be able to actually meet Rukia in person. She'd had so many thoughts, so many feelings based around this invisible person; but now that she was tangible. Now that she was tangible those ideas were confusing, they were becoming muddled. She understood (from what she'd read) the reason why she could probably see Rukia now. But she was such a small person, her shoulders were slender and her body was scrawny. Was this person really capable of causing any of the angry feelings she'd practically assigned to her? The tangibility registered in her mind as; this is a person who has thoughts, feelings, and reasons too. "You finally came back! Ichigo will be so happy to see you. He's been waiting."

"We've already talked." Rukia replied shortly. She hadn't been planning on running into his mother, but figured she might as well engage her.

"Really?" She replied. _Seems like he'd be a little more chipper._ "It's great to finally meet you, Rukia. If you two are going to hang out after school, that's fine, just don't keep him past seven, alright?" What she really wanted to do was ask questions, investigate, figure out all the reasons this person did the things she did. But it was impolite. She knew Ichigo had been waiting to see her, she didn't want to scare her away or do anything that might upset him anymore than he was. Perhaps Rukia would be able to help him, like she had before.

"...He wasn't too upset last night, was he?" Rukia inquired hopefully, although she had felt the distant but intense flaring of his reiatsu.

Masaki pursued her lips, regarding this. "Perhaps we should let Tatsuki walk home with him... Would you tell me what happened?"

Rukia was quiet for a moment, struggling with herself. It was reluctant, but she nodded. So the two of them left their area infront of the school gates intrade for a spot a little ways a way that wouldn't be in the flood of children. Rukia shuffled her feet, she somehow seemed to become smaller. "You know how sometimes you don't know what to say, and all the wrong stuff comes out? Yesterday, Ichigo and I talked, I said some pretty harsh... some really harsh things to him. I came here to pick him up because I wanted to apologize. I went too far..."

Masaki didn't know how to respond, quite frankly she didn't like the idea of someone telling her child really harsh things. Then she thought of last night, how Isshin (who she had only seen cry maybe three times) was on the verge of crying just from the loneliness being emitted by their son. She took a deep breath and tried to not feel the outrage that alit inside her.

"Yesterday, he told me that he loves me," Rukia looked up at the sky, unable to look his mother in the eyes. "I was scared, I was too scared to tell him. I only end up hurting people who get close to me. I hurt him because I was too scared to be honest with him..."

"I should have told him that I feel the same way, that _I love him_." Rukia shot Masaki a look, pleading deeply for understanding. "I know it's wrong, I know I shouldn't. He's a human... and not just that, he's just a kid! It's awful, I'm sorry, I know that it is awful. But at the same time, he is so much more than just a kid!"

Masaki still offered nothing - she was at a loss for words.

Rukia had to look away again, her hands grasped at the front of her dress. "But that's why... that's why I couldn't stand being around him anymore. I couldn't bare to see him like that again, _so lifeless._ Wondering, hour after hour, if he was going to pull through, praying that he would live... I couldn't do that to him, and he would do it again, you know him, you must know that he would do it all again. But he deserves so much better than me, than a life like that. He deserves a life!"

"Wait - What are you talking about?" Masaki cut in, sternly.

"He never did tell you, did he?" She should have figured this, he had never intended to tell his parents. "When I took him to the Soul Society, Aizen came after me. Ichigo protected me, when I should have been protecting him, and he fought Aizen. He fought with Aizen... and he nearly died because of it. I didn't want something like that to happen to him again, I didn't want to see him hurt again because of me. But I still hurt him! I tore him apart, and I left that _thing_ to pick up the pieces." At this point tears began to run down her cheeks. "I knew if I told him the truth it would be impossible to keep him away, safely away."

"Why are _you _crying?" Masaki asked, her voice shaking with anger. "Why do you get to cry? You hurt him! You're the one who made the choice to hurt him! What are you doing, sitting around feeling sorry for yourself? Is that fair? Is that fair at all?!"

"I -" Rukia started, but Masaki cut her off.

"You have no right! You selfish little..." She quickly caught herself, even though she was fuming. "I don't like you, I have never really liked you, Rukia. But if what you've told me is the truth than what are you sitting around for? I don't approve any of it, you've been cruel to him, but I cannot imagine living in a world where Ichigo hates you! Go tell him the truth, _now!_"

Rukia nodded, and she turned to leave, in the next moment found herself on her knees. She looked up at the sky, petrified.

Masaki looked up at the sky too, but she didn't see anything worth noting.

"What is it?" She asked.

Rukia gulped soundlessly for a moment, before she managed, "Aizen."

**Chapter End**


	6. A Monster

**Chapter 6; A Monster**

It was sunny today. The heat bore down on those below it with no mercy, warning them the summer time was here. Beneath this wrathfull sunlight the pair of middle school students were walking home. Ichigo had not been able to pay attention at all in school, he hadn't really cared to. He was hardly paying attention now, as Tatsuki rambled on about unimportant things. It was for his sake, he knew that, she was trying to offer him something mundane to think about. But it was obviously not helping, he wouldn't engage her. Rather he'd developed a lost sort of look with his eyes plastered ahead.

"I'm sorry, that I was afraid of you." She attempted, hoping to reign his attention back in.

He kept his eyes ahead, and only offered; "It's to be expected."

"It's going to be your birthday soon." Tatsuki said, but that got now response.

"So... how about... what do you want to be, when you grow up? You'd mentioned before that you were thinking of being a doctor like your father, but that was a while ago." Tatsuki tried.

"What _can I be_?" He laughed sourly, and she recieved a shot of annoyance. "That's enough, I don't want to talk about myself anymore."

Tatsuki cringed at the bitterness that seemed to glow in his eyes. This was an Ichigo she wasn't sure how to deal with, when he was really upset he'd often become unresponsive, but it was always a desperate sadness that enshrouded him. Never had she seen him so biting and angry.

"It's okay to feel upset, it really is." Tatuski coaxed. "I'm sure that it hurts, really hurts, but you also have to remember that it's not the end of the world. You're going to be alright."

"How could you know something like that?!" He spat, angrily at her. "You don't know what it's like to be so different, you belong in this world. I don't belong ANYWHERE. I'm a monster, don't you understand that?!"

Then the haughty annoyance fell off his face, seconds before Ichigo pulled her into a tight hug. The unexpected motion surprised Tatsuki, but she returned the gesture. Perhaps what he had really needed was a hug. _How come I haven't noticed it until now? He's gotten taller than me. _Then she realized that he was trembling.

"Keep an eye on everyone for me, okay?" He struggled to keep his voice steady.

"Ichigo?" She asked, concernedly. Tatsuki shoved herself out of his arms so she could see his face, but he was staring up at the sky above her, his eyes wiped blank with fright. "What is it, Ichigo? What do you see? Is it a hollow?"

Ichigo gaped soundlessly as panels of sky sealed themselves back together, almost like a zipper pulled them together into their interlocked state. Right infront of where the sky had been exposing the dark Garganta, in a flurrel of white-clothed glory stood none other then Aizen himself.

If you could imagine what if felt like in an instant to have the devil standing before you, gently whispering into your ear that you were about to die. That death would be wretchingly painful. And that you weren't allowed to run, or scream. That for the love of everything in your life you must keep bravely pushing ahead. Then you could understand how he suddenly felt in that moment, as dramatic as it sounded he had always felt that if he were to fight Aizen again before he considered himself prepared that his chances of getting lucky and actually living were slim to none. _He _had survived in his first battle with Aizen, died in the second... it felt like fate was against him.

_Why did he have to show up now? Why did he have to show up here? _He lowered his vision back down to Tatsuki, and tried to plaster on a convincing, calm front. "Tatsuki, go ahead without me. I'll meet you at my place, kay?" _Tatsuki's in danger. I've got to get her out of here._

Tatsuki shook her head. _Keep an eye on everyone...? _Like he'd decided in that moment that he wasn't going to be able to do it himself. "No, please, Ichigo..."

_Everybody around here's in danger. I can't just ignore this. I've got to do something before he decides to! _He glowered at her. "Hurry, go. I promise- I will meet you there."

"I'm not leaving you, Ichigo. If there's danger, let's go together-" He cut her off.

"I swear to God, don't do this to me! Run, damn it! I have to go, now! I don't want to hurt you but if you don't get out of here I can't garuntee I wont." With so much fear and frustration.

Tatsuki shook her head. "How could I possibly listen to that when you've got that look on your face?!"

Pained, Ichigo closed his eyes and turned away. He had to give up, there was no longer anytime to waste convincing her . _I don't know if I can hold it back._ He grabbed his wrist and began undoing the black band. _There's an ocean inside of me, that's been growing and growing. I can live underneath the pressure, but I don't know who else can. If I undo these, that ocean will flood out... if I do that Tatsuki might drown in that ocean... But if I don't I can't really fight, can I? But I can't get out of my body either...not with out something, so can I even fight? ...maybe...yes, maybe that'll work. At the very least it's worth a shot. _In a low voice, as he undid the second band, he said. "I'm sorry if you get hurt, I'll try to hold it back as best I can... Good-bye, Tatsuki."

_Maybe if I can force that ocean, between my soul and my body, I can use it to force my soul out._The bands fell to the ground, as expected there was a vast amount of reiatsu that was ready to spill out. With every bit of focus he had he redirected the force. Inorder to accomplish something like this someone would have to know where their body and their soul connect, Ichigo was perhaps the only one, or one of the few, that knew where it was. Or at least how to access it. So with his own force of will he poured the ocean into that tiny crevice.

When he took off those black wristbands that he'd worn everyday for the past two years the wind began swirling around them. At least what she thought was wind, of course not realizing it was a whirlwind of pressure being released from his soul. The so-called wind got faster and faster... and somehow heavier. _What in the world?! What's happening? _It became heavier and heavier. Until it felt as if her breath was stolen away. _What the hell, Ichigo?!_ Then suddenly the pressure burst, tossing her backwards as it whiplashed past her. Tatsuki tumbled down the sidewalk several feet.

There was complaint from her body when she moved but she pointedly ignored it. Tatsuki pushed up just in time to see his body sway and crumble limply to the ground. "Ichigo?!"

She ran to his side, that strange whirlwind was gone. He was just laying there in some akward and uncomfortable looking position. Tatsuki shook him, staring frightfully at his blank eyes. "Ichigo?" _What... just... happened? _He didn't move, didn't budge. Trembling, Tatsuki picked up the black bands that now laid on the ground, wondering what their purpose was- because removing them certainly did something. She looked around, an idea stricking her. "A-are you there?"

And he was. Freed from his body Ichigo took a second to make sure that Tatsuki came out alright. _Thank goodness, the harm was minimal. There's still so much built up inside of me that just wants to explode. _"I'll leave it to you then, Tatsuki."

Ichigo refocused his attention upwards to the figure standing in the sky. _Aizen._ He shivered, but regardless he grabbed the large butcher knife of a sword off his back and propelled himself up into the sky.

Aizen watched his arrival with an amused smile. "Ah, the little shinigami! You managed to survive after last time, and you still come back for more."

Ichigo manifested enough friction to stop himself at Aizen's level. "Aizen." He growled. "I will make you regret setting foot in my town, Aizen!"

He merely laughed at the threat. "You don't truly believe you can stop me, you're shaking where you stand! You realize how lucky you were to live after the last time. The shinigami that has my Hougyoku, that Kuchiki Rukia, are you trying to protect her again? Even though you know you'll die?"

"Rukia... the people in the city, all of it. This is my territory, Aizen! And I will not allow your filthy hands to destroy my precious things! I will stand against you and I will defeat you no matter what it takes!" Ichigo allowed the rest of that build up of reiatsu to unflurrel around him, cracking at the sky threateningly. His glaring eyes danced with the brilliant blue flashes, filled with such a potent anger. He didn't want to fight Aizen, whose power was horribly frightening, but at the same time he hated the man so incredibly much.

This was the man who destroyed _His _Everything.

"I assume you understand why I'm here then." The traitor of a captain said in his cold, nonchalant tone.

"Of course."

Another smile cracked. "And you'll stop me?"

"Of course."

"I would like to see you try."

xXXxXXxXXx

"Listen to me, girls, this is very important! Ichigo needs Daddy's help, so I've got hurry and go help him. I need you two to sit here! Do not get down from this table until Mommy gets home! If you can do that for me we can have ice cream for dinner tonight! Okay, but you cannot, absolutely cannot get down until Mommy gets home. Unless the house is burning down or something... but otherwise don't move! Alright?!"

The twins looked at their father a little frightened but nodded their heads assuredly. Isshin swiftly kissed each of them on the head and sat them in a chair. "I'm sorry about this you two, but this is very important."

Isshin left as quickly as he could get out the door. Because if Aizen was here he knew exactly what that meant; he knew his son wouldn't hesitate to try to stop him, and he knew that Aizen wouldn't hesitate to kill his son. Even though it was bad parenting to leave young children home alone, there couldn't have exsisted a better excuse to do it.

He ran out onto the street, and Tatsuki was down the road, trying to carry Ichigo's body.

"Mr. Kurosaki!" Tatsuki shouted, frantic and pleading.

"I know!" He shouted back, not daring to stop. "I've got to go help him! Please watch my girls for me, I'll give you a hundred dollars an hour or whatever, just please stay with them until Masaki get's home! The clinic door is unlocked, and there's a house key in the top drawer of my desk!" Without another word he was out of sight, racing down the street as fast as he possibly could.

Tatsuki just stared after him. _What the heck is going on, Ichigo? _She slumped his body by the front door while she retrieved the key, then came around and dragged it into the house. Tatsuki hefted Ichigo's limp body over to their couch, it was relieving to finally put it down. He had been growing bigger lately, and apparently he'd gotten heavier since the last time she had to drag him home. _And he wonders why I worry so much about him_...

"Don't worry, Tatsuki. He's fine, I'm sure he'll be home soon. Daddy went to help him, you know?" Yuzu cooed from the table.

"But, Yuzu... if Daddy had to go then Ichi-nii might be in trouble, you know? Daddy seemed worried." Karin argued.

"Shhhh! I was trying to comfort Tatsuki-chan! I think she's scared."

"Scared?" Karin pouted. "I'm scared too. What if those monsters got him?"

"Daddy wont let the monsters do anything to him." Yuzu stated, struggling to coax everyone.

Tatsuki joined the girls at the table. Apparently his family was more exposed to his reality than she thought he would've allowed them to be, none of them regarded the body she'd dragged home as being him. She clutched her hands tightly, because she was scared, but she tried to step up as the brave one. "That's right, you're father wont let anything bad happen to Ichigo."

"ISSHIN! ISSHIN!" Masaki burst through the front. She looked almost as terrified as Ichigo had been. "ISSHIN!" There were tears running from her eyes, as she scanned the room and her eyes fell on her son's empty body which was curled up on the couch. Masaki melted to her knees, "Oh, God! My baby! He's really out there!"

Tatsuki clenched her teeth, usually she would think of this as his mother's over-reacting, but she'd seen Ichigo earlier and this seemed pretty reasonable if it was as serious as he seemed to think. Tatsuki moved over to the hysterical woman, attempting to comfort her. "Mr. Kurosaki went to help him."

She rocked herself, hugging her body as she did so. "Aizen, oh, dear God! Not Aizen."

"It's okay, Mrs. Kurosaki. His father will help him, right? He'll be okay." Tatsuki tried to console her.

Masaki looked up at her in horror, "But it's Aizen." With that she continued to sob for several minutes, by the time she was able to regain control, the twins had their arms wrapped around her in a tight hug and they too were crying. She scooped both of them into her arms and hugged them tightly to her chest, as she tried to piece together composure.

"Ichi-nii is not alright, is he?" Yuzu whimpered.

"We've got to pray for brother, and for Daddy, okay?" Masaki ushered, her voice cracking. The girls closed their eyes tightly, Tatsuki even followed the gesture. "Please, God, help them to be alright. Return them both home to us safely."

"Did Big Brother get kidnapped again, Mommy?" Karin squeaked. "Did someone take him?"

"Well... someone is trying to." Masaki replied softly

"Daddy said he was gonna help him though," Yuzu offered with a tad bit of hope in her voice.

"I wish they would just leave Big Brother alone!" Karin shouted, she clambered off her mother's lap and kicked at the wall. "If they'd just leave him alone, he wouldn't be so sad all the time! Why can't they just let him be? Is it because of his super powers?"

"Yes, Karin, that's right. There is a very bad villian that Ichigo is fighting right now." Masaki agreed.

"I wish Big Brother didn't have stupid super powers," Karin bellowed, her frustration evident. "If he didn't have them the monsters and villains would leave him alone."

Masaki scooped Karin back up before she could kick the wall again. "I know, it's hard. I'm sorry, Darling. Sometimes I feel that way too. But the thing is... that he doesn't want to... because then the monsters and the villains would go after people who didn't have any powers at all. Those people wouldn't be able to fight."

"Because he's a super hero, he's got responsibility, doesn't he?" Yuzu sighed, sounding very old for a moment.

"Yes, he does."

"But Ichi-nii is just a kid. It's not fair, why does it have to be him?" Karin grumbled.

Masaki stood up, with a girl in either arm. "Fate, I suppose. Your brother has a kind heart, and it takes someone like that to be a super hero. It's really hard on him sometimes, so we've got to be supportive of him, we've got to always make sure he knows how much we love him."

She set them on the couch, rubbed their heads, and gave each of them a kiss on the forehead. Then she took Ichigo's body and carried it up the stairs.

xXxXXxXXxXXxXx

Ichigo tried to wipe the dirt off his face, smearing the blood from his hands in its place, and pushed himself, wobbling, to his feet. Aizen had dodged around Ichigo's sword with ease for several minutes, and then landed a kick himself which had plummeted Ichigo into the street below.

"Look at yourself, you poor, pathetic little thing." Aizen smirked from above him. "You know that you can not stand up against me, you know it's hopeless, but you're so stubborn. It's just like last time we fought, will you not stop getting in my way until I leave you mangled in a ditch, are you going to make me go that far before you'll stop trying? The only reason you're alive right now is not because you were strong enough the last time, it's just because the Gotei 13 got in the way of making sure you'd been put down."

Ichigo ground his teeth, and propelled himself up after the man. The two of them danced around, exchanging guarded blows. He could feel how every swing of Aizen's sword felt merly like the flick of his wrist. Aizen wasn't even really trying, he was just amused. He knew that at any moment Aizen would get bored of playing with him, and then what? He could keep up now, for the most part, it was trying to be careful that was dragging him down. He was trying to keep things reasonably contained because he didn't want anyone below them getting hurt. So he couldn't use his Getsuga, he couldn't use much power at all.

There was a moment where he moved to counter act with a Getsuga, instinct from his battles with Shiro. He caught himself before he released it, but in that moment of hesitant confusion Aizen laid a gash across his upper arm. Ichigo winced, but was able to block the following attack.

Aizen caught him glance down warly at the city below, and he chuckled. "You stupid little boy! You wont even use your attack on me, because of those people down there, and yet you think that you can win!"

Ichigo tried to use his moment of laughter, and flash stepped behind Aizen, intent on stabbing him up through the back. Aizen dodged and allowed Ichigo to chase him around for a little bit.

"Alright then," Aizen stopped, deciding he was done playing around. "Should I just kill you then?"

"Are you honestly asking me that?" Ichigo replied smugly. He sucked in a deep breath, things were about to get serious and he willed his senses to stay sharp. Ichigo swung the butcher knife blade out infront of him. The trailing white cloth wrapped his arm.

"BANKAI!" Ichigo bellowed in a voice that was both dark and strong. It rumbled with the lashing of black reiatsu that engulfed him, then he emerged transformed. The thin, black katana shimmered as he swung it confidently about.

The battle sped up, sounded by the continual clanging of metal. _Ching! Ching! Ching! _Blocking, dodging, countering all in a blurry swirl of motion. Aizen effortlessly kept up with him, even pushed him to the fullest extent of that sped. They blazed across the sky of Karakura in colored streaks of reiatsu.

Their blades caught, and they were stationary in the air, pushing for dominance. Ichigo overcame and forced his sword up, leaving Aizen momentarily open. It would be expected for him to take the opening, to move forward in a vertical slice. But instead he released a Getsuga, in a quick, arching movement. It was a trick he'd learned from fighting with Shiro. He registered it as a mistake as soon as he fired the attack, his mind having got too swept up in the battle. Aizen managed to catch onto the attack with his zanpakutou, it seared his hands as he redirected it downwards

_No, no, no! _Ichigo flashed, the fastest he could manage, and headed off the Getsuga from hitting the ground. He appeared beneath it, and blocked with Zangetsu's black blade. It hit, and most of it dispersed, but the force of it pummeled him into the street. The asphalt shattered beneath like it was glass.

Ichigo dragged himself up, he was sure he could hear Aizen's mocking laughter above him. He shot an upwards glare as he brushed off the debris.

"Shiro-kun? I can't do this by myself. Please, Shiro-kun, I know I broke the pact, but please. This one last time, please help me." Ichigo requested aloud.

_"You're pathetic," _ The hollow's voice wrang coldly in his head. _"This is what you wanted, isn't it? You wanted to die, and now your wish can come true. Get up there and let him butcher you then, you worthless brat."_

"But he'll hurt everyone if I don't stop him."

_"You think I care about that? I don't care if he hurts Rukia, or your family, or any other little human." _It scoffed._ "What were you even thinking? If you weren't alive today, and Aizen came, he would've killed Rukia. He would've taken the Hyougoku, and everyone in this town would be swallowed up by it. You would not be there to stand in the way, you wouldn't be able to protect anyone!"_

"I didn't think about that, I wasn't thinking about Aizen. I was hurting, Shiro-kun, I wasn't thinking about anything, I was just hurting. It is so awfully human, and I don't expect you to understand, but that doesn't mean I don't care about anyone anymore. I will fight Aizen, I will protect everyone, not matter what it takes." He stated, and as he did knew he didn't have anymore time to sit there and talk. If he didn't keep Aizen occcupied he would turn his attention elsewhere. He ignored his body's complaint and climbed back up into the sky.

xXxXXxXXxXXxXXxXx

Tatsuki was sitting at the table in the Kurosaki's dining room, she rubbed face in frustration. The little girls were watching some show in the living room, trying to content themselves with it, and Masaki was in the kitchen. It felt like the air itself was heavy with the weight of wondering. What was happening now? Was Ichigo okay? Was he going to be okay?

Masaki handed her a hot mug of tea, her face was blotchy and tear-streaked. "Has he ever told you what's going on?"

"Um... kind of." Tatsuki replied, trying to pull her mind away from distressing thoughts. "He's told me about the hollows, and he's told me about the ghosts, but there are things that he refuses to discuss."

"Well, Tatsuki-chan, I'm sorry if I frightened you earlier, but this really is a serious matter. What happened there, the king of hollows came. He's trying to get something from Rukia." Masaki attempted to explain as she sat herself down across from Tatsuki.

"Rukia? She's a ghost, isn't she?" Tatsuki remembered writing to her in the sand, she had helped get Ichigo back.

Masaki took a long sip of her tea. "Yes, she's a shinigami actually."

"I didn't think that shinigami exsisted, but I guess I shouldn't be so surprised." Tatsuki sighed.

"Well, that's..." Masaki paused a moment, trying to decide if she was accurate in saying this. It was like, she knew this as a very obvious fact, and yet somehow had not accepted it as reality. "That's what Ichigo is."

Tatsuki stared very hard at Masaki, taking a moment to fully understand. _A shinigami... _She knew he'd mentioned shinigami before, when was it? After he'd gotten home, and fallen into that distanced sort of depression, when she tried to get him to talk about things he was so mad because... (she tried hard to remember) because, he said, his father is a shinigami. She had passed it off as one of his strange offbeat responses. But if shinigami were real, then it all made sense in a weird sort of way. Ichigo was the child of a human and a shinigami, that was what made him so different and strange.

Tatsuki chugged half her tea, not registering how hot it was. Then stared at the wall, trying to remember every offbeat thing he'd ever said, anything he'd allowed her to know from the strangeness of his life, to see if (with this new information) they somehow made sense now too.

"He's never mentioned that before?" Masaki asked, she figured either way that Tatsuki deserved to be aware of the situation.

"Not ever directly," Tatsuki almost laughed, inspite of the situation. "So Ichigo is a shinigami, and Mr. Kurosaki went to help because he's also a shinigami, and they're trying to help Rukia and defeat the King of the Hollows."

"Yes, that pretty much sums it up." Masaki decided.

The slight smile fell of Tatsuki's face, recalling how Ichigo had reacted. "This Aizen, he's very powerful, isn't he?"

Masaki scrunched up her face, and it was obvious she was trying very hard to not cry again. She managed a nod, before she inevitably broke down sobbing. Having learned what had happened last time he'd faced Aizen made it all harder.

"She doesn't deserve him protecting her life like this," Masaki sneered, very wrathfully for a moment. Then she shook her head at herself, retracting the statement. "No... no...that's not fair."

"But if he... if he..." She didn't dare finish the thought aloud. "Because of this. Then I'll... I'll...!" Her words were not very comprehensive, but her eyes became intense with fear and fury at the thought. _If he dies because of this, I will kill her myself, _was the sentiment that kept ringing through her head, even as she tried to assert to herself it was insensible.

Tatsuki felt herself begin to cry too, she had wanted to since he hugged her, and now she couldn't seem to stop it any longer. _Keep an eye on everyone for me, okay?_ She pressed her face into her hands.

xXxXXxXXxXx

"What do you think you can accomplish with that?" Aizen mocked as Ichigo manifested the friction to stand in the sky across from him. "You're going to defeat me? No! You're going to defeat yourself if you carry on in this manner."

"Shut up," Ichigo growled. He took a deep breath, and re-engaged in the high speed battle. They rumbled together, Ichigo found a little mercy from Aizen's now burnt hands. It made it more difficult for Aizen to manuvuer his sword, but as soon as he realized he was lacking, he quickly compensated. Aizen's zanpakutou clashed against his, harder and faster, as the ex-captain fought through the fact that he'd actually been injured. The tip of Aizen's sword knicked him once, twice... three times before they repelled, distancing themselves for a moment to breathe and recuperate.

Ichigo panted, wiping the sweat off his forehead. If Aizen wanted to get away from him for a moment he was going to have to take the opportunity to rest a moment, although he wished he had the energy to keep at it.

"Ichigo!" He heard his name called from below. He stole a glance down to find his father, in full shinigami robes and sword drawn, climbing up the sky to him. Ichigo moved his attention back to Aizen, inwardly rolling his eyes in annoyance.

"Dad, you shouldn't be here." He stated coldly as his father arrived beside him. Another liability, another distraction.

"Why is Aizen alive?! You told us he was dead!" Isshin shouted, frantically.

_I don't have time for this right now. _Ichigo strengthened his grip on Zangetsu's hilt. "I lied."

"You said he was executed!"

"I lied!"

"Everything with the Soul Society?! Everything you said that happened?!"

Ichigo took a deep breath, wishing he didn't have to deal with this right now of all times. "It was all a lie, okay?! Do you know why I lied to you, Dad? Did you know that I was as good as dead? Did you know I had to fight him, and he tore me to pieces."

Isshin stared at his son dumbfoundedly, a guilt beginning to boil up from deep inside him. He had of course been the one to give permission for that little trip to Soul Society.

"I - I lied to you, Dad, yeah." Wrinkles creased his face, somber with the fact that had still been torturing him for almost two years. It made him seem several years older. "I killed people, Dad, six men... Do you see? Do understand, why I lied? No matter what, you guys couldn't know that stuff. You've gotta see it, you've gotta know how you and Mom would react to that stuff. You read the notebook, all that kind of stuff - that is what my life has become. Fighting, hollows, regrets," He shook his head. "I'm in sooo much danger, all the time, so it's like I lie about everything now. Because you guys couldn't handle knowing that. I'm just tired, Dad... I'm so... so tired..."

Never since he'd gotten that notebook, had Ichigo let his feeling be so outwardly expressed. All of that misery, that had always been kept only between himself and his hollow, was allowed to show on his face. This was a deep imploring for help from his father. But he didn't give his father a chance to respond, it frightened him too much to wait for it. He redirected all those feelings into resentment for Aizen, which he used to propell another onslaught of attacks.

Maybe he gave this plea for help because his father had promised him that he wouldn't have to be in this alone anymore, so he would burden him. _Alright then, _he took a deep breath admist dodging kicks. _If this is the rest of my time, then I must it devote to the cause of my being - I must protect them. _He blinked away the tears that had tried to form on his eyelids, as he attempted to counter a jab. The sword knicked his hip, tearing the flesh and the cloth.

Ichigo didn't bat an eye at it, as he flashed behind Aizen. The two danced across the sky in this manner, too fast at times to be seen.

_"Why does it seem so obvious to you that you're going to die?" _The hollow's voice at last sounded again his head, admist the battle. It was unamussed but not harsh, as it was earlier.

"You know why," Ichigo replied under his breath as he came out of a long winded shun-po. He barely stopped himself from cutting into his father's side, he hadn't realized Isshin had joined the battle. Without a word, he rearranged himself for a different attack plan while Isshin traded blows with Aizen.

_"None of that is of any consequence, and you know it - you're just afraid." _

"I am afraid." Ichigo agreed.

_"That's only a problem if you let it be," _It said. "_You are powerful, don't forget that, you've trained very hard this last year. We can defeat him. We can win."_

"You'll help me then?"

_"If we die, we die together, Ou-chan." _The hollow's replied had a chilling ring. _"Though, you can't have her anymore, not after that."_

"You don't think I realize that?" Ichigo snapped, irritated that he found his father in the way, again, of a hit that could've landed. That he was engaged in a conversation the others weren't privy to was now obvious, so he continued in a less hushed voice even as he participated in the fight. "It's not possible anymore. But I will protect her, even if she hates me, I'm not going to just stand around and allow her to get hurt."

The bought waned, and then they seperated for a moment. It was not like Aizen needed to take a break, this was child's play, but he seemed willing to allow it.

"I'm not used to fighting with others. Please, Dad, you're just getting in my way." Ichigo stated, urgent and frustrated.

"I'm not leaving you alone," Isshin quickly rejected.

"Then help me by containing the battle. I have to use everything I've got if there is going to be any chance of me winning, and I can't above town like this without risking people's lives."

"Got it, I'll make sure nothing hits the town." Isshin assured.

"I will try to draw him away from the city. Don't let anything distract you, I can move pretty fast." Ichigo turned back towards Aizen.

"I've got your back, Ichigo, I'm not going anywhere."

He saw the tenseness of Ichigo's shoulders soften, if only slightly.

"Thanks," Then in a flash he was gone.

xXxXx

Ichigo had been fighting for what felt like a long time, but he was so fast in his Bankai that, as far as he knew, it had only been ten minutes. He had recieved several cuts up his arms from attacks he had not fully been able to block. He was out of breath, too out of breath for Aizen to still be unwounded. Aizen moved forward again, just as fast, blade raised. He secretly wished that he could take a break, even it was just for a moment. But he didn't dare to admit that, even to himself, this early on in the game.

But the exhuastion finally caught up to him, and he stumbled backwards. It was effecting his movements. A gash was sliced up arm as payment for the pause.

_"You are more capable than you were last time you fought him. You know how to fight now. You know how to use your power - and you know that you are powerful." _Shiro encouraged. _"We can take him, Ou-chan."_

"Yes," Ichigo replied out loud. Somehow, it seemed true.

"Already so tired?" Aizen laughed, he shoved Zangetsu to the side with such force that it was knocked loose from Ichigo's hand and caught him by the throat. Grinning, Aizen lifted him into the air in a choking hold. "I told you that you wouldn't ever forget." He inclined his head towards the boy's ear. "You still remember the people you killed, don't you? Shame it's over so soon, I'm sure you would've loved to see them again."

Ichigo smiled, confidence seemed to seep into him. "I am far from finished."

"Is that right?" His fist clenched, crushing the boy's throat.

Ichigo couldn't breathe. _Shiro... _Black flames of reiatsu errupted around his body as he drew forward his power.

Aizen watched him, intrigued as to what he was trying.

Zangetsu shuddered from where it was tumbling down towards the ground. Ichigo reached towards it. The sword halted, changed course, and flew back into his hand, and in a fluid stroke he sliced into Aizen's arm. Ichigo was released as he retracted his arm, the blood ran down and left a spattered stain on the white cloth.

"_Let go of your humanity," _The hollow urged. _"Accept what you truly are, and completely let go."_

Ichigo nodded. He closed his eyes and concentrated. _I'm not human. _He told himself, forced himself to accept. He obeyed, and somehow found out how to completely give up the idea that he was human. By now the idea wasn't too hard to accept, although he had so long instictively clung to it. It was a hard pill to swallow for sure, but he'd spent the past two years or so on that so that when he did finally force himself to accept it the idea began to seem ridiculous. Why would he consider himself a human, when he so clearly wasn't? When he was this! This horrifying and yet wonderful thing.

_He _had always held onto it. _He _would've never let it go, not ever.

_**"He**__**was afraid."**_In unison the two stated, the reverberating, hollowish voice poured from his lips. Inside it felt dark and cold... it almost felt as if Shiro were standing by his side. In a way it felt freeing, as if his entire body sighed in relief. No more barries, no more internally seperating itself.

The black and yellow had whelmed up in his eyes, they were piercing and hollowfied. When he met Aizen's gaze, he caught a moment of veiled surprise.

_**"I will defeat you, Aizen." **_He asserted, swinging and spinning his blade with a new sense of ease. He abandoned all hesitancy, and he threw himself forth into a new sort of combat where things like technique and strategy (which had never been his strong suites anyway) were thrown aside for a storm of blade and physical attacks that could only be comprehended in the second they happened. As he fought, he changed. It began long before he understood what was happening to him, his body had begun to hollowfy. His fingers became sharp claws, his feet grew through his tabi, shredding them as they also became monsterous, clawed things. His skin became white in color, his hair unfurreled down his back. It was so that, the next moment he paused long enough to be seen, the horned mask was already forming across his face.

Aizen managed to expel him backwards through the air.

"Is this your true form then?" He asked, stopping a moment to look Ichigo up and down. He seemed almost delighted.

Black reiatsu crackled menacingly across the sky, Ichigo glowered dangerously at the man before him. He felt himself howl, without thinking about it much, in screeching hollow battle cry.

Aizen's voice was as cold and malicent as ever. He outstretched his hand towards the boy whose mere figure held just as much mailce. "Shakkahou." Not one, but for red balls shot out in succesion. Bare handed, Ichigo caught one in each hand and flung them back at the treacherous captain just in time to catch the other two. They sizzled against his skin, yet he felt nothing from it. He, or more like they combinedly, pressed the red balls of energy together so it was twice as big, twice as powerful. And then he was gone, for a second not even Aizen could see him.

Then Aizen felt the heat on his back and he turned just in time to get out of the way of the large Shakkahou, it missed him but burnt his clothes as they passed and alit his sleeve on fire.

"Hadou no Roku-Jyuu-San, Raikouhou!" Aizen exclaimed, trying to buy time to put out the fire. A bolt of lightening shot down and slammed Ichigo down into the street below.

For the second time that day he clambered away from the giant shards of asphalt and prepared to shoot back up into the sky.

"Ichigo," His name was called in a horrified whisper that, although quiet, seemed to ripple through the air around him. Ichigo glanced behind him, and he watched her, watched Rukia, shudder as their eyes met. That moment filled him with dejection, and it was as though he shoved Shiro away from him - his hollowness wavered.

_"Don't push the power away," _The hollow cried. _"She hates you, don't let her tear you down Ou-chan."_

The hollow was right. She didn't deserve the gravity she had over him. He sank back into that dark energy and let some of that heavy reiatsu flicker threateningly at the air around him.

_**"If you're going to be here, don't avert your eyes, not even for a second." **_His cold voice reverberated through the air, it was more than a hollowness in the way he spoke; it sounded as though two voices spoke at once. _**"Pay attention, stay out of my way, and do not allow yourself to get caught in the crossfire. Or better yet, why don't you just get the hell out of here."**_

Then he left her standing there on the ground. He moved like some creature, not anything like she'd seen before. He was agile and seemingly weightless, his every movement was at the speed of shunpo. Her eyes could hardly follow him.

Admist the emptiness of the sky again, Ichigo continued the fight.

Aizen made a stab at him. Ichigo jumped, landing crouched on Kyouka Suigetsu's blade. His foot shot out, slamming into Aizen's stomach. The ex-captain stumbled backwards, but regained his footing in time to block Zangetsu from hacking off his head.

_She hates me. She hates me. _The thought repeated like a mantra, over and over. _She can't even stand to look at me._ Until it became too painful, too distracting, that he allowed himself to let go. To slip away so that he was barely even conscious and he _was_ the monster, thinking evil thoughts about the way he going to destroy his prey. Not even just defeat him, but completely degrade the man until he was nothing but a pile of shattered, smoldering bones. With that the hollow hole swelled open in his chest.

xXxXXxXXxXx

Rukia could feel the pain in his reiatsu, she could feel it last night too, even when he was far off. It was her fault. Why did she have to get at him like that? Why couldn't she have just thumped him upside the head (for being as gravely clingy as he was), and then admit to him that she didn't know what to do with herself.

She was racing towards him now, up towards the battle. Yes, it was perhaps stupid, but she had to try to fix the hurt she had caused him. She feared the intensity of it, and if she couldn't fix it then surely he might allow that _thing_ to swallow him up as a way to escape from it.

Rukia reached the height of the battle, a longer climb for her then it had been for Ichigo earlier.

Ichigo was aggresively moving between defending and pursuing. Then he saw her there, out of the corner of his eyes, and the sight of her seemed to draw him back out to where he was aware again. He only had a second before Aizen went for her, and as he blocked the way Aizen silently fired a Soukatsui. Ichigo deflected it with Zangetsu, but it burnt his hand.

"Ichigo...?" Rukia squeaked, praying he was still there.

Ichigo glared at her with his vibrant yellow eyes.

"Yesterday, what you said - " He cut her off.

He growled, shaking his hand to null the pain. _**"I don't have time for that."**_

Then he turned to Aizen.

_**"Excuse me a second," **_He said. Then he caught her up and, before Aizen could go after her again, they both were gone.

From being so close to him in this state her body was shaking, his reiatsu was intensly hollow, it felt as if his energy itself wanted to devour her. Suddenly it was as though all the air was stolen from her lungs... and then it was over, they were on the ground.

Ichigo dropped her onto the asphalt by were Isshin stood watching attentively. _**"You're getting in my way. Get out of here, Rukia. Go back to the Soul Society."**_

"No," Rukia quickly responded. She noted that he wouldn't look at her.

_**"Your presence is annoying, stay out of my way. There is no reason you should worry about me; I will win."**_

"I'll keep an eye on her," Isshin stated. Ichigo's yellow eyes shifted over to him.

_**"Thank you, Dad." **_Then with that he was gone again, his presence becoming more of a thundering in the sky above.

"You should've listened the first time he told you to stay out of it, now he's mad." Isshin lightly scolded Rukia.

"Aren't you worried about him? He's your son, isn't he? How can you stand not doing anything?! That's Aizen he's fighting!" Rukia shouted back.

"Battles are also full of personal struggles. When we fight we also deal with our morals, with our resolve, and things like that. So far in this fight alone he has made a lot of progress. You may not think he can win, but he certainly does. He's grown a lot since you left, he's not just a little kid. Look at him; he knows what he's doing, and he believes in himself. This has become a personal battle, before and now Aizen is the one that's destroying everything Ichigo has tried to protect. Aizen defeated Ichigo before he lost his memories so maybe he feels he must prove to himself that he can protect the things important to him. So the best we can do for him right now is to be there for him when he needs us. I won't allow him to die, but I must allow him to grow. Perhaps you should do the same... especially considering that you are probably the thing he wants to protect the most. It must be aggravating the way you keep putting yourself in danger." Isshin lectured.

She understood what he was saying, and it sort of reminded her of something her captain would've said. Rukia looked at him, even if he was speaking to her his eyes were locked on the continuing battle. "It doesn't bother you... seeing him like that? It worries me..."

"Of course not." He replied as if the answer was the most obvious answer in the world. "It's not like it came as a surprise, you read that notebook of his, didn't you? I knew what he was like... plus the feel of hollow in his reiatsu has been increasing more and more. That'd be worrisome but you heard; it's still Ichigo. It's always still been Ichigo, so what kind of father would I be if seeing my son bothered me?"

Rukia stared, her mouth agape. "But he talks to that thing... it tells him what to do. Even if it's Ichigo that thing is still controlling things. Shouldn't you be concerned about that?"

"I must ask you not to hate the hollow part of Ichigo. My son is a Vaizard, becoming a Vaizard is an irreversable process. By detesting or wanting him to detest his hollow side you're asking him to hate a part of himself. He can't change it, there's really nothing he can do about it so all it does is make him hate himself."

"He can fight it, can't he? There must be something he can do, even if he can't get rid of it. He's becoming a hollow. If he simply accepts it eventually all that is shinigami will be gone." Rukia argued.

"To fight it would mean a lifetime of struggle over his body, over his sanity, over everything." He didn't sound angry, but he did sound protective. "I'm glad he could accept it. The only thing we should do is trust him not to be completely consumed by those raw instincts."

"Trust him?" She reitterated. _Can I simply trust in him? ...It's not like that stupid hollow was even the problem in the first place, yet seeing him like that was... disturbing. And to have him fight with Aizen, especially after last time, how can I not be worried? With those piercing yellow eyes, how can I not be frightened? I wonder if yesterday I hadn't rejected him if he would've done this; how then would he behave in the situation? Heck, how would things have gone from there?_

xXxXXxXXxXXxXx

_I want to kill him. I really really want to_ _kill him. Tear him limb from limb... _A lust for violence and destruction, an intense want to kill rose up in him. He knew it was the hollow, but at the same time it wasn't; it was his emotions, his thoughts. It was he who was feeling that way, not Shiro. Whatever, it didn't really matter where it came from, as long as Aizen died everything would be fine.

The ex-captain sensed his murderous intent, it made him smile. Aizen was the first to make a move, placing his hand on his zanpakutou. "You may have gained more power, but we both know that you have no chance against my zanpakutou."

_**"Perhaps." **_Ichigo... or rather him and his hollow said, for when they spoke they spoke in unison. _**"We just won't allow you to release it**_**."**

"What a brave claim." Aizen commented, he drew the blade up, poised to release.

_Please protect everyone down there, Dad. I'm going to completely __**give into these feelings**__._Ichigo thought as he moved in towards his enemy. In a second he was infront of Aizen with his blade against Aizen's stomach with full intent to cut it open. But Aizen wasn't that slow.

He sank back into that place where he was the monster. It was not like Shiro was taking over, but more like he no longer exsisted at all as something 'seperate'. It seemed to almost occur in waves, and eventually he'd find himself again admist the dark thoughts. He'd remember that he had a name, that he was not just this beast, and that there was a reason he wanted this man dead other than for game. Once he came around, he always wondered why he had allowed himself to forget in the first place. But it was becoming easier to stay in that space than have his humanity at the surface because as the monster he was indifferent to the pain. As the monster there wasn't any thinking, there was just constant, violent action.

_You're losing yourself, _the thought occured to him.

And he thought back, _it's easier this way._

_Yes, it is. But when that man is dead, what then? _Some better part of him thought, but it wasn't like he was talking to Shiro. He was talking to himself.

_I don't care, _it was that aching part of himself, the part that wanted so desperately to die last night.

_It matters. It matters. _The thought followed him, pushed him, up out of the darkness till he was fully control and aware. His hand moved to the hole in his chest, not having noticed it before, he fingered the rim with curiosity. His eyes moved back to Aizen, who was covered in several laserations and was gripping at a new wound on his hip.

Aizen's eyes were hard, he was no longer amused. The boy had been interesting, and at first it had been fun playing their little game of tag. But it had been fun because Aizen knew that he was untouchable. Now that he knew he'd been wrong, well, he wanted to get his prize and leave.

"I'm done with this," Aizen stated darkly, then he was gone.

Ichigo's eyes darted around, watching intently for him to appear. He was sure Aizen meant to land a finishing blow, but the scream that soon followed told him otherwise. Aizen had appeared right infront of Rukia, he scrunged up the front of her shihakushou within his hand. He reached into his own white garb and pulled out a small purple cylinder.

_**"No!" **_Ichigo growled furiously. Aizen had her. Ichigo could feel his blood boiling. _He can't have her, or his stupid orb. _It wasn't as though he wasn't charged up or reckless already but he practically threw himself at Aizen. _Aizen! Aizen... I want to kill him... _Faster than he'd ever moved Ichigo reclaimed her. He grabbed the back of her shihakushou as he barreled past them, as he did so he planted his zanpakutou into Aizen's arm. The ex-captain grabbed his left leg as he tried to leave.

"Don't think I'd let you just run away, boy." Aizen stated, and when Ichigo looked down at him there was no fear in his eyes, as Aizen had expected, at being caught. All there was was hate and rage that burned like bonfires in his yellow eyes. With Zangetsu in one hand and Rukia in the other Ichigo didn't hesitate to attack him. With his free foot he made an attempt to kick Aizen in the face. Aizen dodged this and grabbed that leg as well. He tugged Ichigo down through the air. Ichigo drove his sword towards the ex-captain, no restraint; he aimed right for the heart. Aizen released his legs inorder to dodge. Ichigo quickly jumped back.

The two glared at each other, then the distance between them closed as Aizen manifested infront of him and the fighting continued. They shot together up, high above the clouds, and like lightening shot into the side of the forested mountain.

"Give her to me," Aizen demanded, they were both pulling themselves out of the dust crater they'd made.

Ichigo didn' bother responding, but drew his sword up to block. It was just as well he had because in that moment Aizen was infront of him again. They moved as a dangerous rumble through the trees, Ichigo keeping Rukia hugged to his side. Aizen was intently after the arm that held her, and finally landed a hard kick. The bones in his lower arm bowed, shuddered, and reverberated with a crack. He struggled to keep his grip on her but the weight made his arm flare angrily. It slowed him down too much, he couldn't keep up with Aizen and keep holding her, so he casted her aside and devoted himself to gaurding her.

Rukia pushed herself to her knees, shaking from speed and the violence of his reiatsu. She saw the two of them fight infront of her, Ichigo almost as tall as Aizen in his hollowfied state. Ichigo was fighting fiercly to obstruct the distance between Aizen and herself.

Aizen caught him by the head and; _WHAM! _Slammed him backwards into the ground. In the same moment he raised his zanpakutou and plunged it deep into Ichigo's abdomen.

"No..." Rukia breathed, watching Ichigo writhe, trying to get at the sword that now pinned him to the ground. Then in a flash, two flashes, she was high above Karakura again.

Ichigo's hands tugged desperately on the sword, the blade cutting into his palms the harder he tried till his hands and the blade were both covered with blood. He managed a glance over, Rukia was gone. _NO!_ He gripped the blade feircly, gritted his teeth, and pulled it out. He rolled over, hacking, as it clattered beside him. Then, before he was even able to stand up, he forced himself into a upward shun-po.

xXxXx

Aizen's hand was scaled and green, he had Rukia outstretched in his other hand. He reached towards her chest and the skin there parted in allowance. But the hole that it opened was empty. Aizen stared for a long moment, before withdrawing his hand. Her chest closed back up as though nothing had happened.

"It's gone," Aizen said, dumbly. Then his face filled with anger, as he had not showed before. "Where did you put it?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Rukia spat.

Isshin appeared behind them, his sword already arching through the air towards Aizen. But Aizen was angry, swift, and unmerciful. He grabbed Isshin's blade, yanked it from his hands, and used it to slash deeply across Rukia's stomach all in what seemed like a single motion. He dropped Rukia as he turned and rammed his knee into Isshin's side. Isshin doubled over, but fought against the pain because he knew another blow would be coming if he couldn't pay attention.

Ichigo was still climbing up towards the sky. He pressed his hand against the wound in his abdomen, trying to regain his focus admist his acent. He failed to register, at first, her body plummeting past him. In the next second, when he did understand (his mind begged him to welcome the rest of unconsciousness) it was too late to catch her.

_**"Dad!" **_Ichigo shouted frantically.

"Go! I've got this, I'll be fine." Isshin reassured. Ichigo nodded graciously and in a flash he was gone, bolting downwards after her.

He landed on the ground where she had fallen, and quickly located her crumbled form sprawled across some thorny bushes. He scooped her up and gently laid her down on the leaf-covered ground, then he kneeled down beside her.

_**"Rukia?!" **_Ichigo shook her gently. Blood began running down the black of her shihakushou, and pooling along her side from the wound in her abdomen. Her eyes remained closed. _**"Open your eyes, Rukia, you have to stay awake. Rukia!"**_

She stirred with a moan, and her eyes flickered open, unable to see anything at first but the green light of the woods.

_**"You're hurt,"**_ She heard him say in that chilling, reviberating voice.

_Yes, _she agreed mentally, feeling undefineable agony coming from her torso. She gained enough focus that she could see him, those yellow eyes somehow menacing yet filled with affection and concern. Then his demonic mask and his body came into focus as well, and her eyes darted away. She did not want to look at him.

_How sad,_ her thoughts cried, _how sad for him, that you can't even stand to look at him anymore!_

_**"Rukia?"**_ He asked, urging her to stay concsious. With his claws he carefully brushed the hair out of her face.

Rukia forced herself to look back up into his cold, dark eyes. Her hand reached up and traced down his chest, where the shihakushou was loosely open, to the gapping hole in the middle. "Oh, Ichigo... Have you given your heart to that _thing_?"

_**"Not all of it." **_He muttered in response, staring down at his own hollowfied body. His voice still shook with hollow intensity._**"But most of it. If you don't like it, I can make it go away for now." **_He reached up to the skull-like mask on his head and expelled the thing in a swirl of dark reiatsu. Without it his eyes remained their chilling yellow on black color, but she could better see his face. His orange mess of hair had gotten longer in the back and flurreled down past his shoulders.

_"You're hurt badly," _He stated, incredibly less hollow, although that under current was still there. Slowly, he was pushing those feelings - that energy away and he could feel his hollow (politely?) sinking back with it. He reached out to her, and by the time he grabbed her arm those hollow claws and returned to his small human hand.

Her hand fell back down. "We need to do something, I'm losing too much blood." Her voice was feeble.

He couldn't heal. He knew that was a painful truth. But he did what he could. He tore off his top and took the white under part of his shihakushou. The fabric was tough but desperation let his fingers rip it into strips that he hurriedly wrapped around the wound in her torso. He checked her pulse... the beat was low.He wiped some of the sweat, blood, and tears off his face. _"I've got to take you to Urahara."_

"...You...you have to heal me...I'm loosing too much blood." Rukia told him, her eyes pleading.

_"I can't, I'll have to take to you Urahara," _He asserted.

"Just a little bit... you have to stop the bleeding, you can't move me like this, it'll be too much."

_"B-but, I can't! I can't do it... I don't know how to use kidou, I've never used it in my life!" _He exclaimed.

"Try it!" She demanded harshly. "You must try it."

Unwillingly he tried to focus himself, he followed her stammered instructions until the palm of his hands were glowing with a deep red color that matched the liquid oozing from her abdomen, then he placed them on her over the wound and tried to focus the healing intent into her. With that Rukia's body went rigid and a muffled scream escaped her lips as the malevolent reiatsu barreled through her body. Tears began pouring down his face. _"I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."_

"...you...have to... do it...again..."

_"No, no, no. I can't do it! I can't do it!"_ His eyes pleaded her not to ask it of him but she persisted.

"...once more...stop the bleeding...you have to...Ichigo..."

Giving in, again he focused his reiatsu. He willed it to work. He willed it to heal. He closed his eyes and again he pressed his red palms to her wound. Again her scream filled his ears. He quickly pulled his hands back. _"It's impossible for someone like me to heal someone like you! Hollows cannot heal shinigami."_

Rukia groaned, it left her body shivering. _What now...? _She asked herself.

_"Dad. My Dad, he could do it. Hang on, he can be here in a minute," _Ichigo moved to stand up when Rukia caught onto his wrist. They stared at each other intensely as she tried to find her words.

"I... I don't hate you...I could never hate you." She sputtered, she had to do it now, incase they never saw each other again.

_"Rukia, not now," _He stated impatiently, pulling on his wrist. He didn't want to deal with this _now_, there was already too much going on.

"It has to be now!" She cried in rejection, and then cringed at the pain it caused her. He sank back down, concernedly, but he still shook his head at her, not wanting to hear what she was going to say. "I was afraid, not just afraid of that _thing_ but also of my own feelings... I didn't know what to do with myself because really... When you said _'I love you' _I really wish... I really wish I would've just said _'I love you too'_."

A darkness came across his face, he firmly removed her hand from his wrist and stood up.

_**"Don't screw with me. I don't need you to do that." **_He stated coldly, his voice become thick with the hollowish current. _**"I don't need you to pretend like you feel that way." **_He was falling, falling back into that power like it was a safety net. His skin paled, and the red markings became vivid around the hole in his chest. He reeled back, wanting to escape all the emotions it evoked, and in order to do so he quickly dettached himself.

"Ichigo... Ichigo..." She called, her eyes were filled with tears but they were warm. "I'm sorry, I've been so mean to you, and I'm sorry. I was trying to push you away... I thought it was better if you hated me... I didn't know how to deal with it, but I'm telling the truth...it's not some guilt thing... Ichigo, _I love you_."

Ichigo clutched his head and screamed a rugged, painful cry, as if her words physically wounded him. Yesterday morning, he would've welcomed it, but now it only hurt all over again. _**"STOP IT!"**_

A deep silence followed, and he realized that the world around him had turned monochromatic, even Rukia. Ichigo looked up, yes, the trees, the sky, it was all black and white. Nothing else moved, as if it were all frozen. Then out of the trees materialized the most handsome person he'd ever seen. His hair was a light silver color and he wore a pristine white suite. He looked to be in his forties. There was something welcoming and calming about his presence.

"That's not so easy to hear now, is it?" The man stated, his voice was some how soothing. Ichigo didn't recoil as the man grabbed his shoulder, but instead felt the anger leave him. "It has been a while, Kurosaki Ichigo."

"Can you help me?" Ichigo asked, as though his being there had been expected. "I still just... just want her to be okay."

"Fear not, she will be fine." The man replied.

"Can you heal her?" His response was weak - he couldn't.

This was Kami, this was God, he somehow understood that. "Not I."

Instinctively, somehow, he turned back towards the trees. Their leaves were still as the breeze no longer blew. All was still. Stumbling over the now black tinted undergrowth a young girl emerged.

"Orihime?" Ichigo was shocked by her arrival.

Orihime looked surprised as well. "Ichigo? My God, are you alright!?"

"Why can she see me?" He turned to God and asked, pettrified.

"You are the one who exposed her." Kami replied simply. "It was your choice."

"But... I didn't..." Ichigo trailed off, deciding he would have to dismiss this for now.

"You're bleeding." Orihime stated a bit dumbfoundedly. "We have to get you to the hospital, Ichigo... what happened? Mister... what happened?"

"I'm alright, Orihime." Ichigo stepped in, she clearly wasn't even sure why she was there. "Would you help my friend? She needs you more than I do." Ichigo inclined to Rukia's monochromatic body.

Orihime had failed to notice it, most probably because it was the same color as everything else. She dropped down on the other side of Rukia. For a moment she gawked before finding her words. "How am I supposed to help her?"

Kami made no move to respond so Ichigo went ahead.

"Say Souten Kisshun, I reject." Ichigo told her.

"Souten Kisshun?" Orihime asked. "Why?"

"You told me that you didn't think I was human. Well, Orihime, you were right; I'm not human. You wouldn't like to know what I am, it would frighten you. That is why I'm a bloody mess. This man who brought you here, this is Kami-sama. We both know lots of things about the world that other people don't know. Like we both know that deep inside of you there is a special power. Now, my friend really needs that power, and you're the only one that can use it. So please, Orihime, do this for me? Just try? I don't want to lose her."

"Alright." Orihime nodded. _He's depending on me to do this for him. _"Souten Kisshun, I reject!"

Two lights streaked out from her hair pin, they formed a barrier of light around Rukia's monotone body. Orihime gasped in surprise. "I did that?"

"Yes, good job!" Ichigo smiled, finally feeling his body relax.

She stared in awe as Rukia's skin and clothing began putting itself back together. "Wow."

"Thank you, both of you." Ichigo stood up. "Since she'll be alright I'd better get back, I'm sure Aizen misses me by now."

"Sit down and relax a moment." Kami demanded. "You've fought long and hard. Nothing is going to happen because time itself is currently frozen. Take this chance to rest your weary soul."

"Alright, thank you." He didn't know much else to do but listen.

"You've done me a great favor." Kami began. "Your work isn't finished yet, but as thank you for everything, if you wish I will give them back to you. If you want... I will give you back your memories."

Ichigo stared at the man in disbelief.

"I suspect that you've found them by now."

Ichigo nodded, still too surprised to find his words.

"I will give you the key to unlock them," Here he offered Ichigo his hand. Ichigo took it and a furrel of green light went between their arms. "Just lay your hand on the barrier and it will open for you."

Kami let go, and Ichigo stared down at his palm.

"You don't have your memories?" Orihime's voice cut in, sounding extremely sympathetic and almost unphased by the strangeness of the situation.

"Yes, I took six years worth of memories from your friend. He is working for me and it was the only way he could do what needed to be done." Kami told her in a gentle tone.

"You work for God?! Then that means you really are an angel!" Orihime squealed in delight.

Ichigo smiled, a little sheepishly. "Thanks."

He stood up and stared at the gray sky, breathing deeply, he found a sense of inner calm. He closed his eyes, and drank up that feeling that the monochrome colors, that God, seemed to offer. "It's time for me to finish this, I have to get this over with."

"Are you sure you're ready to get back out there?" Kami asked.

"As ready as I will ever be." Ichigo replied.

"Good luck." Kami stated, before his form faded away. The colors seemed to seep back into the world, and it was just the three of them; Ichigo, Orihime, and Rukia.

Rukia was in an incomprehensive, groggy state as though heavily drugged. Her eyes met Ichigo's momentarily, the expression there undefineable but no longer so broken and angry. Then without another word he was gone, away in the static flash that resembled sonido more closely than shun-po.

**Chapter End**


	7. Demon or Child

**Chapter 7; Demon or Child?**

"You exposed her, didn't you?" Ichigo was shooting, like a bullet, up into the sky.

_"I did," _The hollow replied. _"I felt it was a worthy investment."_

"You went behind my back," He said, sternly. "But it saved Rukia's life, and for that I am thankful."

He arrived just in time, his father was cut all up his body, panting heavily. If he had been a little later, Isshin might not have made it. It occured to him that it had been cruel, in a way, to expect his father to fend off Aizen for him. His father's powers were stale and rusty, he was not in a state to fight someone that Ichigo was struggling against.

Isshin tried not to look so grateful that his son was back. "Is she alright?"

"She'll be fine." Ichigo replied. "I've got this now, Dad. You need to go get yourself some help."

"No." Isshin grunted. His son met him with a steady, strong gaze.

"We can't both go home looking like this. I'm going to need your help with Mom, I don't want her freaking out when I get home. You're going to have to tell her what's happened, and you can't do it like that. See if Urahara can heal you."

"No." Isshin repeated, holding his breath so that he wouldn't pant.

"Please, Dad, I can handle this." He let black reiatsu to expell from his body, as it once again reached its fully hollowfied state. White particles appeared, and began forming the horned mask over his face. _**"Look at me, Dad. You have got to trust me on this."**_

Isshin's jaw hardened. "What if you... what if you can't?"

"_**Then we're all screwed. Now get out of here!"**_ With that Ichigo became engaged with Aizen.

xXxXXxXXxXx

The battle raged on, storming about the forested hills. Aizen was not playing around anymore, but Ichigo was keeping up decently enough. The cuts on his palms stung. He was determined not allow his mind to slip this time, and it took a certain amount of his concentration. It would have been easier just to become the unmerciful, unhesitating beast. Numbed to the pain. Driven only by the intent to kill and mutilate. But Rukia and Orihime were down in those woods and the beast would not care about them, he would easily incinerate them before he was aware enough to stop himself.

It was an ugly sort of feeling, the joy he felt everytime he suceeded in landing a blow and he felt his blade rip through flesh and sinew. With each accomplished slash he watched Aizen's white attire become stained red.

The fight crashed down into the woods below. The two opponents both staggered on the ground, but they refused to admit they were worn out. The fight continued, barreling through the trees. Ichigo kicked off a trunk, and it splintered in half from the force. The blades clashed, but the momentum forced Aizen manuvuer to the side in order to fully avoid the attack. Aizen swung down a counter attack, Ichigo caught Aizen's sword arm with his left hand. His intention was to be able to swing an unblocked blow, but the instant he did so - he registered it had been a mistake. His left arm was weak, the bones cracked from when Aizen had kicked it earlier in their fight.

Ichigo continued any how, knowing it was too late to change his attack, and swung the black blade at Aizen. Aizen caught his arm, so that each had the other's sword arm held at an upward, unallowing angle. The bones screamed in shrill pain, his arm shuddered.

Aizen realized the mistake, he allowed his own zanpakutou to fall to the ground, and instead he took ahold of Ichigo's left arm. Aizen slammed his arm against the trunk of the tree, it bowed at the elbow. He slammed it again with a loud _SNAP! _Ichigo howled, furious and beastly. Then the sound seemed to be sucked away for a second. A cero fired from between his horns. Aizen dodged to the left, but Ichigo followed his motion and the cero swept across the hill side, incinerating hundreds of trees. Aizen snatched up his sword and attempted to block the cero but it soon escaped past and burned at his arms and legs. The attack had cleared out a semi-circle of the forest and offered a some-what open battle field.

Ichigo howled again, enraged. He was slipping away again, as the pain faded and the hideous thoughts filled his head.

_It's easier, _His thoughts chorused at him. _It doesn't really matter, does it? It's okay to just let go, it's easier this way._

_**"No," **_Ichigo replied, speaking aloud as he pushed himself back into awareness. _**"No, I can finish it."**_

"Finish it?" Aizen laughed, and there was hysteria in his voice. He stood there bloodied and burnt. "You naive little boy, you think that I am anywhere near finished?!"

A succession of attacks followed as they climbed back into the sky, faster even than before so that even the most skilled beings in the world would've struggled to understand what was happening. But this was a charade, becuase neither had the energy to fight that way for long. It was one last bout.

The speed wavered. Blood splattered down onto trees below from fresh cuts, and old ones.

_It's time to be done with this, _Ichigo understood that he was loosing too much blood, and if he didn't finish it soon he was... well, he was going to die. So he flashed right infront of Aizen, even knowing how exposed he was leaving himself, he drove his zanpakutou deep into the man's chest. Even as he did this his body was shocked his pain, Aizen had impaled him as well.

"You little brat," Aizen heaved, blood began running down his chin. Then he actually managed to laugh a little. "You have so much potential, you are worth so much more than being that woman's keeper."

The horned mask began to crumble off of Ichigo's face, he held Aizen's gaze as the light slowly began to fade from the man's eyes. Then he pulled his sword out and Aizen tumbled down through the air. Ichigo pulled the blade out of his abdomen, wiped the blood from his chin, and descended to the earth as well.

Ichigo landed, stumbling, hardly able to keep himself upright. His right hand tightly clutched the upper portion of his left arm, trying to keep it still because it throbbed with every little movement. He stared at Aizen's crumbled form, waiting for some sign of movement, some sign of life that would tell him he had to keep going. But there was nothing, not a hint of reiatsu left in the treacherous man. The hollowfied body receded as he dragged himself, unstable, over to the man's body. With each step he took he seemed to fade more into normalcy. His long orange mane sunk back to its original length. His pale, monsterous features faded back into that scrawny eleven year-old body. _He's dead... he's dead... _Ichigo assured himself, his legs gave out, he fell to his knees and then crashed forward onto the ground.

_We did it, Ou-chan, we did it. _The hollow reassured. His body throbbed painfully with each heartbeat, the ground beneath him and his shihakushou were slowly growing sticky and red.

"Thank you," Ichigo whispered, before allowing him mind to slip away into darkness.

Isshin appeared in a static flash, and scrambled over to his son. He wriggled his arms carefully under his son's body and hoisted him up, Ichigo's broken arm dangling awkward and mangled. Moments before he had been a powerful beast, both terrifying and magnificent, now that he was a boy again he looked so small and vulnerable. He was breathing, but it was shallow.

With his son craddled in his arms, Isshin shun-poed off again, in the direction of Urahara's shoten.

xXxXXxXXxXx

The sun was beginning to set, darkening to Kurosaki household. The twins were asleep on the couch, exhausted from the emotional strain, and the television still buzzed on quietly to no one. Masaki was in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, watching the clock tick away the minutes. It had been several hours now, and she was watching, only half-aware, to see how many more were going to go by.

The front door of the Kurosaki house flew open with a loud bang that almost seemed to shake the house. Isshin entered, not bothering to shut the door behind him. Masaki flew into his arms.

"Oh, Thank God!" She cried, her hands clinging to him desperately. "Thank God, you're alright!"

Isshin wrapped her in a tight hug and she sobbed into his chest. Then, with a realization, she quickly pulled away to look out the door behind him. "But, Ichigo! Where is Ichigo?! Is he with you? Is he here? Is he alright?"

There was so much joy and enthusiasm in his eyes when he grabbed onto her shoulders and stared into her beautiful brown eyes. "He won!" Isshin exclaimed, with joy clinging to every syllable. "He defeated Aizen!"

Masaki choked down a new round of sobs. "He's alright then, isn't he? Where is he?!"

Isshin hugged her back to him, trying to ebb away all her concern and all of her worry. "He's fine, Masaki, he's fine. I'm going to go back and get him in a minute."

Tatsuki had been wandering aimlessly around the house, and now stood a few feet away, listening. She pressed herself against the wall, overwhelmed with relief. He had made it.

"But, you need to listen to me, Masaki." Isshin began gently. "Ichigo is hurt very badly, they're healing him over at Urahara's right now, but I don't know that they'll be able to do much after they get him stabalized. He wants to come home - "

"Of course he can come home!" Masaki shrieked, more loudly than she had intended.

"Just listen to me, honey." Isshin coaxed. "If I bring him home now, he's still going to be hurt. But you need to try to restrain yourself when you see him. I think this is something that is very difficult for him to ask, to let you see him like that, but at the same time he really needs you after all of that. If you freak out on him when he gets home, I think that he'll shy away from you, from all of us. We have to show him home is a safe place for him, you know how much he hides away from us, we have this chance to show him that we can be supportive."

Masaki nodded, nuzzling back into his chest. "Okay, I understand."

The two stood in the doorway in that manner for the longest time before they allowed themselves to become seperated again.

"I need to get his body," Isshin stated. "And those black bracelet things he always wears."

Tatsuki came forward now, her voice was shaky, as she pulled the bands out of her pocket. "H-here. I've got them."

Isshin took the bands and followed Masaki upstairs to where she had laid his body on his bed. He brushed a couple of rouge strands of hair out of Masaki's face, he kissed her forehead affectionately. "He'll be home soon."

Masaki pressed into him, and he hugged her to him a second time. Her voice was hardly above a whisper. "I was so scared for the two of you."

"We're alright now." Isshin assured. When Masaki finally allowed him to release her, he scooped up Ichigo's body. "We'll be home soon."

xXxXXxXXxXx

After several hours of intensive kidou (he insisted that Orihime keep working with Rukia, even after she stabilized), Ichigo had been brought home. He wasn't able to take anymore kidou, and at that point Orihime had run out of energy so much so that she'd fallen asleep sitting up. So Ichigo lay curled, his head resting on his mother's lap, still trying to calm his shuddering breath. His barrier was down. She stroked his auburn hair with a soft, loving smile. Oh! He could spend an eternity like this. Just to openly have her comfort and affection again, to feel as though she understood...

"I killed him," Ichigo whispered.

Her smile faltered as she replied, "I know."

"I couldn't figure out how else to make him stop, but still it was like I _wanted _to kill him." He admitted, absently rubbing his broken arm, which had been set and casted.

"He was a very bad man... I think we are all better off with him gone."

Ichigo mentally fumbled with his inner darkness, and he frowned. "Do you think that bad men deserve to die?"

"Well, if they're going to just keep on killing people, you've got to stop them one way or another. I don't think it's something you should feel too bad about, think of all the people you saved. You did a good job, you saved the entire world today, Ichigo, you should feel proud."

"I am not much better than he is, Momma." He faltered to a whisper again.

"Oh, don't say that, you are so much better than he is."

"But I will probably keep killing." Ichigo sighed, his hand gripped at her skirt.

"No, no... you're a protecter, remember? You protect everyone in this town, and you fight so hard to make sure of it. You're a hero, Ichigo, not a bad man. You've saved us!" Masaki exclaimed.

Ichigo allowed his eyes to falter shut as she contiued to love on his head. His heart stung, because this was something deep down he'd yearned for. It was pretty selfish, but for now he would enjoy it. To be open with his mother, to have her accept the whole of him, this would be his prize. Even if it was just for now. She knew what had happened - so why try to hide it?

"You've done so well," Masaki whispered to him. It had been difficult for her to restrain her reaction, because even though she knew he'd been healed as much as he could take right now he still came back looking so broken. How bad was he, before they healed him? She shuddered to imagine. But she was glad that she took Isshin's advice and didn't react intensly, because this was the first time since that notebook got into his hands that he had not tried to hide away from her. He didn't grin overtly, and pretend like everything was okay. "You don't have to protect me from it all, okay? Momma can support you. You have fought so hard, haven't you? Everything is going to be alright now."

It wasn't long before he was breathing softly, at last, resting.

xXxXXxXXxXx

Tatsuki had gone home to get an overnight bag together, her parents had given her permission to stay the night. Normally she would not be able to spend the night at a boy's house, but Ichigo was the exception. She entered the Kurosaki household with a great deal of apprehension, from inside the door she could see his father at the dining room table with the twins, eating the ice cream dinner they'd been promised. She could hear his mother singing a lullaby. Surely that meant he was here now. She preceded with caution, dropped her backpack half-mindedly into a chair at the table, and approached the living room. Her eyes caught orange and assured her that yes, he was here. He was resting on his mother's lap as she gently stroked his hair. His body curled on the couch, covered by a blanket so that just his head and arms were visible. There was damage, that was quickly noted, the most obvious being his casted arm.

Yet he smiled softly when he saw her. "Tatsuki. Thank goodness, I didn't hurt you too bad."

She smiled affectionaly back at him, just so happy that really he was there. "You really are frightening."

"Yes, yes." He laughed a little bit at this. Even though he obviously had been hurt, he seemed so much more content than he had earlier that day. "I'm sorry, I didn't know what else to do."

"I'm just glad you made it back," Tatsuki stated.

Ichigo eased himself onto his back, each movement slow and delibrate because his body was beyond sore. He looked up at his mother, his beautiful and precious mother. "Would you sing some more, Mama? You have the most beautiful voice."

Masaki nodded and picked up a soft tune while Ichigo stared up at the white of the ceiling. She stroked his hair and paused to kiss his forehead. Tatsuki watched the two of them, her heart still beating fast and angry, her throat stung. Now, she finally understood what she had always considered his mother's affection overload; he was so utterly precious and the world so cruel.

"I'm sorry that you had to go through that, Mama." He stated, his voice was quiet but there was strength to it.

"No," Maskai shook her head. "No, that is what I should be saying. I'm sorry Ichigo. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I'm sorry that there is nothing more I can do for you. I can't make any of it go away, I can't protect you."

His voice faltered with exhaustion, but the strength was still there. "You don't have to protect me," He smiled a little and his eyes fluttered shut. "I... I defeated Aizen... I can handle myself."

The twins approached cautiously. After initial hugs they'd been kept away from him, but now Isshin was sending them to bed and they wanted to say goodnight.

"Ichi-nii," Yuzu was the first to speak as they arrived beside him. They looked both concerned and scared, and neither made a move to touch him. "Goodnight Ichi-nii."

"Yuzu, Karin." Ichigo pushed himself up, even as his mother told him not to. He folded the blanket back and ushered the girls up onto his lap. Reluctantly, they curled into him. "Don't be afraid, I'm just tired, that's all."

"Daddy said you saved the world," Karin said, clinging to his good arm.

"I suppose I did," He replied, squeezing them as tightly as he could manage. It did hurt a little to have them joistling about on his lap, but it was worth it. "I love you both very much."

"I love you, too." They both said in unison.

Karin pouted up at him, "I was worried about you."

"I'm alright now, I'm going to be just fine." He assured, and they stayed on his lap for a good long while before they began doozing off. Then his father came and took them to bed.

Ichigo lifted himself up to his feet, it had been a couple of hours since he'd used them, and even then his father had helped him walk home. After the adrenaline had left him, movement had become difficult. It had hurt when he was fighting, but the cuts up and down his arms and legs, the stab wound in his stomach, none of that had been enough to stop him. When they had healed them, they'd had to focus on the two stab wounds and leave most of what was left for later. For what was left he had pain medication, which helped a lot. But then there was just how absolutely sore his muscles were from the constant, violent motion. Even with the medication his muscles still ached when he moved.

"You must be hungry," Masaki stated softly, getting up as well. "Why don't I make you something more substantial to eat? I'll make what ever you'd like."

"Curry," He replied. "Curry would be wonderful."

"Alright, honey, if that's what you want. Why don't you rest for a little while and I'll come get you when it's ready."

"I'd like to go to my room for a little while, I don't want to sleep right now though." Ichigo answered.

"That's fine too, do what you feel like, just don't push yourself too hard."

"I won't, Mama."

He went over to the bottom of stairs and stared at them for a long moment, it wasn't going to be easy to climb them. He clambered up the first step with difficulty, and then he stopped himself. _I wont be so prideful, _he decided.

"Dad, could you help me up the stairs please?" Ichigo requested, and he could see his father's surprise at the question.

"Of course," Isshin quickly replied, and rushed over to his son. He supported Ichigo and they climbed up together. At the top he was able to walk himself into the room.

"I owe you, a lot, for all your help today. I couldn't have done it without you." Ichigo admitted, easing himself down onto the edge of the bed.

"Nonesense, you owe me nothing, I'm your father." Isshin stated. "If there's anything that you should do for me, don't stop asking me when you need help, alright?"

Ichigo just nodded to this.

Isshin patted his shoulder with a gruff sort of smile. "You're really something, you know? Well, I'll let you be then." With that he waved himself off.

xXxXXxXXxXXxXx

There was a tapping as Tatsuki peeked her head in. She had tried to give him space, but after half-an-hour she couldn't stand it anymore. "Hey there, would you mind a little company?"

"Not at all," Ichigo replied, he was still sitting on the edge of his bed. "I'm sure that you've got a lot of questions."

She slipped into the bedroom, closing the door behind her. "Yes. Although, your mother cleared some things up, Mr. Shinigami."

"She told you that, did she?" He smiled a little bit. "Yes, Tatsuki, I am a shinigami. I wonder if knowing that helps, or adds more confusion?"

"It helped a little bit, I think. It would be more helpful if I understood what that entailed." She lingered half way between his door and his bed.

"Being a shinigami is having certain responsibilities to those who have passed, and having the power to fulfill those responsibilities." He replied, a little vaguely.

"Such as...?" She pressed.

"Killing hollows," After his answer came a hefty sigh, and he moved his good hand up to his head as though it hurt.

Tatsuki observed him carefully, his palms were bandaged. Now that he wasn't under a blanket she could see that most of him was bandaged from where the white cloth either peeked out from or was outlined by his clothes. Even his good arm was wrapped up underneath the sleeve. She wanted so badly to ask things like, 'how did your arm break?' or 'why are your palms bandaged?'. But she knew such questions were insensitve, and did she really want to know the answers?

"So, your mother said... she said you were fighting the King of Hollows?" She asked instead.

"Sorta," He muttered and seemed to become drawn back into focus by the question. "Aizen wasn't a hollow though, he was also a shinigami. One who had done a lot of awful things."

_Was. _Past tense, that would mean this Aizen was dead now, Tatsuki noted. She supposed then that it must've had to go one way or the other, a fight to the death. The thought felt disturbing, both to imagine Ichigo fighting for his life, and to imagine him having to kill someone who held the same sort of exsistence he did.

Ichigo slipped off the bed, finding the will to stand again. He passed Tatsuki for the wall by the door, there he flicked off the light so that the room was dark, then he shuffled over to the window and opened the curtains. The full moon shone brightly overhead and lent an unusual light to the room. He seemed to find comfort in this atmosphere.

Tatsuki hung back as he stared out the window, he seemed to be lost in thought. He pressed his face into the cold of the glass.

"Forgive me, I'm a little dazed." He muttered, not bothering to face her. Slowly, he drew away from the glass and sat down on the bed again.

"I can imagine you would be," She offered.

"There is something I have to talk to you about, Tatsuki." He said in a heavy manner.

"What is it?" Tatsuki asked, she drew a few steps closer to him.

"The man I was fighting, he was after something that Rukia had." Ichigo began, his broken arm resting on his lap. "Rukia is – "

"I know who Rukia is." Tatsuki quickly inserted. "She's the one you confessed to, isn't she?"

Ichigo looked down at his hands, and smiled sadly. "Yes, she is. Anyway, he was after her, and when he found out she didn't have it anymore, he cut her down. I broke my promise Tatsuki, I don't know if you'll be able to forgive me for that..."

"What promise?" She asked, confusedly.

"Rukia was dying," He had to pause a moment to regain the steadiness in his voice. "She was dying, and in that moment Orihime was the only person that could save her. I know I promised you that I wouldn't touch her, but I did. She had the potential of being special in the same way I am, and I awoke that in her. Orihime saved Rukia's life."

Tatsuki stared down at him with a mix of anger, fright, and confusion.

"She can see the kinds of things I can see now," Ichigo continued, cautiously. "She can she spirits, and hollows, she can see me when I'm not in my body."

Tatsuki's foot slammed full force towards him, but he caught it with his good hand. She was crying, "You ruined her life… you ruined Orihime's life for a ghost who called you a monster and broke your heart?"

Ichigo glowered, in the soft light of the moon she could see the warning in his eyes. He released her foot. The feircness faded but his eyes remained dark. "Yes, she hurt me, but I love her and I wasn't about to watch her die."

There was a long silence between them before he finally spoke again, choosing instead to look up at the moon. "That's the best excuse I've got. Honestly, I would have done it for less. I would understand if you hate me for this, I know how important it was to you."

Tatsuki plopped down at his desk and cried.

Ichigo slowly slipped down off the bed so that he sat in the corner where the foot of the bed met the wall. He didn't like hearing Tatsuki cry, but even so he didn't regret it.

After they'd been sitting in the darkness for a long time, Tatsuki had managed to piece herself together. It horrified her, but she couldn't hate him, not Ichigo. She approached where he had tucked himself away in the corner.

He was scowling at the wall, his brow furrowed and his eyes hard. "You don't know how happy I am to be home." His eyes flickered over to her. "I was so sure, at first, he would kill me."

"I can't even imagine what you went through today." Tatsuki replied, observing how much older he looked with that heavy exhaustion set about him. "Even feeling that way, you still went to face him." She couldn't possibly hate him...

"There was nothing else I could've done." He drew his knees up to his chest, but even then he seemed taller than he had that morning. "I don't mean to sound arrogant, but I was the only one around who was powerful enough to stand up to him. I'm not skillful, not really, but I am very powerful."

"I'm sorry for kicking at you, you didn't deserve that." Tatsuki stated, eyeing his broken arm that he allowed to droop uselessly on the floor beside him. "I just... I just don't want to see Orihime ever to look as scared as you were, I don't want her to have to face that..."

"I swear to you, I will protect her with my life." His eyes blazed with the words.

Tatsuki moved over to where he was sitting by the bed, and sat down beside him. Slowly Ichigo tilted his head so that it rested on her shoulder, she slipped her arm around his shoulder and hugged him to her. She did not doubt his promise. Even slumped against her, accepting the comfort she offered, she realized that although she always viewed him as being more of a child than she was, he was indeed a man. Sure, he was only eleven, but isn't deed more accurate than years? He had saved the world, with the weight of such responsibility, she had to consider him a man.

"Does this mean that she is a shinigami, too?" Tatsuki whispered, it felt wrong to say it too loudly.

"No," He muttered, and then spoke more loudly. "It's not the same. She has a different kind of power, and she doesn't have the same sort of responsibility that a shinigami does."

"What would happen if you did the same sort of thing to me?"

Ichigo lifted his head off her shoulder and looked her hard in the eyes, very seriously. "I'm not going to do that."

"I know," Tatsuki squeaked. "But what would happen, if you did?"

"You'd be able to see ghosts and such, the hollows would come after you. I don't know that you would get any powers, like Orihime did. I only did it to her because I knew exactly what sort of power she was going to get, and I knew she'd be able to defend herself." As he said this, he remembered earlier that day and prayed that being whipped back from his reiatsu hadn't been enough to effect her.

"Dinner's ready," Masaki's voice called through the door.

"I'll be down in a moment," Ichigo called back. Then he looked looked very solemnly at Tatsuki. "Are we alright?"

"Yeah," She breathed. "We're alright. Would you like me to help you with the stairs?"

"Sure," And he smiled again.

xXxXXxXXxXXxXx

The four of them were sitting around the table, enjoying the curry Masaki had prepared. Ichigo was already on his second bowl when there was a knocking at the door.

"I'll get it," Ichigo offered, he set his napkin on the table and hoisted himself up. There was a bit of a hobble to his step that he tried to make not so obvious. He unlatched the lock and opened the door. He had figured, since it was about 10 o'clock now, that whoever it was had probably come for him.

"Ichigo."

"Rukia." He replied simply. She stood there, in a light blue summer dress, although now it was cold outside. They could hear a bustle of movement from the table when his family heard him say this. Ichigo leaned his head tiredly against the door as the two stared at each other intensly. Then he left the door, without another word, and returned to the table. Thus he allowed Rukia to invite herself in, and she did, closing the door behind her.

Masaki bolted to her feet as Rukia entered the dining room area, if she'd had hackles they would have been up, the fire in her eyes seemed to say, 'Don't you take a step closer to him!'

"It's alright, Mom." Ichigo stated, placid and indifferent as he continued eating his meal.

Rukia stood expressionless before the small cast of people. She had wanted to come as soon as she was done, Ichigo had practicaly demanded she get absolutely, completely healed and then get some rest to recuperate. Looking at him, she laughed a little to herself. Clearly no one had pushed the same demand onto him, or perhaps it had simply not been possible to heal him completely tonight.

Tatsuki was stunned to see her there. When she heard it was Rukia at the door, she expected some invisible presence to follow him into the house (do ghosts really knock?!, she had wondered). But she was no ghost, she was very real and very human. She was beautiful, Tatsuki felt - the way her short black hair framed her face, her petite body, and her large purple eyes.

So this, this was Rukia. This was the supposed ghost Ichigo had befriended two years earlier, the one who helped bring him back when he was taken, the one who then whisked him off with the means of repairing his depression. This was the person that Ichigo had fallen in love with, the person who tore his heart out and filled him with a bitter anger Tatsuki had never seen in him before. This was the woman he'd fought to protect (yes, he was protecting everyone, but it was her most specifically, and Tatsuki had the feeling he would've done it all the same if she was the only one in danger). He had changed Orihime, to save this woman's life.

She noticed there wasn't any tensity between the two of them, and it made her really wonder what had occured. What happened out there between these two? He'd been so hurt, so angry, but that seemed gone now. Protecting her from this evil shinigami, had it made things better between them?

"Would you like some curry?" Isshin offered.

"I wanted to see if Ichigo would like to talk," Rukia stated, her eyes on the back of his head.

He didn't. They had seen each other breifly at Urahara's shoten, but he hadn't spoken directly to her since she'd claimed that she loved him. He didn't dare to imagine that her words could have truth to them, because in order to do so he would have to allow himself to be vulnerable to her again. Ichigo held out his empty bowl. "I'd like more, please."

"Yes, of course." Masaki took his bowl and went into the kitchen to dish him up his third helping.

"You can stay, if you like, Rukia," He said, not bothering to turn around. "But, I'm recuperating. I don't want to come talk with you right now."

Rukia sat down, a little awkwardly, at the table. She seemed to accept his answer.

Masaki returned with his bowl and sat down herself.

"Thanks, Mama." Ichigo stated, and began eating. He watched Rukia out of the corner of his eye for a moment. He wasn't sure what to think of her. He thanked the high heavens that she was alive, and he knew that he did indeed still love her. But when he considered what she had said, that she felt the same, his mind went blank. He had almost just crossed that moment out completely in his mind and labeled it as a giant mistake in the script. It would make the story make no sense, because she could not possibly love him, when she hated him so much.

_Maybe she doesn't hate you, maybe that part was the mistake. _The thought occured to him. And he thought, almost thought, for one moment that Shiro had said it.

The thought made him physically cringe.

_It doesn't matter now. _He thought, eating another fork-full of curry. It would all be over soon enough.

xXxXXxXXxXXxXx

"I'll be fine, let's just go slow." Ichigo breathed, and he had a slight limp which gave his gait a sort of offbeat rhythm. But otherwise once he got going he seemed to be able to walk just fine. They were going to get him healed. The invitation had been one that Tatsuki couldn't refuse, especially when he mentioned that it was Orihime who was going to be the one healing him.

Although it was hot, he wore a dark blue, long sleeve shirt to cover up the bandages. He led her to a little shop that she had never seen before, and it was tucked away so much so that she wondered how they expect to ever get a customer.

"Kurosaki-san~" A man sang as they entered, he had a very green attire. "You're just on time."

"Ichigo is fine," He replied.

"And who is this?" Urahara asked, the expression in his shaded eyes was unreadable.

"This is Tatsuki. It's alright, Urahara-san." Ichigo assured. "She knows everything."

"Everything?!" Urahara exclaimed, with a corny sort of knowing grin.

Ichigo rolled his eyes exhaustedly. "Almost everything; enough."

"I would imagine that's more accurate. Now, Orihime-chan got here just a minute ago, she's right down the hall and to the right if you would like to go on ahead." Urahara offered.

"Who is that?" Tatsuki whispered, after they had passed by him.

"Urahara Kisuke," Ichigo replied. "He's also a shinigami."

_How many shinigami are there? _Tatsuki suddenly wondered, but she had no time to ask because the door to the room had been opened and there was a sort of squeal as they entered.

"Good morning!" Orihime exclaimed, jumping to her feet. "Oh, come sit, come sit, Ichigo. You walked all the way, didn't you? You shouldn't push yourself so hard!" It wasn't until after she had gotten Ichigo to sit down, that she acknolwedged Tatsuki.

"Tatsuki, you too." She ushered, not at all surprised by her friend's presence.

Tatsuki sat on the floor, a little ways from Ichigo, and Orihime plopped back down next to her. She felt suddenly so awkward, at first it had seemed like Ichigo (being as strange as he was) was the odd one out, but now she was.

"I was stretching my legs, no harm done." Ichigo assured her.

Orihime was as warm, and kind, and as gentle as ever. "Why don't we start, alright?"

"What are you going to do?" Tatsuki asked.

"Heal him," Orihime replied simply, as though it had been in her nature her whole life to simply wash away damage. "Here, I can show you. Ichigo, may I please see your hands?"

He offered them to her, and she carefully undid the bandages there, revealing a large, nasty slash across each palm. Tatsuki shuddered.

"I imagine that make things difficult," Orihime offered, but she didn't seem quite as bothered by it as Tatsuki was. Orihime held he arms out. "Souten Kisshun, I reject!"

With that the fairies swirled out in sparks of light and formed the orange barrier around Ichigo's hands. It stunned Tatsuki to see the magic of the action, but then she found herself astounded all over again as she watched - first the muscle and then the skin began pulling itself together. Within seven minutes, his hands looked as though nothing had happened to them.

"You see, Tatsuki?" Orihime grinned. "Now, Ichigo, would you please lay back?"

Ichigo slowly eased himself onto his back, resting his broken arm on his stomach, and as he moved the orange barrier stretched around his entire body. It offered a soothing warmth that pulsated through his body, offering complete comfort.

"That's... that's amazing." Tatsuki muttered.

"Thank you," Orihime beamed proudly. "I'll have him all fixed up, you'll see."

"It doesn't bother you... to be like this?" She asked carefully. Her body trembled at the thought, of how devastated she'd felt when he had told her.

"To be like what?" Orihime laughed, giving her a confused look.

"He changed you." Tatsuki stammered. How could she seem so happy? "Do you realize that he's ruined your life, it's not fair, he has put you in all kinds of danger."

"I'm still me, Tatsuki-chan," Orihime crawled over to hug Tatsuki, seeing that she was upset. "He hasn't ruined anything for me. Yesterday, I met God on my way home from school. Together, we watched Ichigo fight. I am nothing less than greatful for the opportunity to help him, after seeing that. Please don't be mad at him, Tatsuki, I don't think that it would be fair. I'm not ruined, I'm still me, and I can help now in ways I couldn't before."

"He's put you in danger, the monsters that go after him will go after you now." Tatsuki tried desperately to wipe the tears off her face.

"As long as Ichigo is around, I don't think I have anything to worry about. Besides, I have the power to fight them too. I'm not nearly as strong as him, but I can protect myself."

Orihime comforted her, and assured her spontaneously for the next hour. Tatsuki tried to allow herself to melt into this strange sort of reality that was building up more and more around her.

From there things seem to drag on a little, all that was left to do was let time go by. Ichigo would fade in and out of sleep, everytime he awoke he felt better than he had before. Tatsuki wandered in and out, and at one point brought Orihime some lunch.

At last the fairies broke away and the orange shield dispersed. One of the spoke, assured he was all done, before they both joined the others in her hair pin. Now that he was finished Tessai came in and helped him take off all the bandages. It was a relief to see very natural, healthy skin underneath. Orihime had showed Tatsuki his palms, but he hadn't wanted her to see the rest of what was under that bandages.

When that was done they removed the cast from his arm and he was able to move and flex it without any pain.

"Haha, look at that!" He exclaimed. "Almost feels better than it did before I broke it!"

Orihime seemed just as excited, she clapped her hands. "Wonderful!"

"Now then, I've got to stretch my legs. Thanks for the hospitality, Urahara-san."

"Don't mention it." The man responded, flipping open the fan that he often carried around.

The three friends exited the little shoten, it was mid-afternoon by now; the sun still full and bright but headed for the horizon.

"Are you going home?" Tatsuki asked.

"Not right away, there's somewhere I want to visit first." He replied. "I'll see ya. Thanks again, Orihime."

"Oh, don't mention it." Orihime grinned in a bubbly manner, although she was exhausted from the energy her new ability took. The two girls watched Ichigo disappear down the street in the opposite direction.

"I like him," Orihime smiled wistfully.

xXxXXxXXxXXxXx

"It's Berry-chan! He's come to visit!" Mashiro called out into the openness of the warehouse. Ichigo was trailing behind her. The Vaizard slowly gathered to greet him. He had only visited once since his hollow had awoken, he'd worried about what they'd think if they knew.

"Ichigo! Hey there, it's been a while." Shinji greeted, patting him on the back. Ichigo had never been a rambunctious child, but now he seemed to exude a deep meekness that wasn't there before.

"Shinji," He wore a small smile. Shinji grabbed his shoulders and looked at him long and hard.

"You've done well," He stated, a sentiment which was chorused by the others. "We are all very proud of you."

"Mind, it was almost over by the time we realized what was going on." Love inserted.

Shinji released him, and he recieved several pats on the back and kind words. Hiyori hung back till the others cleared away, the two looked at each other, and she smiled slyly.

"Welcome home, shorty." She laughed. He was taller than her now, but she still insisted on calling him that. The two hugged as old friends would, they finally broke apart as she ruffled up his hair. She wouldn't admit it, but she had been scared for him. Not only scared because he was up against Aizen Sousuke, but because he had delved so far into those hollow powers.

"I'm not _that short_," He grinned. He knew he was getting tall, but he still played along.

They proceeded downstairs and sat around the small table while Hachigen prepared some tea.

"Looks like you came out of it without much damage," Lisa stated.

"I've just spent nearly five hours being healed. I would have died there with him if my father hadn't come back in time. I think that I was actually hurt more than he was, I just managed to get his heart in that last attack." Ichigo replied, he sighed. "Not that it matters, really. I got him, that's what counts."

"Aizen is dead, we should celebrate!" Hiyori inserted.

"It's Berry-chan's birthday in a couple of days." Mashiro squealed.

"Is it really?" Shinji asked. Ichigo nodded, but showed no excitement for it.

"We could have a 'Congratulations, You Killed Aizen and Have Lived Twelve Years' sort of party." Love chorused.

"I'm not necessarily proud of the fact that I killed him." Ichigo stated darkly. "I don't like killing."

"Sometimes its gotta be done," Shinji offered.

Ichigo took a long sip of his tea, and wrung the black bands that were now safely back on his wrists. "Actually, the main reason for my visit is not necessarily because of my battle, but because I'm going to get my memories back."

xXxXXxXXxXx

It was late and everyone else by now was asleep. He stared out at the moon, now fading from the brilliant, full glow of last night, but still just as beautiful. _It's time, _he decided.

Ichigo pulled the curtain back shut. He allowed himself another minute to stare into the dark of his room, the shapes of things there just barely defineable. Then he lay down and covered himself up with the blanket.

Ichigo sunk back, plunging into his own soul. It was a familiar fall. The blue skyscapers solidified around him, and he was there. The clouds in the sky here were grey and they drizzled ever so slightly. He watched them for a moment, accepting what this meant to him. He turned around to find the hollow, his white counterpart stood gaurdedly infront of the glowing red of the barrier behind which his memories had been sealed.

"Step aside, Shiro-kun." Ichigo demanded, his hand already reaching for the hilt of Zangetsu.

"I won't," The hollow replied as though he had a bad taste in his mouth. He followed the motion of grabbing for his sword. The bandaged tail unwrapped from the blades simultaneously as each was drawn.

**Chapter End**


	8. Why Remember

**Chapter 8; Why Remember**

"Mommy, Mommy!" The twins rang together as they raced down the stairs.

"What's the matter?" Masaki asked, dishing French Toast onto several plates.

"Ichi-nii… he's not waking up." Yuzu pouted.

"Yeah! He's sleeping like a ROCK!" Karin exclaimed.

"Is he?" Masaki inquired, wondering if it was because he wasn't in his body. "Well, let's go ahead without him, and I'll go check on him when we're done."

"He's there." Karin stated, as though reading her mother's mind. "Ichi-nii is there, because… I know because Ichi-nii doesn't breathe like that when he's not there."

"Okay, well, I'll go check on him now then. You girls wait for Daddy before you eat, I'll be back in a few minutes." Masaki washed her hands and hung her apron up on its hook. She was not sure what to expect, she suspected that he was just

sleeping, but her experiences with him had taught her that expectations were fickle.

So she accepted her daughter's concern and went upstairs to check on him. Her guts twisted with anticipation as she opened the door, but she found him lying in his bed, curled up and asleep. She laughed a little bit at herself for worrying and sat beside him on the bed.

"You are one exhausted, little boy, aren't you?" She smiled affectionately, and then she noticed how heavy he was breathing. "Ichigo?"

He was almost panting. Masaki grabbed his shoulders and lightly shook him. "Wake up, Honey, it's just a bad dream. Ichigo, wake up, it's alright. You're alright."

But he didn't stir. Masaki retracted her hands, and then she saw it, at first stunned by the red streaked on her palm. The right shoulder of his pajamas, and the sheet beneath were slowly becoming seeped with blood.

"Isshin," Masaki stated, stunned, her voice barely broke a whisper. "Isshin. ISSHIN! ISSHIN!"

She quickly pulled her son out of bed, nearly stumbled over with him, because he had been growing his weight would have been too heavy for her if she hadn't felt so frantic. Isshin nearly crashed into her in the doorway. He took one glance at his son, took him in his arms, and rushed him downstairs. The girls squeaked worriedly as their brother was carried past them.

"What is wrong with him? What happened?" Masaki choked, watching Isshin place him gently up on an operation table in the clinic.

Isshin began undoing his son's pajamas. "He is in his inner world, you remember from the notebook?"

"Of course I do."

"Well, he's fighting, he has to be."

"Zangetsu… or?"

"I'm not sure. If it's the hollow that he is fighting, it's not a fight for control." Isshin stated, the pajama top was off and he was inspecting a gash across his son's shoulder.

"H-how can you tell?" She stuttered, horrified by the wound.

"If it were a fight for control, then he would be turning into a hollow right now." Isshin cleaned the wound and was applying a bandage when his chest seemed to just rip open on its own – a fresh cut.

Masaki screamed, falling over backwards, as she watched the new wound appear.

"It's okay, Masaki, he'll be okay." Isshin attempted.

"You've got to wake him up. You've got to wake him up from it!" Masaki cried. She had been able to hold it together decently, but now she was crying and she couldn't help it.

"I can't wake him up, he's not asleep." Isshin wiped beads of sweat from his forehead. "I need you to stay here with him for a moment, Dear. Just be here for him, I've got to make a phone call."

Masaki nodded, trying to regain control of her emotions.

xXxXXxXXxXXxXx

Ichigo's hand gripped at the fresh cut across his chest, as it stung. He tried to catch his breath. It was only after hours and hours of practice that he was able to keep up with Shiro at all. How long had they been fighting? It was impossible to tell. Even beyond the gray clouds that covered the sky, there was no sun to offer hint to the time.

Shiro had a gash up his right arm, but he ignored it. _"Are you finished?"_

Ichigo returned his hand to the hilt of Zangetsu. "Only if you're ready to let me through."

_"You're such a baby, Ou-chan." _The hollow rolled his eyes. _"Ya ain't getting near that thing."_

They clashed together again in a rough and accelerated brawl. Shiro pushed him slowly away from the barrier, drawing the fight as far as he could, but Ichigo inevitably always managed to force his way back to the edge of the glowing, red orb. The two fought, chaotic, each obtaining several new scratches and bruises, but nothing severe.

_"We had dreams, Ou-chan! Shoot for the stars, you said. You'll throw it all away because that woman called you a monster?! Where's you resolve!? Does it really all loose its meaning without her?" _Shiro shouted.

The blade came down hard on Ichigo's blade, he shoved it off with effort and moved in for a counter attack.

"What Rukia said..." He was forced to block again. "She was right, though, you know they'd kill me if I ever just showed up in the Soul Society. They would never allow me to be a Captain! I was foolish to think that I could get anywhere. Even in my world, in the human world, I am rejected. How can I get anywhere with my life, Shiro-kun?! I'll be an outcast for the rest of my life, no matter where I go!"

_"So it would be better to throw it all away?" _The hollow snarled. _"What makes you think that _He_ will do any better? Do really think that _He _was so much better than you are, that he'd be able to have all the things that you can't?"_

"I defeated Aizen, I can be done now." He stared desperately into the hollow's yellow eyes. "This is my out, don't you see? It has nothing to do with him being better than me. I'm exhausted of all this. I defeated Aizen, I get to be done. He can deal with all the other crap. Don't you see that?"

_"Of course I see, I know how you think, Ou-chan! I can hear every pathetic thought. You have loved this, loved the power and loved this world. But every time it causes you, or someone else pain, you begin to hate yourself. You hate yourself for wanting it, for needing it. You hate yourself for wanting this life that could kill you, that could hurt your family, that ruins your normality. You hate yourself for liking the feeling of power rushing through your body. You hate yourself for wanting to watch the hollows crumble before you, for watching them disintegrate. Everything you feel, Ou-chan, you always manage to turn it against yourself!" _The hollow shouted. _"It's not exhaustion, it's the mounting self-hatred. You damage yourself, and damage yourself. I can't stand it, it's so pathetic! And at the same time you're so ready to just throw yourself away for everyone else - like you're not worth more than trash! You can't manage the tiniest bit of respect for yourself anymore. That thought - I would die for them, you've turned it into - I want to die for them. Like that's the only way you matter!"_

Ichigo stopped, suddenly finding sense among what the Shiro was saying, he lowered his sword. "You're right, Shiro-kun; I'm my own worst enemy."

Shiro stopped the attack as well. _"As though you owe the world an apology for exsisting."_

"I don't have to apologize to anyone for being like this, for being so different. I am a good person." Ichigo attempted.

"_Of course you don't have to apologize,"_ Shiro threw his own reflection of Zangetsu so that it struck into the side of the building. He was finally getting somewhere. _"Don't feel sorry for existing! Do you realize how frustrating that is, to watch you do that? I know it doesn't help that I'm here... that you're part hollow. But you can't change what you are. You have to own it. You are are Kurosaki Ichigo, and yes, you defeated Aizen. All that means is that you are never allowed to give up. You have made it this far, you have endured scrutiny all your life, you have endured some nasty battles. At this point you are not allowed to just give up."_

"I made it this far..."

_"...you can't just give it up now. That would make all your work, all of your struggle, completely meaningless. You can not give it up now."_

xXxXxXx

"I find it unusual that he would've engaged in this here." Urahara stated, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. Isshin had called him in a bit of a panic, so Urahara came over to see for himself.

"What do you mean?" Isshin asked.

"Usually, if he is planning on fighting in his inner world he finds a secluded space first, somewhere people aren't likely to find him." Urahara replied.

"How would you know that?"

"Because there have been a handful of times where he has come to me and asked to be healed if he'd been damaged too badly. He always claims it's from fighting hollows, but I've watched him enter this state before. He is always very careful about it. As I'm sure you're aware now, he has some kind of working relationship with his inner hollow, and part of that seems to be these battles."

"So… you don't think this is something to worry about?"

Urahara cocked his head to the side in contemplation. "I'm not sure. I feel inclined to think that either he went into his inner world not planning on being this long, or planning on battling. Or that he never intended on going there in the first place – that maybe the hollow pulled him in."

"That's possible?" Isshin muttered the question more just for a response, because he wasn't sure what else to say.

"You were right in thinking that the hollow was not trying to take control, because he would've begun turning into his hollow form by now. But otherwise, I'm not sure what could be the cause of this, we'll just have to wait until his

consciousness surfaces. That being said, I don't think that his life is in any danger. The hollow won't kill him, that would be suicide. I think it's likely he just got caught up in some argument or something. " Urahara placed his hand on Isshin's shoulder, he knew things had been difficult for him lately. "Try to keep in mind he does this all the time, he's just good at hiding it from you."

"Would you like me to heal him now?" Isshin turned to the door way to find the new arrival, a pretty little girl with orange hair tucked back in flower barrettes.

"This is Inoue Orihime," Urahara introduced.

"Yes," Isshin replied, he'd heard that she'd healed Ichigo the day after his fight with Aizen, but he had not been there. "Welcome, and please come in. I cannot thank you enough for what you have done for my son."

Orihime blushed. "It was not a problem. He's my friend, and I just didn't want to see him hurt like that."

She wove through the adults to where Ichigo was laying on the table. Her eyes shown with warmth as she ran her fingers down his face.

"He is so brave, and he fights so hard; this is the least I can do. _Souten Kisshun!_" She declared, and her barrettes began to glow. They unfolded themselves into the fairy-like creatures before forming the healing shield around Ichigo.

xXxXxXx

_"I don't want the memories to come back, Ou-chan." _Shiro seemed to try to smile, almost devilishly, but it wavered with a deep seriousness. "He _will shove me down into the farthest depths of his soul, and try to pretend that I don't exsist. You offered me freedom, and I wont let that be taken away."_

It made sense. Of course he would have his own reasons for this. Then there was a strange tingling. Ichigo looked down at his chest, the gash there was slowly pulliing itself together.

_"You're being healed." _Shiro stated, he stared up at the sky as though he could see into the world outside if he stared hard enough.

Ichigo clenched his jaw. He didn't consider it a good thing, that meant this had already taken way longer than he had anticipated.

_"You really thought you could beat me?" _The hollow laughed, trying to recover from what he considered to be a lapse. _"Silly, Ou-chan, you can't expect to beat me when you lack resolve. You don't really want to go away."_

Ichigo's gaze moved back up to the red of the barrier. "Why would Kami-sama have given me the key, if it's such awful thing for me to do?"

_"How would I know something like that?" _Shiro scoffed. _"That man, that creature, that you call God might have some read on the world the entirety of the world, but I doubt that he understands you the way that I do. He does not hear your every thought, he does not have to endure your emotions. There is no reason to commit yourself to that man's suggestion, you can't expect that he has your best interests at heart."_

"And you do?" Ichigo asked.

The hollow's yellow eyes shimmered with irritation, but he didn't respond.

xXxXXxXXxXx

It only took about twenty minutes for Orihime to completely heal him. There didn't seem to be anymore damage occuring, so now everyone was just waiting.

Rukia had come over to see him, hoping that maybe he would be ready to talk with her, and was surprised to find the commotion at his house. Urahara was there, talking with his parents at the table. The twins were coloring in the living room with the young girl that had healed Rukia the day before. _Orihime, _Rukia mentally reminded herself. She noticed some finished masterpieces laying about the floor, that were quite creative but very obviously lacking rabbits of any kind. She felt briefly tempted to join the girls in the living room.

_No, I've got to talk to Ichigo, _She reminded herself.

"So, where did you say he was again?" Rukia asked the adults at the table.

"He's in the clinic," Isshin replied.

"May I see him?" She asked.

Masaki glowered at her from the other side of the table, because surely this was also her fault somehow. But she said, as nicely as she could; "I'm sure that would be fine."

"Here, I can take you there," Isshin offered.

Masaki jumped to her feet, "I've got it, dear."

She led Rukia out into the clinic and down the hall to the room they had Ichigo in. They had him in one of the clinic's beds, he still had his pajama bottoms on but his chest was bare. Rukia was surprised, after his battle the other day, how completely healthy he looked. Orihime was a powerful healer, that was evident. Masaki checked him over for any new damage, and once satisfied she went to leave.

"I'll be back in a little while to check on him." She said, almost as if it were a warning.

"Alright, Mrs. Kurosaki." Rukia smiled, trying to be polite. His mother was still not happy with her. Of course she wasn't, not after how badly Rukia had hurt him. She had confessed to him during the battle, and although his response hadn't been positive, he'd seemed quite content with her afterwards. She needed to know how much of what she'd said had gotten through to him.

Alone with him now, Rukia drew up a chair to the side of the bed and watched the colors flicker across his skin. There was blue, red, and black, and each color seemed to represent more intensity than the last. Her eyes moved down to the black bands on his wrists, the very same ones she'd given him two years ago with the white '_osearu' _on them.

She was so glad, after his battle, that she hadn't had to watch him lie in a hospital for days, hoping he was going to pull through. It was such a relief to be able to look at his body and see that it wasn't black and blue, and unnatural tones.

"Ichigo," She said his name, hoping it might stir him. "Ichigo?"

But he remained in the sleep-like state.

Rukia drew his hand up, she pressed her head to his palm, which pulsated with the flux of his reiatsu. She let the reiatsu wash over her, and it rippled through her with a frigid chill. It was like plunging into a freezing ocean. She concentrated hard, and allowed the energy to pull her with it as it withdrew. Then she was moving through a black abyss. She couldn't tell if it was falling or not, because no direction was definable. Then, she was still.

Rukia opened her eyes to the strangest landscape of a blue-tinted city with a clouded sky. She realized she was on one of these buildings, and as she pushed herself upright her stomach turned at the dizzying sight. The whole place was on its side, and she stood on a large, glass window of one of the many skyscrapers. After she got her barings in this strange place, she began to climb upwards through the mass of buildings. The higher she got, the more she realized just how many buildings there were. They extended for miles in every direction.

She locked onto Ichigo's reiatsu and followed it. When she found him he seemed out of breath, there was blood from where he'd been wounded, but he didn't seem to be in danger at the moment. Several feet across from him stood another boy, a monochromatic sort of copy of Ichigo, save for the shining yellow irises. They both had their swords lowered, but it was obvious they'd been fighting quite roughly by the destroyed and crumbling buidlings around them. She landed on the edge of the building and both turned to look at her.

"Rukia?" Ichigo asked, dumbfoundedly. Then he turned to the hollow. "Is she really here?"

"_You let her in, Ou-chan." _ Shiro replied, watching the shinigami woman with cold eyes. _"Even if you didn't intend to."_

"I came here to help you, Ichigo." Rukia stated.

_"Oh, wonderful! You've come to help!" _The hollow exclaimed sarcasticly, rolling his eyes._ "This is your fault."_

Ichigo pursued his lips, he seemed unpleased. "Go back, Rukia. I don't need your help."

"At least tell me what's going on, you've got everyobody freaking out." She pressed.

_"He'd gotten this idea in his head that you'd like him better if he was the Ichigo from the notebook." _His white copy replied.

"Shiro-kun, stop it!" Ichigo shouted, he raised his sword as though to threaten the hollow.

_"Give me a break, I'm so sick of your acting like this, you little baby. You're an awful king, Ou-chan! Surely you understand that I will take you down and take your throne before I'd let you just self-destuct. I'm not going to just let you drag me down with you. When we met, you had such strong ideals, you were a little whinny and you needed some training, but your aspiration for power was tremendous and I liked that in you. I'm trying to be patient with you, I've been trying to help you see clearly, but I'm not the one that has to fix it. She is the one you cling to. She's the one who has to set you right. If she is going to do that, she has to understand where your mind is." _

Rukia was surprised by this. Here was this creature, this _thing_ that she had been so unfond of - and it seemed to be siding with her.

The monochromatic replica of Ichigo turned to her, its eyes were a piercing yellow. Its face was scrunched with disgust. _"I despise the power you hold over him, and that you abused it. You've got to fix it."_

Their eyes were connected, and for a moment Rukia and the hollow seemed to have an understanding. Although they were not keen of the other, in a way they both cared about Ichigo. In that moment that Shiro was distracted, Ichigo took the chance and shun-poed behind him.

_"Damn it!" _The hollow moved to pursue him, but stopped when he realized that Ichigo was already too close. Ichigo could touch the barrier before he would be able to get near.

"_It still doesn't matter?" _Shiro growled at him. He'd thought he might've gotten somewhere.

"I'm sorry, Shiro-kun, but you were right - I am pathetic." Ichigo turned to face the barrier. He reached out, his hand lingered inches from the red wall. They were too far behind him to be able to stop him now. Shiro had been right about a lot of things, he agreed now that he shouldn't have to feel sorry for what he was (even if Rukia didn't like it). He agreed that he could be self-degrading, always finding someway to blame himself. Maybe he could change that. But right now all that was left was the fact that he couldn't stand that he still loved her so much, that the thought of her wanted to occupy his mind constantly.

_"Go ahead and touch it, it ain't gonna do shit" _The hollow rolled his eyes as he shouted this. _"What ticks me off is how you're acting like this is some kind of reset button. You have that notebook commited to memory. You dream about the events in there constantly. How much difference is it really going to make if you remember doing all that stuff? You practically do already! You'll still have all your own memories, it's not like it's going to remove your exsistence, Ou-chan! All it will do is let you remember how it was to watch that precious mother of yours die."_

Ichigo shuddered. But surely He would be able to think of something else? Even if it wasn't like becoming a different person, surely he would be able to pull his mind out of this painful rut!

"Ichigo, wait a second." Rukia called.

He shook his head, not bothering to turn back to her. "God gave me the key, don't you think that means it was supposed to be this way all along? He was supposed return at some point... and now that Aizen is dead."

"Ichigo, just listen to me for a minute, please." Rukia shouted. "He is not the Ichigo I know, I'm not going to like him better. He is not going to smile like you do. He is not going to fall asleep on me, or accidentaly be too polite. I knew how you felt, I knew it since the time we sat together on Soukyouku Hill. I decided that I couldn't see you anymore after that, not to be cruel, not because I didn't like you. But it was because, there you were - sitting next to me with a gapping hole in your stomach, covered in bruises and injuries. Don't you see, Ichigo? I couldn't allow you to do that again. You said so yourself you would do it over again for me, even if you didn't pull through the next time. I have never had anyone love me so intensly before, with out much pretense, for no other reason than for just being me. The responsibility of that, it terrifies me. To watch you let yourself get beaten to such a state, so Aizen wouldn't lay a hand on me. I knew I couldn't let you get any closer than you already were. I wouldn't be able to handle it if I had to watch you die like that. I don't deserve the love... the fiercness and the depth of the love you've shown me."

He slowly turned away from the red of the barrier, the glow alit the bewilderment on his face.

"It wasn't about the hollow, it was never about the hollow." She continued, a little less loudly. "It worried me... it frightened me, because I thought that you might allow yourself to become it. But your father was right, you're still _you, _even after what you did the other day. I just have to trust that you'll be able to handle it, as you have choosen to."

Her words seemed to draw him away from the barrier

"I love you, Ichigo. I do, and I'm so... so sorry that I didn't just admit it to you." Rukia claimed.

Ichigo glanced over to Shiro.

_"It's fine." _The hollow replied to the unasked question for permission. Then he fixed Rukia with an intense glare. _"But if you ever screw around with him like that again, I will hurt you."_

It wasn't until he had the hollow's permission that he approached her.

"I'm sorry," She whispered as he came to stand infront of her.

"Do you really mean it?" He asked, guardedly.

"Absolutely." She assured.

Then, it wasn't quite clear which of the two moved first, but they drew in close to each other. With all else resolved they finally stood before each other knowing the deep love that lay there. Her fingers traced along his arm, watching his eyes intently for reassurance that her words had gotten through to him, and she found it there as his ambers softened.

"I love you, Rukia." He said.

This time she replied, "I love you too."

Their lips met, and for that minute they exsisted in a solitary moment of perfection.

Then, as they pulled away, he opened his eyes and realized that he was laying down, not in his inner world, but in a room in the clinic. They both sat up, surprised to find themselves out. Then, realizing what they'd just done each turned away, blushing madly. Although they felt embarassed and a little unsure about how to face each other now, their hands found each other and remained in a tight hold.

"I can be so... so stubborn." Ichigo said, finally able to look back at her, though his face was still red. Then he laughed, and it was the sweet sort of giggle he used to give her.

"I'll say," Rukia laughed, she was relieved. How could she think that she could ever keep him away? What a strange notion that seemed like now. Of course it would be impossible.

The door opened, his mother was surprised to find him sitting up.

"Oh! You're awake!" Masaki exclaimed. "Thank goodness!"

"Sorry for scaring you, Mama." He apologized, despite whatever had happened he seemed happy enough. Then she saw that their hands were clasped, she knew then that the issues between them had been resolved.

She realized that her jaw was hanging open, and so she shut it and smiled. It was important that she remain supportive. If she were to say, 'don't do that again', he still would - he'd just make sure she didn't have to know about it. "It's alright. I'm sure that wasn't your intention. It frightened me at first but your father and Mr. Urahara were very reassuring..."

"Oh, he's here?" He asked surprisedly. His hand moved to his chest where he had been cut, that was right - he'd been healed. "He brought Orihime, didn't he?"

"Yes, she was more than happy to help."

Ichigo turned to Rukia, and Masaki saw the light sparkle in his eyes as she was held in his vision. He was more radiant than she'd ever seen him.

"I need to talk to my Mom for a minute," He said.

"Alright," Rukia let go of his hand, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious now that his mother was there. She stood up. "I'll see you in a little bit then."

After Rukia left, mother and son sat together on the edge of the bed.

"I know that was scary for you to see that, getting cut up like that. I've been sort of... sort of _really _depressed these past few days," He wrung his hands together. "My head was in a bad space, and it didn't help that I felt like I'd accomplished the thing I exsisted for. I'm usually so much more carefull than that, I would've never allowed there to be a chance that you would see that. I didn't think it'd take that long, but I normally wouldn't have taken the chance."

"I would rather be aware of what you're doing, with things like that." Masaki answered.

He glanced up at her confusedly. "But how would that make any sense?"

Masaki opened her mouth to respond but Ichigo cut her off.

"That doesn't really matter right now, there was a reason I wanted to talk to you. Rukia's helped me out of it, the rut I was in. She's not your favorite person, I know that..." He took in a sharp breath. "But I love her, Mama, and she loves me."

"I know." Masaki replied, placidly. She smiled sadly at him, she knew the struggles he'd gone through for this. Rukia was so special to him. She was so happy for him, and yet so sad. Sad that it had taken all of this for him to finally be able to be open with her. Sad that because he loved Rukia, that seemed to mean loving being a shinigami as well. It was not necessarily a bad thing, because one should love who they are. But Masaki was sad because it scared her that someday he would end up dying for Rukia. It wasn't so bad, she surmised (but what an awful thing to even entertain), if he was a human he would probably die in an accident, from illness, or from old age. So it couldn't be so bad if one day he did lose his life for the one person in the world who completed him.

She sat down beside him, brushed his hair away from his face, and kissed his forehead.

"I'm fine with that, Ichigo." She said, softly. "The thing is, you're still young and I think that the two of you need to wait before you take this anywhere. If you still feel the same way in a couple of years, when you're older, then you can being making decisions based off that. I want you two to just stay friends for now."

He turned a little red at this because he had not really thought about what loving a woman entailed. "Alright, Mama"

After a long hug, the two went into the main part of the house to assure everyone that everything was fine. His apparent joy, it was obvious to everyone. He was glowing. It didn't seem logical that his placid sort of content from yesterday could be replaced by his current elation after some sort of inner battle, but it had quite clearly released him of some heavey burden.

He beamed at his family, even as he tried to apologize in a solemn matter. They were just happy to see him so radiant, it was not the fake sort of front he'd often put on for his mother - this was heart felt, and it washed away the anxiety that had been hanging over the Kurosaki house the past couple of days.

xXxXXxXXxXXxXx

This was wonderful. Ichigo grinned up at the ceiling, he felt so light, so warm. Rukia loved him, she really did love him.

His left hand moved subconsciously to his lips, remembering the kiss. He laughed under his breath at his own stupidity.

He was back in the bed in the clinic, although he was perfectly fine now. He was sleeping in here because they'd allowed Rukia to have a cot in the corner of the room, they would not have let her sleep in his room, but apparently this was different somehow. He was still recovering, and she could be there for emotional support is the sort of thing they decided. He hadn't complained. He ended up simply figuring it was because being in the clinic he opted out of his privacy, so his parents felt they could come and go as they pleased.

The two of them had stayed up, whispering back and forth about the near two years they'd been apart till Rukia had eventually drifted off. Ichigo couldn't sleep, he was too happy. So he lie there and listen to her breathe while he smiled to himself. The struggle he'd dealt with the last couple days seemed so unimportant now. How could he have thought, for even one minute, that she could possibly hate him?

This... this was perfect.

"Hello there, little shinigami." It was a familiar, icy voice that startled him.

Ichigo's heart skipped a beat, he turned towards the voice. Aizen Sousuke, barely defineable amongst the shadows, was sitting in a chair in the corner of the room. Ichigo jumped off the bed and instantly placed himself between Aizen and the sleeping Rukia.

"I don't care about her anymore, she has no use to me now that she doesn't contain the Hougyoku." He said with an air of nonchalance.

"I killed you," Ichigo stated, both angry and dumbfounded. "You were dead."

"Do you really think, after our first battle, that it wouldn't be possible for me to fake my own death?" Aizen laughed. He twiddled his thumbs idly.

"But you never released your zanpakutou." Ichigo said. Sweat had begun beading on his forehead.

"You thought you could kill me without me ever even releasing to shikai? I wonder if you were too consumed to comprehend, it does only take a moment after all." Aizen stood up, and Ichigo affirmed his guarding position infront of Rukia. "I told you, I'm not here for her."

"Then why are you here?" He growled. As Aizen approached with a casual walk, he gripped at the black band on his right wrist.

"That wont be necesarry." Aizen placed his hand on Ichigo's shoulder. "I'm here for you."

_"Why are you here," _He asserted, allowing hollowness in his voice to show. Usually, he couldn't just do that, usually it was only that way when Shiro spoke. But he felt so very threatened and since that battle the line between the two of them had gotten a little blurry. His heart raced as he stared up at the man, he could feel Shiro on his toes as well, preparing any moment to engage in combat.

"The Gotei 13 is going to come after you, they're not blind to what goes on in the World of the Living, and as soon as they realize that monster and you are one and the same - you're done for. They're not going to allow such a dangerous abomination to exsist. It's not that you have done anything wrong, you're just a liability. You're a variable they can't control, and they will get rid of you."

"So what? What does it matter to you if they come after me?" He asked, cautiously.

"It doesn't _really_ matter to me. But, what happens if you can't stand up to the Gotei 13?"

"They'd kill me." He answered carefully. "Or perhaps they'd experiment on me."

"Oh, yes, they might have fun with that. But the point is - how many people do you know would try to stand in their way, if they were aware of what was going to happen?" He asked. Ichigo glared at him, his ambers blazing. Aizen raised his hands in a defensive gesture. "I'm not threatening any of your people, just think about it. Who will it endanger?"

The boy just continued to glare at him with a deep hate and anger, so that Aizen backed away a few steps.

"I am not here to make you do anything. I just want you to know that when there is no where left for you to go, my door is open to you. Someone with your abilities is worth more than the slaughter house."

_"I would rather die, than join you."_ Ichigo snarled.

"I'm sure you would," Aizen laughed, and he flicked his wrist so the the Garganta opened behind him. He glanced over to the clock on the wall as he stepped back into the dark opening. "Happy Birthday, Kurosaki Ichigo. I'm sure that we'll be seeing each other very soon."

Ichigo continued to glare into the emptiness Aizen had occupied, trying to wrap his mind around what had just happened.

"Ichigo...? What's going on?" Came Rukia's half-awake voice.

"It's nothing." He replied, his heart beat excelled in a rapid beat and he wondered desperately if it had been in his head. "Go back to sleep. I'll come lie down in just a moment."

**Chapter End**


	9. Happy Happy Birthday

**Chapter 9; Happy, Happy Birthday**

Ichigo was standing, pressed against the edge of a cliff. The sun shimmered brilliantly, climbing up from the horizon. He sucked in a deep breath, the air still chilled from the night. Rukia stood a couple of feet behind him, not daring to approach the edge as brashly as he did. The two of them had choosen to take a hike that morning, through the woods outside of town, and explore the damage from the battle the day before. Part of the landscape had been altered drastically. There were craters, large sections where the trees were all but incinerated. Even the blood still lingered in a dark and foreboding, but almost artistic spray across the scene.

This cliff offered something a little more serene.

"You seem a little tense." Rukia stated.

"I saw Aizen last night," Ichigo breathed.

Rukia seemed unconcerned. "Were you awake?"

"I... I think I was." He replied. "But I'm not completely sure."

"You must have been having a nightmare," Rukia rubbed his back comfortingly.

"But what if I wasn't?! What if he's still alive?"

"If that's the case, we'll deal with it then. But I don't think it's unreasonable that you'd be having nightmares about it. He was a terrifying man to face, wasn't he? It's a really big deal that you were able to defeat him. Of course you'd be dreaming about it."

"I guess so." Ichigo shrugged.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah," He turned around and smiled at her. "I'll be alright, just a little nervous. But things are good now..."

She smiled back at him.

"I wish that I could stand ontop of Soukyouku hill with you again. The view here is beautiful, but that place was special."

"I remember how amazed you were to see that place!" She laughed at the memory. "You insisted, even though I thought it was so wreckless."

"I don't regret it." With that he walked past her, back to the sun so that his shadow was casted long and dark infront of him. Rukia followed after him and they began their descent of the mountain, back towards the destruction.

They were almost to the semi-circle he'd cleared with the cero. Most the trees here still stood but some had been damaged.

"What does it feel like," Rukia asked, reluctantly. "Becoming that creature?"

"It's not like being possessed..." He replied, running his fingers across a splintered stump. "It's like Shiro-kun and I become one. Which I suppose in reality that we are one... But there are all those dark thoughts that you have in the back of your mind, that you easily trump because you know that they are inappropriate, violent, or inhuman. They don't ever become anything, they're just thoughts that you know shouldn't have occured in the first place. In that state they become very rational, and very necessary. I'm still me, but it's hard not to be completely overwhelmed by the hatred and the anger."

"What do you call it, the hollow?" She laughed, hoping make the conversation a little lighter.

"Shiro-kun," He turned to grin at her. "Because he's so white. He calls me Ou-chan, because apparently I'm the king, although you know he'd never bow to me."

"It's sort of strange, isn't it?"

"It's my normal." He left the stump to stand closer by her. He loved to see that look in her gorgeous purple eyes, her lack of scrutiny even with their current topic. He could see her love shimmering there, and he was deeply solaced by it. "I don't feel bothered by it anymore. I know that I am a very strange... _thing, _but if I wasn't this way then I wouldn't have you."

Rukia's face blushed red, and her eyes feel away from him. "I meant everything that I said, and I do love you. I'm just... I don't know what this means? I don't know what's supposed to happen next."

Ichigo wrapped his arms around her, his heart fluttered - he was holding her. She loved him. "I don't have any expectations. Just do what feels right. I'm not in any hurry to get somewhere."

He felt Rukia nodded against him, her hand clutched the front of his shirt as she accepted his hug.

"You're just a little bit taller than me now, aren't you?" She asked, breaking a moment of silence.

He kissed her forehead before he let her go. "I am, it's supposed to be that way, isn't it? I'll be much taller before long."

She was a shinigami warrior, but for that moment she seemed so small and so feminine. Then slowly, that faded, as she straightened her face to more serious look. She'd felt exposed and she couldn't stand feeling that way for long, it was not something she was used to.

"I promised your parents I wouldn't keep you out all day," She said.

He smiled, "Alright, let's keep moving then."

xXxXxXXxXxXx

It was almost noon when they got home.

"How was your walk?" Masaki asked.

"Wonderful, Mama." Ichigo replied. He'd returned home to find the interior of the house completely decorated with balloons and birthday banners.

"It's Ichi-nii's birthday, his birthday," The twins were singing at the table as they created their own decorations out of construction paper. Rukia wandered over to the table, and got herself a piece of paper and some crayons.

After Masaki released him from a tight hug, he went to look over Rukia's shoulder. "What is that supposed to be?"

Rukia slammed her hands on the table top, then she motion frustratedly to some doodles of him on the table that the girls had made. "It's supposed to be you!"

Ichigo laughed. "How come I look like a rabbit?"

"Because it's cute!" She declared.

"You think I'd be cuter if I were a rabbit?" He asked, with a grin.

She became a little pink about the cheeks. "T-that's not what I was saying. Rabbits are cute, and you're... you're cute... so it's really cute..."

The twins giggled at this. "It is cute!"

Masaki watched the two of them, her hands folded infront of her heart. He was so radiant. _I love her, and she loves me... _Masaki had known for a long time, she'd had her doubts, her resignations. But this was fine, this was good. He deserved this happiness so much. She had not ever really gotten to see the two of them interact before, and she could tell that they truly enjoyed each other. She loved to see the way his eyes sparkled when he looked at Rukia. Yes, it was just fine like this.

Isshin entered from the clinic. "Well, it sure looks lively in here."

"It is Ichi-nii's birthday," Karin replied, knowingly.

"Well, that makes sense then, it should be lively on a day like today, shouldn't it?" He said.

"Yes, it should!" Yuzu chirped.

"I was under the impression that we would be going to the park soon." Isshin stated as he came to stand beside his wife.

"Well, if that's what Ichigo wants." Masaki replied.

"Can Rukia come?" Ichigo asked, his attention drawn away from the table. "Would you mind?"

"That's fine," His mother assured.

He turned around to check with Rukia, to see if it was something she'd like to do, but he found her messing frantically with her cellphone device, lips pursued with a deep seriousness. Once he noticed he could feel his guts sinking, something was happening. She felt his eyes on her, finished her note, and suggested they step into the living room a minute.

"I've got to go back to the Soul Society, but just for a little while." Rukia said, carefully.

He seemed to tense up when he heard this, she understood why it would scare him. "Why?"

"Ukitake needs me to report on your battle. They know something crazy went down the other day, and I told him I know what happened."

"You can't tell him," Ichigo quickly rejected.

"He's very fond of you, Ichigo. I think that it'll be a relief for him to know not only that it was you, but that Aizen is dead. I trust that he'll protect you from any scrutiny from the Gotei 13, he'd been willing to keep it a secret, just like last time." Rukia assured.

_"Aizen's not dead." _Shiro warned. _"That wasn't a dream."_

Ichigo frowned uneasily. "If that's the case then what am I supposed to do? I gave it all I had."

Rukia blinked confusedly at first, then, "What is he saying?"

"Shiro-kun is also worried about Aizen." Ichigo sighed. "What happened to his body?"

"Urahara has it, I believe."

"It's alright. If he is somehow still alive, then we'll deal with it, okay? We'll figure something out."

Ichigo nodded and tried to smile for her, but he didn't feel any better. He had given their battle everything he had, he had abandoned his defenses for that final blow, knowing that he wasn't going to be able to keep going much longer. He had basically said, at the very least - we will die together.

"I'm going to be back in a couple of hours, promise. Your mother said that you were doing the main celebration around five o'clock. I don't know if I'll be back in time for that, but I should be back before you go to bed. We can do something for your birthday when I get back, or tomorrow, if you'd like."

"Alright." He tried to let himself feel at ease.

xXxXxXx

The Kurosaki family all went to the park together, something they hadn't done for a while. Both his parents seemed overly enthusiastic, they wanted to be absolutely sure he had a good birthday as the trauma from his fight seemed to hang over them again. He might not have made it, and maybe next year they wouldn't be so lucky. They clung to the celebration, clung to him.

After the park they went out for pizza, an early dinner. Ichigo enjoyed himself and his thoughts seemed to occasionally whisper - _see, you do belong somewhere. You're right where you belong. These people see you for what you are, and they love you._

He let the warmth of their love flood him, overflow within him.

Then dinner ended and they meanedered their way home for the cake and presents. The front door was opened and the twins began pilling present on the table from where ever they had been hidden.

"Alright, Ichigo, go wait over by the table." His father direct him. The twins hopped up and down in their seats as he sat across from them at the table.

"Aren't you so excited, Ichi-nii?!" Yuzu asked, excitedly.

"Of course he is!" Karin laughed. "It is his birthday."

"Yeah," He beamed at the girls. "It's fun."

Then Isshin hushed everyone, and Masaki came out of the kitchen, a cake outstretched before her.

"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Ichigo, Happy Birthday to you!" His family sang in unison with big grinning smiles. His mother placed a cake before him with twelve blazing candles. He could tell his cheeks had turned a little red from the attention.

Ichigo stood up and leaned across to the cake, buying a few extra seconds with the motion as 'Make a wish!' was chorused around him. Then with a deep breath he wipped out the flames. Ichigo beamed around at his family, but the smile quickly dropped. In the second that he had lowered his vision to the candles seven Onmitsukido, Stealth Force, members were standing about the dining room with them. They were the same type of 'ninja's' (as he'd called them back then), who'd been recruited to help with their original plan to take out Aizen.

Swords were already drawn. He had three trained on him and there was a blade positioned threatening to each member of his family.

"W-what is this?" Masaki squeaked. She couldn't see anything, but the wave of intensity had been obvious.

"Masaki dear, don't move." Isshin assert. "Girls, don't move."

Ichigo raised his hands in surrender. "Leave them alone, I'm the one you're here for. They don't even understand what's going on."

"Our orders are to bring you into the Seireitei, where you will be tried by the Central 46." Claimed the one whose sword was pointed towards Ichigo's throat.

"I understand. Please, let them go and I will cooperate." Ichigo replied as calmly as he could.

"Move away from the table, get on your knees, and put your hands on the back of your head. Then they will be free to go." The same officer demanded.

Ichigo obeyed, slowly lowering himself to his knees without any sudden movements. When they were satisfied, the blades shifted away from his family and the stealth officers began gravitating towards him.

_**"Get them out of here!" **_Ichigo bellowed in a dark and monsterous voice, wondering why his father hadn't acted the moment they were released. If any of the officers had wondered if this was really the moster they were looking for, they didn't have any doubts now. Isshin obeyed, quickly directing his mother and his sisters to the door.

"Can he... can he fight them like that?!" Masaki shouted as she followed her husband out the side gate and up the street.

"He can't fight with those bands on," Isshin heaved, he had Yuzu's hand in one hand and Karin's in the other. "But if he could get them off then I think he could take them easily... Masaki?" When she didn't respond he swirled around just in time to see her skirt flurreling back through the side gate. "Masaki, don't go in there!"

"I can't leave him like that!" Her voice called back.

Ichigo had all seven swords pointed at him. His speed in his human body would be too slow to take them all out, he was trying to calculate his best move. Being slow, as he was in his body, he would likely recieve damage before this was over. He tried playing it through his head to find away he could get at them with out having fatal damage inflicted.

_"Wait for an opening. Those two are about to put their swords down to put restraints on you, then there will be only five swords." _Shiro whispered in his mind. _"If you can get enough distance you'll be able to get the bands off."_

He saw his mother out of the corner of his eye, and at first he thought he was seeing things, but she was holding a shovel. In the next moment the shovel slammed into the back of the head of one of the execution officers behind him.

"Get away from him!" She screeched, and swung again. She'd felt the impact, but otherwise the air was empty to her. She swung fiercy, blindly. But her intuition was keen and she got the officer that moved towards her across the jaw.

Ichigo manuvuered under his mother's wild swinging and disarmed the officer infront of him, snapping the man's wrist as he did so. He began drawing that power out.

_"Your Mama might have just saved your life." _ Shiro cackled, amussedly.

Masaki saw him in a way she had never seen him before. Black flames licked at the air all around his body. His eyes were hardened with a deep gravity. He was powerful, she understood this for herself now, he was an incredibly powerful being. Ichigo disarmed a second man, he was not nearly fast but even with his bands on he was strong. Now only three of them had their swords drawn, the ones on the ground were getting back to their feet.

His mother's wild swinging had become fruitless, they were cautious now. One of the men took an opening and twisted the shovel from her hands.

_If you hurt her, I will kill you_. The thought rang in his head as he saw this, it went too fast for him to make it there in time to stop it. With the shovel now in hand the man swung back and slammed the shovel blade into Masaki's ribcage. Masaki fell backwards, by the time she hit the ground Ichigo was standing behind the man,his hand pressed to the officer's head, his body flickering with a black flame. He expelled a burst of reiatsu through his palm, as he had done with the trees. The officer's body shook voilently, then the man collapsed to the side, blood leaking from every porous. He was dead so easily.

Although Masaki couldn't see what he had just done, she could see the malicious anger in his eyes. She gulped for air, hands groping at her side.

Ichigo emitted a demonic growl as he turned to the others. They took a step back. He tore the bands off his wrists. His human body wobbled, and crumbled forward. Within seconds the six remaining gaurds had been slaughtered halphazardously about the dining room and living room. He'd killed all seven of them without much self-restraint.

This had all happened in such a short amount of time that when Isshin finally burst into the house, having sent the girls to some neighbors they often played with, Masaki was on the floor and Ichigo was removing his giant blade from a man's chest.

He flung himself down beside his wife. "Masaki, dear, are you alright?"

"I'll be fine," She replied weakly, wincing as she tried to move. "Ichigo... is Ichigo okay?"

Isshin moved her hands and inspected the wound. There was a long gash on her left side, and it felt like she might have broken a rib or two. But as she said, she would ultimately be fine. With that he glanced back up to his son who was approaching, face and blade still spatter with blood. "Your mother will be alright."

"Good...good." Ichigo breathed.

"There are more coming!" Isshin exclaimed, feeling the reiatsu spotting around them. In the next second his son was gone.

Eleven more stealth force officers were outside, spread across the tops of the houses. There was a single second where all was still, as they seemed to affirm each other's presence, then the fighting began.

A flurry arms and legs, Zangetsu's blade either being blocked or flashing red at every turn.

_**"Stay away from my house!" **_He roared. The power began to wash up on him, eager to be used. _Stop pushing me, Shiro-kun! _He managed in his thoughts. He was trying to control himself to some extent, but that darkness readily swelled inside him whenever he allowed it.

_"I'm not pushing, Ou-chan. You're the one who's flipping out. Take a deep breath, get control of yourself."_

He tried to pull himself together, and he managed for a moment, and then there were three behind him at once. In a frenzied attempt to block them while not leaving himself open to those infront of him, his mind wavered again. He realized then he was changing, as though his body insisted it was the natural state of things.

He fought the transformation at first, but it became too overwhelming to keep up with the Onmitsukidou at the same time. _They dared to come into my house, they dared to threaten my family. They put swords to my mother, to my sisters! _The rage came again and he became unfalteringly violent.

Then eleven bodies lay strewn across the street. The anger bubbled and he growled at the bloody scene around him, daring them to stand back up so he could tear them to pieces.

_Get ahold of yourself, _the thought was repeating in his head. _Get ahold of yourself._

Something inside him wavered, and he realized that he was thinking this as Shiro was repeating it. He quickly whisked the horned masked away.

_"What's happening to me?" _Ichigo asked, suddenly feeling horrified by himself.

xXxXXxXx

Isshin had taken Masaki into the clinic, he'd carefully cleaned and bandaged the shovel wound. Normal he would have begun doing stitches for something like that, but he'd decided that maybe he should try calling Orihime instead. It would infringe on her, of course, but it would be better for everyone if Masaki could be completely better in another hour. If Orihime could come, then the girls didn't ever have to know, and Ichigo, who was surely punishing himself for what happened, would not have to stress on it for much longer.

He was at his desk when he heard noise from inside the house, so he peeked his head through the door. Ichigo was standing in the dining room, so Isshin walked into the house.

"Ichigo," Isshin called, but his son pretended like he hadn't heard.

Ichigo began picking up the bodies he had strewn across the house. He was still in his monsterous form for the strength, but he had the mask desolved. The black and yellow eyes were very solemn.

"Your mother is going to be alright," He attempted again. Avoiding eye contact, Ichigo walked past him to collect the final body.

"Ichigo. Ichigo, look at me." His father demanded.

Ichigo still wouldn't meet his eyes, he carried the load to the door. Once it was opened, he hesitated in the frame a moment.

_"I'm sorry, Dad." _He said, and then he was gone.

xXxXx

Ichigo had disposed all of the bodies in the woods, amongst the destruction there. Now he stood on the roof of the house that neighbored his own. He could hear the twin's voices carrying from a house down the block where they were playing in a friend's bedroom. How long until another wave would come? How long before they realized what he'd done and sent in some annihilation squad?

His body phased back to its former stature. What then? Would he kill them too?

In a static flash he was on the ground.

"What now?" His voice shuddered with emotion. He stumbled back a couple of steps. "I can't stay around here."

He turned and ran.

_No. No. No...! _He ran aimlessly but always very focused on _away_, till it became too much and he slumped onto a brick wall that curved with the street.

"Oh God," Ichigo sobbed, clinging to the rough texture of the brick wall. _This can't be happening! This can't be happening! _He sunk down to his knees, attempted for a second to gain control, but faltered more deeply into tears.

_"It is happening." _The hollow stated, calmly. _"But you're going to be alright, it's not the end of the world."_

"The Gotei 13 wants me dead. Mama got hurt because of me. I lost myself, I completely just lost myself." He whimpered, trying again to regain himself. "I killed all of them, I just killed them."

_"They hurt your Mother, they were after you. It was self-defense, was it not?"_

"It was a massacre." Ichigo slumped back against the wall and stared miserably up at the darkening sky. His breathing was still shuddered but he had managed to stop crying. "You can feel it too, can't you? I'm loosing it. I can't quite control myself the same anymore."

_"I've noticed."_

"If they didn't want me dead before, they'll want me dead for sure now." He whispered. "They're going to come back for me. They could hurt some one else... I'll probably end up killing who ever they send, even if I don't I might hurt someone without meaning. I don't know if I can trust myself, Shiro-kun."

Ichigo clambered back up to his feet and began walking. He couldn't allow this to endanger anyone else. He would force Urahara to open the Senkaimon, he'd go the Seireitei and surrender himself. That was the only safe thing to do, wasn't it?

_**"Or maybe I'll just slaughter them all." **_He rumbled darkly, savagely. How dare they come into his house!? How dare they threaten his family!? For a moment his mind trembled with darkness as the anger swelled up inside him.

"Going to give yourself up?"

"Aizen!" He growled, swirling around to face the man.

"Or are you going to just kill every last shinigami?" Aizen laughed.

"I'm not going to kill anyone." He replied, realizing as he said this that he really didn't want to kill. He was just so angry and his mind seemed to suggest the intense violence, as retribution, so easily. His mother had been hurt, but she would be fine, and that was no reason to go on a killing spree.

"But they hurt your mother. Shouldn't they have to pay for that?" He pressed.

Ichigo dropped his eyes to the man's feet. "I've already over done it. It was my fault to begin with, they were only there for me. I'm turning myself over."

"Why don't you come with me instead? They can't touch you if you're with me." He offered, a sly smile playing on his face.

"So you can kill me, or torture me, or experiment on me too?" Ichigo scoffed.

"I want you to fight for me. I admit, as far as you're concerned it might be the greater of two evils. But I can offer certain gauruntees that the Gotei 13 wont bother with. You understand my plan, it seems, so you must realize that if you give yourself up to the Gotei 13 then you will not be able to stop me. So we can assume then that it is only a matter of time before I am successful. If you come with me, instead of allowing them to kill you, then I can assure that your family is safe through the battles to come. I can assure, in the new world that I am going to create, that your family has a reserved, safe place for them. Even as the world falls apart around them, they will live."

"I can't trust you to keep your word." Ichigo stated.

"You'll be able to keep your eye on them too, assure that they're alright. Help me bring this world to an end and begin a new one where I am God, Kurosaki Ichigo, and you will never have to worry about your loved ones being harmed again."

xXxXXxXXxXx

"Ukitake-taichou," Rukia bowed, pausing at the door.

"Rukia, come in, come in..." Ukitake ushered her in. "How has your time in the World of the Living been?"

"It was a little hectic at first, Taichou. But I'm glad now that you made me go." She replied, allowing herself to drift into the Captain's office.

"Good, it makes me happy to hear that. And how is Ichigo-kun doing?"

"He's doing fine, Taichou." She replied, deciding that even though Ukitake was warm, there was no need to go into all the details with him. "I'm here to report on the event that occured in Karakura-chou. The battle..."

"I'm sorry that you came all the way here, Rukia. The Twelveth Division has already figured out what it was a short while ago, and the Captain Commander ordered a squadron of Omnitsukido to be sent to take care of it already. Capture it, or kill it, which ever is deemed the best course of action." Ukitake replied, as though it were a light matter.

"When... was that?" Rukia gulped.

"It wasn't that long ago, I don't remember exactly when, but I'd imagine they're there by now."

"But that's Ichigo," She muttered, a little too quietly at first, then her eyes shifted up, imploring and frantic. "It was Ichigo. That's what I had to tell you. Ichigo was fighting Aizen, that's what all the commotion was."

Ukitake shot to his feet hearing this. But his eyes seemed a little empty and he was unable to offer a solution in the time Rukia was willing to stand there. Every second was a second closer to when they would be attacking Ichigo. She prayed they wouldn't be able to kill him, he was so strong after all, but even so nothing good could come of this.

"I've got to get back there, now!" Rukia shouted, flinging herself back around to the door.

xXxXxXxXxXx

"Mama... Mama..." His voice pulled her from a dream. Masaki stirred, and smiled tiredly when she saw him.

"Hey, honey." Her voice was weak. She noticed how he lingered a distance from her, then she noticed how mortified he looked. "Come here, Ichigo, it's alright."

He shook his head, "No, Mama."

"What's the matter?" She asked, pulling her torso upright. "You know, Orihime will be here in a little while, I'll be all better soon."

He grabbed at his head as his face whelmed with distress. He pushed the tears down. "I... I'm so sorry..."

"It's alright, baby. It's not your fault." She coaxed, ushering for him to come closer. Again he refused.

"I have to go, Mama. I have to go away."

"No, you don't." Masaki rejected. She realized now why he kept back from where she could reach him, because she would grab him and hold him there if she had to.

"I'll be alright, I promise. I have to go where they can't find me. If I'm gone, then you'll be alright too. They wont hurt you if I'm not here. Just in case though, I have invested in certain arrangements that will assure your safety." He attempted to explain.

"Ichigo, you don't have to do that." Masaki scooted herself to the edge of the bed. Ichigo backed away even further. "Listen to me, Ichigo. This isn't your fault."

"They'll come for me again," He wavered on the edge of crying again. "They'll come with a stronger force, and when they do I might not be able to fight them off. I will not risk anyone getting hurt again. Okay, Mama? I'm sorry you got hurt, I'm sorry I have to do this. But I'm going to be okay, I promise, I'm going to be okay."

She stood up, ignoring the pain, and she looked at him with the most warmth and affection that she could (when she really just wanted to cry). "We can all go together."

He seemed to sink back behind his shoulders. "You can't go where I'm going."

She took a step forward, slowly. He took two steps back so that he was in the door way. "... Where?"

"I can't tell you." He refused. "I don't want Dad, or Rukia, or anyone else trying to come after me."

Masaki trembled. "Please, Ichigo, come over here."

"I love you, Mama. I love you so much. You're gonna be safe now, okay?" Ichigo assured. "I don't want to scare you like last time, I don't want you to worry that I might be dead. But I simply cannot live here anymore, and I'm sorry for that. We'll see each other again someday, I'm sure. I'll always be keeping an eye on all of you, so you can be sure of that too... Bye, Mama."

"Ichigo," She breathed, staggering across the floor, clutching her side. "Don't go... Ichigo..."

He disappeared from the doorway as she approached. She tried to pick up speed, even though it was painfull. He was already gone from the hall when she turned the corner.

"Ichigo, come back here, please! There has to be another way!" She wobbled out of the clinic, and looked helplessly around - the street was empty. "ICHIGO! ICHIGOOOO!"

Isshin came running out of the house. "Masaki, dear, what is it? What's happened!?"

Maskai collapsed onto her husband, sobbing. "He's gone... Ichigo's gone..."

xXxXXxXXxXXxXx

"You are a monster, Kurosaki Ichigo." Aizen stated. He was walking down a white corridor, Ichigo trotting a couple of steps behind him. "It was magnificent, watching you fight."

"At what point was it that you switched?" Ichigo asked, his voice was cold. "At what point was I not fighting you anymore?"

"Ah," Aizen smiled, amussed by the question. "You'd like to know how close you actually came to killing me? I will tell you, at some point, but you'll have to earn the answer to that."

They turned the corner and came to a set of double doors. Aizen pushed the handle and the doors opened. The room was large, and mostly empty. Opposite the door the floor raised to a large, throne-like chair. Between the door and the chair, a set of ten characters stood in two rows of five.

"The Espada," Ichigo stated, and he could feel Aizen glance at him with a flash of amusement. Ichigo walked ahead, peering carefully at the set of lined up figures.

"You didn't call us here because of some little shinigami brat, did you?" A blue-haired arrancar scoffed, not afraid to let his annoyance be known.

"GrimmJow JeagerJacques," Ichigo stated, meeting the arrancar's glare. He remembered the notebook had mentioned Grimmjow more than once. "Don't underestimate me, just because I'm young."

"Are you familiar with any of the others?" Aizen asked. That was one of the things that made to boy so interesting, how he somehow seemed to know so much more than he should.

"Yami, Nnoitora, Ulquiorra." He pointed to each as he said their name. Some of the others had been very briefly mentioned, but there had not been enough details to identify them. The Espada didn't seem impressed at all by his little trick.

"Aizen-sama, you can't seriously expect us to follow orders from some kid?" Grimmjow gawked.

"I never said that he out-ranked you," Aizen replied calmly. "All of you need to be aware that he is joining us. He will be under my direct instruction, but he will not be giving orders to anyone."

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

Tatsuki wasn't surprised when they told her he was gone. She had seen it coming a thousand yards away. The unspeakable had happened; his precious mother had been hurt. After that, the only logical step for him would be isolation. She had been thinking he would falter to that eventually, given his waning interest in this world. He had not been paying attention in school, he no longer thought of what he'd like to do with his life. _I don't belong anywhere, _He had said. He had already limited his contact with other humans beings, it seemed like it was just a matter of time before he decided that complete isolation was the only thing he could do. After all, it hit him so hard when people got hurt because of his being a shinigami. They'd been after him, Masaki got hurt. Tatsuki wasn't surprised, but her throat stung.

"Do you think that we'll see him again?" She had asked, emptily.

_Someday_, that's what she'd been told he'd said.

She didn't cry nearly as much as she expected to, after all she had sort of seen this coming. She stood on the bridge, her head atop her folded arms, watching the sun's reflection dance across the surface of the river. The orange glow of the sun reminded her of him, and it made her laugh. Then the laughter cracked and she choked down bitter tears.

xXxXXxXXxXXxXx

He was alone.

Ichigo stood in his new was his space, he'd been assured. It was three times as big as his room at home, there was not very much color, but it held a sort of elegant feel. The bed along the far wall was large and plush, covered in pillows and satin sheets. There was a mirror and and armoire of sorts as well. No windows, though. He sat down on the edge of the bed and sank back into the brilliant blue of his inner world.

_"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." _Shiro stated as Ichigo arrived beside him.

Ichigo rubbed his arm stressedly. "Yes, something like that."

_"You're commited to this then?"_ The hollow asked. _"You realize that he's going to have you kill for him?"_

Ichigo's face scrunched up in sorrowful distaste. "I know that, but I don't see another way."

The sky crackled and they both looked up to see light shooting across the heavy clouds. The rain clouds had come before, but this time they were menacing.

_"I've got your back on this, Ou-chan." _The hollow assured, and strangly enough, for a second his form seemed to flicker. _"We're in this together. We can not become anything until we defeat that man."_

"You're a good friend," Ichigo stated.

Shiro seemed a little surprised to hear this. He turned back to watch the lightnening, scoffing as though it had been a silly thing to say.

Ichigo growled and the sky rumbled along with him. "I'm going to kill him. I'm going to rip him apart the first chance I get."

Shiro nodded, seconding the sentiment. _"The second he slips, we'll be there to tear him down."_

**Chapter End**


	10. Steadfast

**Chapter 10 - Steadfast**

Ichigo was in the large room that seemed to be Aizen's throne room. Arrancar lined the walls and crowded the door way, chorusing with amusement. Aizen sat in the throne like chair, his espada lined up on either side of him. Ichigo stood aways infront of them all, staring with horror at the center of the room. There, they had just dragged in a shinigami, a rankless, frightened shinigami.

"This is your initiation, you could say. In order to seal our deal, Kurosaki Ichigo, you must prove that you can hold to it by first killing this shinigami." Aizen stated.

Ichigo stared at the man he was supposed to kill. He, himself, was in his shihakushou. His mouth was dry. "But he hasn't done anything, has he?"

"He hasn't done anything at all, besides being a shinigami. He was taken from a town north of Karakura. But many innocents will die at our hands before we are finished. Kill him, or go back home." Aizen replied.

Ichigo drew Zangetsu from the bandaged wrap on his back. The room hollered, and snickered, and laughed at him, as he, trembling, approached the shinigami.

The shinigami was a young man with short brown hair, it seemed like he'd already been roughed up a little bit. He took a few steps backwards as Ichigo slowly approached.

"Please, help me! Please, you've got to help me!" The man pleaded, although he seemed wary of Ichigo's intention.

_"Ou-chan, lemme do it. I can do it for you." _The hollow urged. Ichigo felt almost as scared as the shinigami before them.

It was a tempting offer, but he shook his head. "No, if I don't do it this time, I might never be able to do it."

He hardened his eyes and willed himself forward. As soon as the shinigami realized that Ichigo was after him, he bolted away, although there was nowhere really to go because the room was lined with arrancar. Ichigo caught the back of his shihakushou and pulled him backwards to the ground, he raised the butcher-knife blade high. The man screamed. The sword quivered in the air, before it plummeted down into the man's stomach.

Ichigo withdrew the blade, somehow managing to keep calm on the outside. The blow hadn't been enough. The man gurgled, rolling over onto his stomach. He was choking up blood and emitting high-pitched whinning noises as he struggled to crawl away.

_"Once more!" _

Ichigo raised the blade again. This was it, he was going to turn himself into a murderous beast - merciless. There was no turning back from this, by killing this man he was commiting to living with this for the rest of his life. The blade plunged again, and silence fell across the room as all noise ceased.

Then a singular, but resounding clap. Aizen rose from the throne.

"Well done," He smirked.

Ichigo could feel the blood on him, and it burned like acid. _How disgusting_. He returned Aizen's gaze emptily. As long as some day it was Aizen's blood smeared up his zanpakutou, then that man had not died in vain.

**xxx...Three Years Later...xxx**

Ichigo sat ontop of the roof of a building, watching the children down below. Admist the crowd were two familiar faces; his sisters. They were in their last year of Elementary School now. He watched them exit the school yard, Karin tossed a soccer ball around, laughing. A small troop of friends were with his sisters. They seemed to all be having a good time, on the way to the park for a small soccer game. Ichigo stood up, in a static flash he was standing on the limb of a tree they'd just walked past. He gripped the trunk, he was so close.

_"They look happy," _ The hollow offered.

"Yeah," He breathed. His hand ran down the intricasies of the bark, although he didn't smile, watching them filled him with elation. He lingered there a moment, and then he was ontop of a brick wall where a second ago they had turned onto another street. They disappeared down the street, this time he allowed them to leave his sight.

"They're so old now." Ichigo stated, still staring at the space they had last occupied. "Before long they'll be as old as I was, when I left."

_"They're not nearly as brash as you are," _Shiro replied.

"They are human, they're not going to have to make the sort of decisions that I had to. They'll get to still be kids for a long while more, as it should be." He considered continuing on to the park, because he knew exactly which one they were headed for, but he stopped himself. It would be too easy to follow them around all day; watching them made him happy. But he would be expected back soon.

The black head band that Urahara had given him five years ago was tied around his upper arm. The purpose had been to hide his reiatsu so that he could sneak into the Seireitei. Now it served him by hiding his reiatsu so that he could lurk around Karakura town without alerting anyone.

"We should return," Ichigo said aloud. He used to have difficulty not speaking to Shiro aloud, and he hadn't got any better at it. He didn't have any friends in Las Noches, so much of his time he spent alone. He could go days by himself, but Shiro was always there, and he would respond without a second thought.

Ichigo had returned late once, and after that he swore he would never do it again. Aizen had slammed him into the wall and had claimed that if it were to ever happen again he would lift the security from Ichigo's family.

xXxXXxXXxXx

When Ichigo returned to his bedroom, looking forward to his dinner, he was gravely disappointed to see the servant arrancar standing there empty-handed. She bowed to him as he entered.

"Where's my dinner?" Ichigo demanded. He hadn't eaten today and had been looking forward to his meal.

The arrancar bowed ever deeper. "I'm very sorry, Kurosaki-sama. However, Aizen-sama insisted that you join him for dinner tonight."

Ichigo groaned inwardly. "Alright, you can tell Aizen that I'll be down in a couple of minutes."

The arrancar lifted herself and swiftly scurried out the door, she was no stranger to his temperament. He growled lowly after her, and slammed the door. She was the only one, beside Aizen, who called him by his name, yet he assured that she was frightened of him. _Aizen-sama's Monster_, that's what the rest of them called him. It had bothered him at first, but he'd decided that it was just as well. He wasn't here to try to get these people to like him. Largely, he was avoided. In the beginning several Fraccion had gone after him, thinking he was some joke, he'd sent them all to the infirmary heavily wounded. He'd had to prove that he wasn't somebody to mess around with.

_"Holding your meal hostage, how cruel." _Shiro said.

Ichigo dropped himself onto the bed and sank into the plush there. "He probably has somewhere new he'd like me to terrorize."

_"Oh, joy. I'm sure you'd just love that..." _

"I do what I have to," He sighed. Then Ichigo rolled over and crawled to where the bed met the wall, all along here he had an array of pictures tacked up. He removed one of the tacs and took down his favorite picture, it was a picture of Rukia standing on the street. All these pictures he'd printed from Aizen's giant computer, they were from the security footage of Karakura town. He'd spent hours running through the footage, looking for familiar faces. This one was his favorite because it was the clearest one of Rukia, all the others were blurred or at bad angles. In this one she seemed to be almost looking at the camera.

"If I didn't have her love, then I don't think I could do this." Ichigo muttered, running his fingers yearningly across the photo. "I probably would have done things a lot differently."

_"I can imagine."_

"I shouldn't keep that man waiting, he can have a temper when he wants to." Ichigo quickly put the photo back in its spot. He pulled himself together mentally, and preceded downstairs, towards the dining room. He opened the double doors to find Aizen alone at the head of the long table, save the collection of servant arrancars taking posts about the room.

"Ah, you made it." Aizen motioned to the servants to bring in the food, then he turned back to Ichigo and directed him to the seat on his right. "I know that you prefer to eat alone, but please, indulge me."

Without a word, he took his seat. Drinks were poured and placed before them. Then platters, with a variety of dishes, were placed steaming before them.

"If you would allow yourself to be more socialable, I think you'd find that you aren't so different from the arrancar. You might be able to find some companionship here." Aizen began lightly, as he began cutting a slab of steak-like meat into slices.

"I'm not here to make friends. I'm here for one reason, and one reason only. If this is all you wanted me for, I'd like to go back to being shut up in my room, if I may." He poked at the food with the prongs of his fork, preparing himself to give up his meal if it would be necessary to leave. He'd rather go hungry than sit here and listen to Aizen spout for an hour, something he'd endured before.

"Thus far I have exculded you from my search for the Hougyoku, because of your obvious conflict of interest. But I know now who has the information I'm looking for, and I'd like you to help me with them." Aizen said, ignoring his request.

Ichigo's eyes grew dark. "Rukia stays out of this."

"I promised you that she would be left out of this, and I have kept my word. She is not the one I have in mind. This being said, I think you should be aware that things are going to be coming to head. I suspect this will lead us to the Hougyoku and then everything will be set in motion." Aizen smirked as he said this. "I'll be sending you on this mission tomorrow night."

Ichigo took a sip of the drink they'd set before him, it seemed to be some sort of wine. There were, of course, no laws about giving minors alchohol here, but he passed it up just the same. He stared down at his food a little more, contimplating, and then looked back up at Aizen. "If that's the case, that we're almost to the end, then I think that I might visit my family before things become real hectic."

Aizen finished a forkful, and replied. "I never said you weren't allowed to do anything of the sort."

"I know. I've held myself back for the longest time..."

"But perhaps it would give you a boost to get through what is to come?" Aizen surmised.

"Yes, something like that." Ichigo agreed, and he finally decided he would just ride this out and eat his dinner. The thought of visiting his family made his heart race, he'd been watching them all this time but he'd never allowed himself to visit. He hadn't trusted himself to be able to walk away a second time. "When is my mission tomorrow?"

"Ten o'clock."

"I can have the rest of tomorrow free then?"

"Yes, you may."

xXxXxXXxXxXx

Rukia stared emptily at her reflection in the mirror, in its nakedness it seemed too pale and scrawny. _Worth so little... _She shook her head, trying not to allow her mind to fall into that self-degrading rut again. She shrugged on the top of her shihakushou and pulled on her hakama.

She had not made it back to the World of the Living in time, the Onmitsukidou had already struck, and Ichigo had already left. She had felt so empty. She still felt empty. How could she feel anything else when, with him, she had felt so much more than she ever had before?

Rukia tied her oobi belt, with a small sigh. She hoped that her absence had not been this difficult for him, when she had neglected to visit for almost two years. She had no idea where he was or how he was doing, and it made her guts churn with anxiety whenever she thought about it for too long. He had to leave everything behind, she knew how difficult it must have been, and her mind wanted to insist that it was her fault.

She sucked in a deep breath before she wound up crying again. Who was she kidding? Of course it was her fault. She'd seen the footage, when they'd interrogated her for the three days following the attack. The morning they had walked through those woods together, the Onmitsukidou had recordings of it. That question haunted her, _what does it feel like... becoming that creature? _She couldn't be sure if that is what ultimately condemned him or not, they wouldn't answer her questions. It could have been a million other things, it probably had been unavoidable that they'd figure it out eventually, but it still haunted her.

Rukia lived in a cold house where her failures seemed prominent and her triumphs inconsequential. From that notebook Ichigo had, which she read so many years ago, she knew that her brother had the potential to be different. Really, he had a softer heart than he let on. But she didn't know how to reach out to that part of him, and so their relationship remained a distant one.

She fastened her tabi and left her room for the hallway. Servants bowed their heads briefly as she passed, but none spoke. She wound her way through the large house, and when she finally found the door it felt almost freeing. Even though she had not been punished after her interrogation, it had brought her shame in the eyes of the Kuchiki family. For a couple of days afterward, she was certain they were going to disown her.

She ran down the tiled street, hoping that she would be able to find some amount of refuge, or a distraction at least, with the 13th Division. The past year-and-a-half the Seireitei had been plagued by a powerful hollow. They didn't have a lot of information on it, and they never seemed to be able to detect it when it was there, so they called it 'The Ghost'. The attacks just happened, that was the simplest way to put it. There were never any witnesses because everyone in the vicinity was killed, no one had ever made it away from an attack. Its appreance seemed both planned and sporadic, it never hit the same Division twice, and yet seemed absolutely random what time and which one.

So she was frightened when she turned the corner to the 13th Division Barracks and found there lined with bodies, each covered in a black blanket. There was a solemn bustle, and she saw more bodies being carried in from further on.

Ukitake was there, talking frantically to the Captain of the 2nd Division.

"What about the survelliance? I thought we were monitoring all the streets by now!" He cried, frustratedly.

Soi Fon had her arms folded in irritation. "We do have cameras up on all the main roads, but do you realize how many cameras it will take to cover the whole Seireitei? The 12th Division can't produce them fast enough. The Ghost seems to know where all the blind spots are. I have my men on watch all over, but those in the vicinity during the attack are killed as well."

"What am I supposed to do to protect my men? I had everyone in large groups, I thought they'd be safer that way, but I just wound up with more causulties."

"Orders are that from now on all unranked officers are not to leave the main streets, and seated officers, including Captains, are to begin patrolling the side paths in areas where attacks are most likely to occur."

Ukitake nodded his head, very solemnly. "With any luck that will prevent any more casualties."

"Now, if you don't mind, I have other things to take care of." She unfolded her arms, glanced over at the 13th Division Captain one more time, and flashed away.

Ukitake seemed to then notice Rukia wavering with shock on the corner of the street and approached her.

"Well, it got us." Ukitake sighed tiredly. "Twenty-three men down."

xXxXXxXXxXXxXx

_Ichigo stood before Aizen on the street that ran alongside the river, he had scrubbed the tears from his face but he'd left behind streaks of dirt and blood in their place. _

_"Well, well," Aizen smirked. "You came after all."_

_"I'll come with you," Ichigo stated, and then his voice grew stronger and he stared the man hard in the eyes. "But I will not bow my head to you, I will not call you 'Aizen-sama'."_

_"Very well," Aizen replied._

_"And if you're going to have me fight for you, then there are three more people you need to leave out of this, that you need to keep alive; Inoue Orihime, Arisawa Tatsuki, and Kuchiki Rukia."_

_"You've got your own little Harem," Aizen laughed, but Ichigo remained unamussed, guarded. "Alright, they will remain protected as long as you complete your side of the deal."_

Ichigo rubbed his face exhaustedly, and tried to pull his mind away from the past. There was no use lingering on things that had happened. He had made his decision, and he had to remain commited to it or everything would be for naught. Some days, most days, he couldn't even believe that he'd agreed to this.

He wandered over the closet, across from the foot of his bed. He didn't have many possessions, save his collection of photos, so the closet served one purpose. He opened the door and was greated by the strange sight of himself, slumped against the corner. It was his human body, its hair was now overgrown in a shaggy mess over the face, the nails were also very long. He hefted it out into the room, and laid it across the bed. It had been such a long time... he hadn't entered his body since he'd left it on his birthday three years ago. Still, it seemed connected to him in a way because it was not the body of a twelve-year-old, it had grown along with him.

_"You're gonna get in that dingy thing?" _Shiro laughed from inside his head.

Ichigo retrieved a pair of nail clippers from the armoire and sat down beside his body. "I have to, if I want them to see me."

_"Are you sure that you want to go back there, I mean... to let them see you?"_

"I'm excited." He muttered, carefully trimming back the nails.

_"I can feel that. But I can also feel your panic."_

Ichigo didn't say anything, but the thoughts and the feelings were enough.

_"I see... you're ashamed. If things really are coming up to the end, this could be the last time you see them, and without having achieved your ultimate goal, you will stand before them as a traitor. Because all you have accomplished in the last three years is the slaughter of over a hundred shinigami."_

"Something like that." He replied.

xXxXXxXXxXXx

_It's quiet... _Masaki had always been fond of a lively house, but the house stood in a quiet that was so thurough if she held her breath she could hear the faint buzz the electronics made. She idly drew a knife from the block, knowing she had things to cut for dinner, but her mind wasn't fully attentive. The microwave claimed it was almost five, the girls would be home soon. Things wouldn't feel so lonely then. She wished that Isshin would hurry up with his paperwork and come into the house, she hated being alone.

She hated being alone nowadays because she knew that she wasn't capable at all with seeing or feeling _those_ sort of things, and when she was alone he could be standing right infront of her and she wouldn't have a clue.

Masaki set down the knife with a shuddered sigh, and glanced around the empty house, remembering when it was filled with the high-pitch laughter of her children. The girls were growing up, and Ichigo was gone. They told everyone who asked, friends and neighboors, that he'd gone to live with an Aunt in the states. Good for him, that's what most of them responded with. _He didn't belong here anyway, _Masaki always felt was implied by such a statement, but she wasn't sure if that was the intended sentiment or not. They couldn't understand how cruel their smiles felt, but to them he was studying abroad, he was lucky. She hated repeating this lie, it was always 'Good for him', and her mind would scream 'How can they even say that?!'. But they didn't know the truth, they didn't see his face, that look in his eyes as he tried to explain to her what he was about to do.

She glanced over to the clinic door and prayed Isshin would come in soon so that he could help her occupy her mind. Then a knocking resounding through the depth of the silence, the unexpected noise made her jump. She quickly undid her apron and hung it on its hook, before moving across to the door. She completely froze when she opened the door, her mind not ready to register who stood before her.

"Hey, Mom." Ichigo greeted, a slight but affectionate smile. He was standing there before her.

Masaki's mind finally seemed to comprehend who she was looking at, her hand moved up to her mouth as she gasped. Then in the next second she had her arms flung around him. "Oh God! Oh, Thank God! Ichigo!"

She cried and laughed as she finally pulled away and looked him up and down. He wasn't a kid anymore. He was taller than her, his shoulders were broad, and his arms were strong. "Look at you! You've gotten so old! What a handsome young man you've turned into..."

His mother faltered more deeply into tears and he wrapped his arms comfortingly around her. It was strange how she now felt so small.

"Have you been taking good care of yourself?" Masaki breathed, regaining control. Her thoughts insisted that this had to be a dream.

"I have been," He assured, releasing her.

"Please, would you come inside?" She requested. He nodded and followed her into the house. Things hadn't changed much. There were some new photos hung up, the tv was now a large, flat-screen. Some of the furniture had been changed out, like the dining room set. But otherwise - it was home.

Masaki scurried over and rapped on the clinic door, she didn't bother poking her head out because she didn't dare to let her son out of her sight.

All the rooms here were much smaller than those in Las Noches, a fact he'd sort of forgotten about. But it was cozy, he decided, compared to the large, empty, often lonely spaces. Then Isshin entered from the clinic door to see what all the ruckus was about.

At first it looked as though his father was going to cry, but then he became very gruff. "Three years? You disappear for three years and think that you can just show up out of the blue? Do you realize how hard it was on everyone for you to just leave like that?"

"Isshin!" Masaki protested.

Ichigo's eyes became very cold. "Are you kidding me? What was I supposed to do?"

"It's been three years! You couldn't even manage to leave a note or something, let us know you were doing okay? Do you know how sick it makes your mother, how sick it makes me, wondering about you? We go to bed every night wondering did he get enough to eat today? Does he have somewhere decent to sleep tonight? Is he okay, is he hurt, is he alive?!" Isshin stared at him intensly.

"A note, huh?" Ichigo scoffed. "It's so fucking simple, isn't it? Yeah, Dad, I could have left a note. Then I would've left another, and another, and another. If I could do that then surely something a little more wouldn't hurt, I'd have visited, and visited, and I would not be able to leave. Do you realize how important this family is to me?! Don't you understand how hard it is for me to stay away, to watch everyone living their lives, and have to keep myself on the outside of it all?! I would have loved nothing more than to write, Dad, but I have to hold myself back. I wish everyone didn't have to worry about me. I wish that I could come home, but I can't with _this fucking bounty on my head."_

His voice falter to the hollow reverberation for a moment. The two men glared at each other, then Ichigo forced himself to mellow down. He could be too easy to rile up nowadays, and it got more and more difficult to wind down from it.

"I'm sorry, Dad." He apologized.

Isshin looked up at the empty corner of the ceiling and sighed. "I'm sorry, too, that was inconsiderate."

"This hasn't been easy on anyone," Masaki inserted, daring to draw closer now that the intensity had died down.

"I saw you and it just made me really mad that another man had made my wife cry." Isshin admitted. "You really shot up there."

"I know, I'm tall now." Ichigo replied, and things felt awkward between them. His mother placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, as though to also apologize for his father.

"So listen, I've got my reiatsu hidden right now," He motioned to the black head band that he had instead tied around his upper arm. It was best to move the conversation forward. "But I don't want to push my luck, so I'll only be staying for a few hours. I don't want to waste my time answering a ton of questions either, so you're going to sort of just have to let somethings go for now, okay?"

_"Lucky they took the cameras around here down, I'm sure they needed all they could get in the Seireitei." _Shiro commented.

His mother seemed to shrink, "Just a few hours?"

Isshin wrapped his arm around his wife comfortingly. "He's right, we've just got to be happy for this right now."

"Well... the girls will be home soon. Would you like me to call Tatsuki, I'm sure she would love to see you." Masaki tried to pull herself together.

"I'll see her next time, besides, she's got a big test tomorrow and I don't want to mess up her concentration." He brushed off the suggestion. Ichigo wandered into the kitchen, his fingers tracing the familiar surfaces. It was so familiar and yet so different to what he was used to now-a-days.

His parents had both meandered after him, giving him space for a moment but not wanting him to leave their sight.

"So, what's for dinner, Mom?" He asked.

"Oh! I was just making some udon. I could make something else, if you'd like."

"That sounds great."

Masaki reached up and ran her fingers through his hair with an affectionate smile. "Your hair is all choppy."

"I tried to cut it myself before I came." He replied, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious.

"Let me fix it for you."

He was going to tell her that there was no need, because who knew how long it would be before he used his body again, but he stopped himself. He couldn't say that to her, so he nodded. "Later, kay?"

His mother nodded, and she wondered back over to the counter where she'd set out her vegetables, attempting to work on dinner while he was in the kitchen. Her heart beat hard and fast, her hands trembled as she began to work the knife. There had been many times she had wondered if she would ever see him again. When he had left, he'd been adament to assure her that he would be alright, but still she wondered.

Isshin took the moment to reapproach his son. In the moment it had been easier to yell at him, than to allow himself to cry. But he regretted that.

"I'm sorry, kiddo," His father ruffled his hair and then pulled him into a tight hug. "I really have missed you."

"I've missed you too, Dad." He returned the hug stifly.

xXxXXxXXxXXxXx

Karin and Yuzu were laughing, chatting idly about their day at school as they came in the front door. But silence fell quickly on them. If it hadn't been for the bright orange color of his hair, they might have wondered - _who is that strange teenager talking to Mama? _

"Ichi-nii!" Yuzu screamed, disposed her school bag on the floor, and flung herself onto him. "Ichi-nii, you're back!"

Karin was a little more reluctant, a little more cautious in her approach. He seemed so different, so surreal.

"Hey, there! Yuzu, Karin." He returned Yuzu's hug firmly. "I've missed you both." His voice was deep and masculine.

"Is it really you, Ichigo?" Karin slowly set her school bag in the chair at the table and stared at him intently. Her memory of him wasn't the best, it was only three years but her memories of him were fuzzy. It was a painful fact, something she'd struggled with. This was her brother, Kurosaki Ichigo - the super hero. She hated how she remembered all the bad parts, all the scary things that happened to him. She remember those last few days the best, praying he would return from fighting this horrible monster, and how when he did come home he was so bashed up. She had never seen someone so injured before, or since that (which was saying something, because her family ran a clinic). He was so fragile that she hadn't been allowed to go near him for several hours.

Then after that, how those ninjas had appeared in their house on his birthday, how their parents had dragged them out of the house leaving Ichigo all alone in there. It had been so incredibly frightening, she'd been sent to a neighbors, and when they came back the next thing she knew they were telling her that Ichigo had left them. He'd just gone away. She had been so so angry with their parents. First they left him alone to face those swords, and then they just let him leave?! How cruel was that, they wouldn't do anything to protect him. They couldn't protect him, that's what her father tried to explain to her, but it didn't seem to her like they had even tried. One moment they were telling her how badly Ichigo needed their support, and then in next they just let him leave. He seemed to take everything that had been scary with him, but how unfair! How could they just let him leave like that?

Then, over time, he seemed to become more of a fiction to her. She wondered on occasion, half-mindedly, if he had even exsisted with his monsters and his powers.

"It's me, Karin." He stated, his amber eyes met hers. They were strong, yet tired. Affectionate, yet somehow also cold. He was strong, she could tell by the look of him, he had more muscle than she'd ever seen on a fifteen-year-old. Not to mention that his whole appearance had an almost rough feel to it, and you knew just by looking at him that he had endured many fights.

That was it then. They couldn't protect him, so they had him take his fate into his own hands. They had him take his monsters, and his powers, and his threatening ninja foes somewhere else where they all wouldn't be in the way. They had left him alone to face it.

Yuzu finally released him, and he moved to stand infront of Karin.

"It's me." He said again, as she continued to just stare at him in bewilderment.

"Where have you been?" Karin asked. It had been hard on the whole family when he left, but Karin had never really been able to accept what her parents had told her. For all she knew (she had sometimes wondered this), the ninjas had gotten him and her parents hadn't had the heart to say so. "Where did you go? Why... why are you here now?"

"Karin, sweety, your brother has come by for a visit. He doesn't want to be bothered by a bunch of question." Masaki inserted carefully.

"I don't get it. How can you all be so calm?" Karin gapped. _Don't they realize how lonely they must be making him feel? They just expect him to leave again, they're not going to try to stop him, they're not going to assure him that it's okay for him stay?! _His arms moved around her in a hug, and she could feel the awkwardness in the movement, the lack of familiarity as though he'd forgotten how to complete the motion naturally.

She clung onto him tightly as she began to choke up the angry tears she'd held back for three years.

xXxXXxXXxXx

After Dinner Masaki took Ichigo upstairs to see his old bedroom, although she didn't act like it was anything other than his room (as though he still lived there). It was exactly how he left it, it had been vacuumed and dusted, but otherwise everything was the same.

"It seems like a depressing waste of space," Ichigo muttered, and then a little more loudly. "You ought to change it into a study or a family room... or something."

"Why would we do that?" His mother asked flatly, she didn't dare even think about it.

Ichigo would have argued with her why it was ridiculous to keep this space sanctioned for him, but just then his eyes caught a picture just above his desk. He carefully removed the tacs and held the drawing up, it was a crudly done picture of himself as a rabbit.

"That's the one Rukia did of you, on your Twelfth birthday." Masaki affirmed.

He chuckled a little bit, remembering that moment. She had told him he was cute, and it had been so adorable to watch her say it too, with her cheeks all pink. He carefully folded the picture up and put it in his pocket, he would hang it up with the photos beside his bed. It felt like his time here was going too fast, and then he would be back in that dull empty place. Even once he finally killed Aizen, he didn't know that he'd be able to come home again. It wasn't like the mighty Gotei 13 would pardon him for wrecking havoc and killing their men. Returning to being a human wasn't an option anymore.

"Thanks for everything, Mom." He stated. "Before I left, for a little while there, you made me feel really accepted and understood, and I appreciatte that. That, and everything else you ever did for me. You gave me a good childhood."

She didn't reply, she was trying too hard not to cry. Her mind protested, _but you're still a child! _But he wasn't, not really, not anymore. He was making his own way in a world that was foreign and cruel, and although he was alive and healthy, it had hardened his eyes. She had noticed earlier how his muscles would tense when someone moved too quickly, an intense alertedness. Now more than ever, it clawed at her that there was nothing she could do about it.

_It's ruining him, and I can't do anything about it. _She thought, and then tried to reject the thought because she did not want to think of him as being ruined. But that's how it was, he didn't smile like he used to, and in the moments he made a point to smile at someone, it was so disconnected feeling. There had been a couple of times when it had been real, like when he had seen that picture. But he couldn't seem to fake it anymore.

"We had better not keep everyone waiting." She finally said.

xXxXXxXXxXXxXx

His whole family was standing around the dining room table, talking. He had to reiterate a couple of times that he didn't want to answer a bunch of questions, but otherwise it was enjoyable. The twins excitedly told him everything they could think of that had happened while he was gone. He already knew about half of what they were saying, but he didn't say anything because he liked to hear them talk. They were actually talking to him, it was not the same as listening to them chatting with their friends.

_"Pay attention to the time, Ou-chan. It's getting late and we can't afford to be late again." _ Shiro pressed.

Ichigo glanced at the clock on the dining room wall with a weighty sigh. "I know, I know... It's not quite ten yet, I've got a few more minutes. It wont take me long to get back there."

"You're leaving?" Masaki asked, confusedly. He didn't seem to be speaking directly to anyone there.

"There's somewhere I have to be in a little bit." Ichigo replied, apologetically. He would have liked to stay for a while longer. But perhaps if he didn't have to go, then the wouldn't have had the will to leave his home a second time.

His mother latched onto his arm and stared imploringly up into his eyes (as he was quite a bit taller than her now). "Please, please tell me it's not going to be another three years before I get to see you again."

"I'll come again as soon as I can, I promise." He assured. Then the twins tackled him with fierce hugs.

"Don't go, Ichi-nii!" Yuzu cried.

He returned the hugs tightly, placing his hands on the backs of their heads. "I'm sorry, but I have to."

"I'm not going to let go, I'm not going to let you go anywhere." Karin claimed defiantly.

"It's always been this way, hasn't it?" Isshin stated, he placed a comforting hand on Karin's shoulder. "He's left before, but he'll come home again, he always does." He gently drew the girls off their brother. With that they all said their goodbyes and he found himself walking out that door feeling so much more human than he had in a long time. It was sort of odd to have revisited his home, to see everything that he had missed out, to see a glimpse of what he had lost.

Ichigo had to shove back the anger that rolled up on him, and the dark thoughts that assured him the Gotei 13 deserved everything he had done to them. With a deep breath he managed to calm himself down.

"They don't even know that Aizen is still alive." Ichigo muttered, turning back to look at his house.

_"Ignorance is bliss has always been your policy with them," _Shiro stated. _"Your father was sorta right when he said it's always been this way."_

"I guess so, in someways things haven't really changed." He replied. "Now, let's go. We've got some special mission tonight."

xXxXXxXXxXx

Ukitake leaned back in his chair with a heavy sigh. He twisted his fingers and wrists around, trying to ebb away the cramping. _Paperwork, _he thought sourly. His eyes dared to wander up to the clock for the fiftieth time in the past hour. He was so far behind, and it was getting so late.

"It wont hurt to take a little break and get a breath of fresh air." Ukitake said as he allowed himself to leave his desk. There was always paperwork, afterall, and not always such a beautiful, full moon out.

He wandered out of his office and onto the stone steps outside, which wound into a small garden area which was perfect for having tea in, or for watching the cherry blossoms in the spring. He smiled up at the moon, and then his smile fell and his hand moved to the hilt of his zanpakutou.

"Who's there?" He asked the dark of the trees. There was no reiatsu signature, but he'd heard the faint crunch of underbush.

A tall figure emerged, a man who wore a shinigami's shihakushou. Ukitake knew in his gut that he knew this person, though he couldn't place him. Then the bright moonlight alit the auburn hair, and he knew who this was.

"Ichigo-kun?" Ukitake asked, carefully.

"Ukitake-san," Ichigo regarded. He approached very slowly, and then stopped five feet away. Ukitake covered two feet so that they weren't terribly apart from each other.

"Being a fugitive hasn't been kind to you." It was a sad sort of humor. His eyes were deeply cold now, Ukitake noted, none of the bright enthusiam remained from the last time they had seen each other. He had been rather fond of Ichigo, the brazen youngster who'd been so set on saving the world.

Ichigo didn't offer response to this.

"How about you come inside with me, I'll get you something hot to drink. Perhaps there's something I can do for you." Ukitake offered his hand out to Ichigo.

Ichigo reached out, but instead of taking his hand Ichigo stabbed a syringe into his arm. Ukitake had his sword out before the syringe was pulled out, but his vision was already going out of focus.

"The Ghost, that's you then, isn't it?" Ukitake heaved as he toppled forward from the heavy seditive.

"Sorry for this." Ichigo caught him before he hit the ground, and hefted the Captain over his shoulder. He dragged his fingers through the air and pulled the Garganta open.

xXxXXxXXxXXxXx

Rukia was laying on her cot in the barracks, partially relieved to be out of the Kuchiki household for the night. But at the same time she felt uneasy after her squad had been hit hard by The Ghost. She had been given a dozen menial tasks to complete these last two days, and she was certain it was the Captain's way of keeping her away from the disaster. She didn't get it. She didn't need coddling, she was a shinigami, she could handle it. But he had pressed that she would be more useful elsewhere.

She scoffed aloud. Why was he looking down on her now? She was stronger now than she had ever been.

Unable to sleep, Rukia finally slipped out of bed and slipped on the black top of her shihakushou. She wondered around the barracks, hoping she would begin to feel tired.

She remembered then how Renji had told her, on one of their brief visits, about the bodies they'd recovered when there was an attack in the 6th Division. The hollow could not be detected, he had said, but the reiatsu in the wounds on the bodies was intensly dark. Curiosity sparked inside her and she directed herself to the part of the building were the bodies were being processed.

She slipped past the guards, who were lazing about playing cards and drinking sake, and into the room where nine of the bodies remained covered in black blankets. The rest of them had been burned, but these men were waiting to be transfered to family graves. She approached the nearest one, pulled the blanket down to reveal the battered, seemingly sleeping figure of someone she had seen around the barracks before.

Then the dark feeling of the reiatsu from the sword wounds struck her. It was the intense, sinister reiatsu Renji had described, but it was more than that... it was familiar.

"Ichigo," She whispered. Her hands grazed the air about the wound, shifting through the reiatsu.

He had lost himself to the hollow, she realized. Because he was not a vengeful person, he would not do this on his own accord. He must have lost himself to the dark thoughts, as he'd described it, and this was his intent of revenge.

Rukia felt tears streaming down her cheeks and she wipped at them, but the effort was futile.

"I'll save you," She choked. "I'll protect you this time, Ichigo. I'm going to bring you back from it."

**Chapter End**


	11. In the Name of God

**Chapter 11 - In the Name of God**

Ukitake sat slumped against the wall of his cell, hands idle in his lap as he felt the ache pulsing throughout his body. At the moment it was bareable, a rememberance of the torture he'd endured a couple of hours before. The strange thing was that the boy, his capture, had come to sit across from the cell. It had been the same way yesterday and the day before. Ichigo had entered, sat against the wall across from Ukitake, and sat there in silence for an hour or so before leaving. He never said anything, even when Ukitake had attempted to make him speak. Ukitake had yelled, screeched at him, and he had tried to reason with him too. They just wound up staring at each other, but even when there was eye contact it lacked any sort of connection.

"I can't completely blame you," He attempted this time. "I understand, in a way, why you're here."

Of course, there was no response to this.

"After you fought so hard against Aizen, against our enemy... You were willing to risk your life to defeat him, because he was the bad guy and the world needed to be saved from him." Ukitake paused a moment to take a deep breath. "Then we came after you, on your home front too. We became the bad guys. You sort of expected that the Gotei 13 wouldn't be accepting of your exsistence, if I remember correctly... but I expect that you hoped otherwise after it seemed like you had defeated Aizen. But it was instead decided it was only safe if you were dead too. I know that we didn't leave you with many options. So I can't really blame you for winding up here."

Still silence.

"I did try to fight for you, I do want you to know that, so did Unohana when I told her. I know I didn't accomplish anything, I couldn't change the order because I couldn't prove that you weren't dangerous."

Ichigo rose to his feet this time, he approached the bars of the cell. The two stared at each other, this time there seemed to be a momentary connection, fading ripplets of some intense emotion.

"Tell him where it is." Ichigo stated, and then with that he left.

Ukitake stared after the echoing footsteps, wondering what the purpose of it all was.

xXxXXxXXxXx

It was Saturday, Tatsuki and Orihime had ventured out to the mall for some window shopping and to check out this ice cream parlor Orihime wanted to go to because she'd heard they offered strange flavors like Sweet Corn and Octopus. They had ventured through most of the stores and were now walking through the food court with their ice cream cones. Tatsuki had stuck with the fairly common flavor of pepprmint candy, Orihime had taken a leap of faith (as she had called it) and ordered basil flavored ice cream. It seemed prefectly suited to her tastes.

Tatsuki spotted the Kurosaki twins across the way, a group of friends with them all seemed to be crowded around some photo. She found herself drawn towards them, her mind beginning to drown out Orihime's nonsensical rant.

"He looks tough," One of their friends commented.

_A boyfriend? _Tatsuki wondered ammusedly, she decided to approach the group. "Got yourself a boyfriend, Yuzu-chan?"

Yuzu's eyes darted up to meet hers, she didn't seem embarassed, but suddenly very uneasy. Yuzu shook her head slowly as she reluctantly relinquished the picture to Tatsuki, she knew it wasn't going to be easy for her to see. Tasuki took the photo, confused by the girl's reaction, until she saw what it was a photo of.

"Ichigo..." She breathed. "Has he... is he back?"

"He came to visit a couple nights ago," Yuzu responded. They had managed to talk Ichigo into taking a picture with everyone before he left, and Yuzu had clung onto it every since her father had printed her a copy the following day.

"I don't get why he'd bother taking a plane all the way from America only to stop by for a few hours." One of Yuzu's friends was saying, but Tatsuki's mind was too far away to hear her. She couldn't believe she was staring at an image of him, after so long. He had left, and he had taken the strange world of his with him. Even Orihime claimed that she didn't see any monsters or such things, and Tatsuki had felt that somehow he was still keeping his promise to protect her from that.

"He was passing through, on his way to some where else." Karin quickly inserted, inwardly grumbling about why her twin sister felt it necessary to bring this photo along.

"May I?" Orihime requested. Without a word, Tatsuki handed it over. Orihime's face alit red when she saw it. She had liked him before, but now he was tall, handsome, and muscular. It made her blush madly, she quickly passed the picture back, holding in the urge to squeal. "He's really grown up, hasn't he?"

"I'm sure we have too. I mean, your boobs have doubled in size every year since we met." Tatsuki joked, but it was to put up a front. Seeing him had overwhelmed her with a lot of emotions she didn't really know how to deal with. Part of her was screaming curses at him for not coming to see her too, and another part of her seemed to be thanking the high heavens she hadn't had to face him. It wasn't that she was angry with him, but more like she knew she would've simply broken down, like how she felt now. Would she scream at him? Would she punch him? Would she cry? Would she hug him tightly, so tightly, and attempt to comfort him? Would he be the same as how she remembered? Would he be too different in his personality - unrecognizeable?

Tatsuki gave the picture back to Yuzu.

"Are you alright, Tatsuki?" Yuzu squeaked.

Tatsuki nodded emptily, her forgotten icecream began dripping down her hand. "Seeing him... it's just hard..."

One of their friends scoffed. "I know, right? He sure is lucky - just getting to travel around where he wants like that. You guys must be jealous."

"Shut up!" Karin shouted before she could stop herself. Her friends shot her strange, disapproving looks. "Just shut up!"

"What's the big deal?" Another friend asked.

"Why did you even bring _this_?" Karin demanded, rounding on Yuzu. Her annoyance was too overwhelming to bite her tongue any longer. She was just able to stop herself from refering to the picture as being stupid.

"I wanted to show everyone Ichi-nii." Yuzu pouted at her twin, who was clearly upset by it. "What's wrong with that?"

Karin opened her mouth but no words came out. How could she possibly explain it, how it was killing her to watch everyone gawk at him. She couldn't stand listening to everyone talk about him as though he was just fine. They didn't understand, they didn't understand at all, and their words felt so harsh. She couldn't express it, so instead she ran before she just took her anger out on everyone. She burst out the side doors of the mall and collapsed against the side of the building, hands pressed to her eyes as she willed herself not to cry.

She felt so sorry for him, her big brother who fought to save the world. The same world that was so awful to him. He deserved so much more than he got, he was always so kind, so loving, so brave.

His birthday presents, that he never got to open, were tucked away at the top of his closet. She knew, because she had seen them there. To her it had remained a representation of him, affirmation that he had exsisted, affirmation that this world was cruel. When she had first been learning to make her own bed, sometimes she would have to go into his room to get new sheets from the closet, and she could see a hint of the wrapping paper poking from the highest shelf, and she would cry.

She hated her parents for it, but more than that - she hated herself. She couldn't do anything for him. So weak. So useless. Even as she admired him so much, loved him so much. There was nothing she could do.

The door swung with a creak, and latched back shut with a heavy shudder.

Karin burrowed her palms more deeply into her eyes as she willed the tears away.

"Karin-chan?" It was Tatsuki.

"Leave me alone," The younger girl pleaded.

"You know what, I get it," Tatsuki claimed, her tone gentle. She lowered herself down against the wall so they were sitting next to each other. "It's not easy to hear people talking about him when they don't know the truth of it."

"I hate it! I hate it! It's not fair!" Karin screeched, kicking her feet angrily at the concrete. "It's not fair that he has to have all this responsibility, and yet he's not allowed to come home."

"It isn't fair," Tatsuki agreed.

"It's awful, he hugged me, and I could tell it was like he wasn't used to hugging people, it was awkward. It's so sad, it makes me feel so sad for him." Tears managed to escape past her palms. "And I don't understand, not really. It feels so cruel that he has to stay away. My parents have tried to explain it, but it just makes me feel like they're such awful people. I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't. I know they can't do anything about it, but I don't understand, not really."

"Well, Karin-chan, we haven't really talked about your brother before. We were best friends since he was five. I might not understand everything either, but maybe I'll have some answers for you." Tatsuki offered.

"I can see ghosts," She admitted, breathing deep to calm herself. "I know he could see them too."

"Yes, and there were the monsters, _hollows _he called them."

"Hollows," Karin repeated. She finally allowed her hands to fall into her lap, revealing her red, sorrowful eyes. "I haven't seen any monsters. I sort of remember that Ichigo could do this thing where it was like he was a ghost. I remember seeing his body laying there before and knowing that he wasn't actually there."

"That's how it was when he had to fight. The people and the monsters he fought were ghosts, and I guess it was like he had to be a ghost to fight them too. A shinigami, that's right... I almost forgot - that's what your brother is, what makes him so strange and so special. He said he used to just be a human that could see, but he became a shinigami. He never told me what happened to change him."

"A Death God?" Karin asked, she looked up at Tatsuki imploringly. If she had realized that Tatsuki knew more about her brother than her parents did (or were willing to discus) she would've started asking questions a long time ago. "Do you know what that means? Did he tell you?"

Tatsuki figured that so few people in this world cared about him, those who did deserved to know at least as much as she did. "He was a little vague, he said it meant he had responsibilities to those who'd passed and the power to uphold those responsibilities."

"Did you ever see him use his powers? What sort of power did he have?"

"I didn't really ever see him, because I can't see him when he's out of his body. I saw him leave his body once, it was like a really strong gust of wind came off of him, threw me back it was so strong. Then his body just fell forward." Tatsuki said, trying hard to remember. "There was this one time, though, I walked into the room when he was getting ready to use some sort of power. His eyes were glowing this intense blue color, I remember it was like the air around him began turning blue as well."

"What else, please, what else do you know about him? I was just little and I don't remember him so well. Anything you know, please tell me." Karin requested. At home, talking about Ichigo always made her mother cry, even when it was insisted that it was okay to talk about him. Even when she dared to, how often did she find answers?

"Growing up, your brother was always bullied because of his hair and his general strangeness. It was something he struggled with his whole life. People just didn't get him, and they hated him for it. But you know, sometimes it shocked me just how happy he was. Even after he started seeing the hollows. He said that just seeing you guys washed everything away. He had just a great, big smile."

"I remember," Karin hugged her knees to her chest.

"At some point, I don't remember exactly when it started... I think it was probably those last couple of years before he left... he had this black notebook that he carried everywhere with him. He'd keep it tucked under his shirt. Or sometimes I'd find him sitting there, just hugging it to his chest. He never explained its significance to me, or let me see what was written in there, but it was clearly very important to him."

"Really?" Karin asked. She felt a spark of hope, perhaps it would hold answers for her.

"He tended to be quite adament about keeping people in the dark. I'm sure there was a lot of stuff he had to deal with that he didn't tell anyone about. It's just sort of always been that way. He hated having people worry about him when he came home. I think he left because things hit too close to home. After your Mom got hurt - "

"Mama got hurt, when those ninjas came?"

"Yeah. I guess she tried to protect him or something. No offense, but Ichigo loved her, really really loved her. I'm sure he was horrifired, probably still beats himself up over it. For him, something like that was too much. I believe, ultimately, that's why he left."

Karin looked up at the sky, the brightness stinging at her eyes. So it wasn't that her brother left because her parents wouldn't do anything to protect him. They had tried. He left because they had tried, and in doing so got hurt.

xXxXXxXXxXXxXx

Rukia sat with a map of the Seireitei stretched out on the table before her, it was something of lunch break right now, although she wasn't that hungry. One at a time she marked off the sections which had already dealt with an attack. Now that the Thirteenth Division had been hit, only the Tenth Division and the Fifth Division had yet to be attacked. _The Ghost... it... he... Ichigo only appears where there aren't any cameras. _Rukia reminded herself, she felt her hand shake, but she focused herself into a calm. She was going to have to be level-headed if she was going to get him back.

She pulled out a map she had managed to get from the Vice-Captain's office, it was a second map of the Seireitei, but this one showed the current level of camera coverage in each area. With this information she was able to vastly reduce possible locations for the next attack. Surely, there were already detailed plans laid out as to patrolling these areas. But it wasn't about there even being someone else there, if she were the only one when he made his appearance, she had faith that she could stop him.

It wasn't like she was happy about all of this or anything, but it seemed to have given her a new sense of purpose.

"Alright," She breathed, looking at the small blobs which defined her areas. In one night she could probably go through all the blobs in one Division. It was a toss up as to which one would be hit next, but she decided she'd have the best chance of finding him if she switched up each night. Tonight she would go to the 10th Division, tomorrow the 5th, then back to the 10th, and so on.

With a decent plan now formulated, she rolled up each of the maps and tucked them into the top of her shihakushou until she was able to go back to the barracks. _Ichigo, it's going to be alright, _she mentally reassured him. _I'm going to pull you back from this, I'm going to stop you. You're going to be alright... _

xXxXXxXXxXXxXx

_"Oh, stop punishing yourself, Ou-chan! It's pathetic." _The hollow grumbled.

Ichigo was gnawing on a piece of bread. "With Ukitake, you mean."

_"Yes, with Ukitake."_

"He was really kind and helpful to me, back when we met." Ichigo set the bread down on his plate and brushed the crumbs off the maps he was studying. He was being sent on another terrorizing mission in the Seireitei. It had been a couple of days since he hit the 13th Division, and apparently it was time to start going at it again. Typically he would be given a mark, but if there was no one in that area he was let off for the night. But now that there were only choice places without cameras left, and two Divisions they hadn't hit, he had five locations to check before his work was done. He had to memorize the perimeter of each mark, so he didn't stray into the camera zones.

_"Allowing him to yell at you doesn't make the betrayal feel any better."_

"I feel he deserves a chance to at least speak his mind, it's likely that he will die in this place."

There was a light tapping on the door as it swung open, he knew by the sound that it was Aizen. "Are you in here talking to yourself again?"

The boy's eyes shimmered yellow as he turned to look at the man. _"What does it matter to you?"_

"I suppose it really doesn't." He smiled amussedly.

"Anyhow, I'm still eating." Ichigo supplied, snatching the bread back up. "You know I don't like to be bothered."

"Yes, but it's not like you're going to do anything about it if I don't want to wait." The threat was well vieled, but still there.

"I suppose not, but I reserve my right to be grumpy anyhow."

"Fair enough. Now how are you doing with the plans?" Aizen asked, daring to approach his small table.

"Nearly done. I can be ready in half and hour."

"Good," For a moment he placed his hand on Ichigo's shoulder, a moment which sent shivers through Ichigo's body. But his exterior remained seamless.

"I'll be down as soon as I'm ready."

Aizen wandered back over to the door. "I'll let you finish your meal in peace then."

xXxXXxXXxXXxXx

Karin rifled through the desk drawer. She wasn't seeing it anywhere, but she was double checking everywhere because she didn't want to open the closet door (the one place she hadn't looked yet). She really didn't like the closet, but she was going to have to try in there if she didn't see it soon.

"Karin, dear, what are you doing?" Masaki asked from the doorway.

"I'm looking for this notebook Ichi-nii used to carry around everywhere... I thought it might be in here." Karin replied.

Masaki couldn't conceal the surprise on her face. "Why are you looking for something like that?"

"I don't really know. I guess, I just felt like I might be able to learn something new about him."

Yes, she would learn something new, not things that Masaki felt would be beneficial for her to know. "Well, you need to stop going through your brother's things, he wouldn't appreciatte it. Besides, that notebook you're looking for is something he would've taken with him."

"Alright," Karin replied. She wanted to say, 'Why would it bother him, it's not really like this stuff is his anymore'. But that would be too harsh, too rude. Their mother acted like he was just going to decide to come home someday. Did she not notice, when he was here, the way Ichigo's eyes would glaze over whenever coming home was mentioned? When could he feel alright about coming home? Maybe not until all the hollows and the bad guys were taken care of... but was that even possible? No, no... Ichigo wasn't coming home, this stuff wasn't his anymore. It was just junk that had his name tacked on to it, which seemed to make it impossible for their parents to even touch.

xXxXXxXXxXXxXx

Rukia ran along the path, hood pulled tightly over her head to conceal her identity from the cameras. She had managed to sneak out of the barracks unseen and was now on route to the 10th Division. Her heart raced, the situation felt more dire since she had learned that her Captain was missing. If it had been Ichigo, she prayed in that demonic form he would somehow still have kept Ukitake alive. Perhaps she could rescue both of them.

"Ichigo," She whispered, prayed, as her feet pounded across the stone. Even for being nighttime, it was very quiet. Usually there would be gaurds, patrolling squadrons. There still were some on the main roads, which she dodged around. But most of the shinigami were to stay in at night for their own safety. But then that meant there would be seated officers patrolling the small roads, looking for a chance to kill the monster that had been terrorizing the Soul Society.

How awful for him, if... _when _she was able to bring him back to being himself again he would be absolutely horrified with what he'd done.

_It could completely break him, _She thought. If he wasn't broken already, which he very well might be if he had fallen into that hollow. Would she tell him what he'd done, if he didn't remember? Would she be able to put him back together? Then what was she supposed to do with him? Of course she would do everything she could to not let the Gotei 13 know it had been him, but even so they'd already been after him. Where was he supposed to go? Was there really any place of refuge she could offer him?

Rukia pushed the worried thoughts away as she crossed the 10th Division's border, asserting to herself that she would just have to take things as they came, and everything would work out somehow. She would make sure of it.

xXxXXxXXxXXxXx

Ichigo stepped out into the cold night air, his clawed feet scratching into the stone tiles. He inhaled deeply, feeling his ribcage expand to it fullest potential. He liked the air here, so full of reishi.

But he had a job to do, a deplorable job. So he made his way about the maze like paths, looking for some sign of life. He stopped along the mental borders he had set up from studying the maps, which told him there would be cameras around the corner. After he'd searched all through this patch of back streets and found noone, he slid his hand through the air and pulled open the Garganta.

The air of the room felt compairably stuffy.

_"The streets there are all empty," _Ichigo reported.

"Opening to second mark," One of Aizen's servant arrancars replied, and got to work opening another Garganta.

Ichigo glanced over to where Aizen was watching quietly, Ulquiorra standing even more expressionless beside him. Without any exchange of words, he stepped through the black, gapping opening, back into the wonderous night air of the Soul Society.

He could hear muffled voices this time, and followed them around the next corner. His hand fingered Zangetsu's handle before drawing it forward. He took a couple more deep breaths, even his breath seemed to reverberate with the mask on. Then he turned the second corner.

There was a group of four shinigami there, sitting around a small latern, a card game laid out before them and a bottle of sake being passed around. They had probably been assigned to patrol one of the main roads, and decided to sneak off and have some fun instead. It was too bad, surely they had been warned against something so stupid.

_Four, there's four of them, _Ichigo counted from the dark. He took another deep breath, he tried to keep himself as calm as possible, because in this form if he started to get worked up his mind would start trying to snap into that ruthlessly violent mode where the killing actually seemed enjoyable, necessary. Ready, he approached them.

The shinigami were roaring with laughter at some stupid joke, then one's eyes caught on Ichigo. His jaw dropped in a frozen terror.

"Th-the... l-l-look!" He finally managed, and the others turned as well. But by then, it was too late, in the moment the closest was already dispatched and casted to the side. The shinigami scrambled to their feet, grabbing for the zanpakutous. The second was down before they had their swords drawn.

"S-stay back! Monster!" One cried, pointing his shaking sword at Ichigo's chest.

Ichigo reached out and broke the blade off with his clawed hand. Then in the next second, that man was on the ground as well, bleeding out.

He could hear approaching foot steps. He plunged Zangetsu's blade into the final shinigami, and yanked out the blade as the new arrival came into view down the street. In the darkness the character was indistinguishable.

The familiar scent of irises seemed to waft at him, and his heart almost stopped - Rukia.

Ichigo quickly smashed the lantern with his foot, hoping he'd reacted quickly enough that she had not been able to define him, and then he turned and ran. His heart thumped in his ears as he twisted through the patch of back streets. He flung himself around the corner and pressed his back to the wall there, he couldn't go any further without getting in the range of a set of cameras. He tried to hold his breath so he could hear her footsteps, praying that he had managed to lose her.

"Ichigo?" He could hear her ask as her foot steps slowed to a stop.

Ichigo clenched his eyes shut. She already knew it was him. These were not ideal circumstances for their reunion, he had hoped they would see each other once Aizen was dead, once this was all over.

"Ichigo... please... it's me." She called.

"Be easy for me, this time." He requested in a whisper as he tried to seperate himself from the hollow power. His claws burrowed into the wall behind him, but the transition to normalcy seemed smoother than it had been the last few times. Perhaps his desperation helped.

As he regained his humanoid stature, he left the wall and stepped out infront of her. "You found me."

Those large, purple eyes widened with surprise. She had thought she'd lost him.

"Ichigo!" She collided into him with such force that he toppled backwards onto his buttocks.

Arms wrapped around him, touching him, she could feel the danger pulsating in his reiatsu, her mind snapped back into a place where she could think clearly. She slapped him hard across the face and scurried back onto the tile. He seemed less surprised by this gesture, than he had been by the hug.

"I thought that you'd lost yourself, but... but it's you!" She screeched. "You're doing this!"

"It was me." He nodded with a sad sort of smile, he could see the horror on her face. "Is that disappointing for you?"

"You're killing... killing so many." She gapped at him._ It hurts... _Rukia blinked, her hand unconsciously gripped at the front of her shihakushou.

He pushed himself upright and watched her struggle with the sight of him. It was a bitter reunion, she had missed him so terribly but now she didn't feel like she could face him anymore.

"What is the purpose of this?!" She screamed. "Why are you doing this?!"

"You have to trust me," Ichigo stated. Not a single emotion wavered in his eyes, but he eminated a sense of strength. He offer his hand to her.

She stared at his hand, her heart raced. _This is Ichigo, _the thought kept repeating in her head. Ichigo had never been a selfish person, even if she could not dream of understanding why he was doing this awful thing, somehow he had to have their best interests at heart - this was Ichigo, after all. She was reluctant, but she took his hand. She could feel the flux of his reiatsu, it washed up on her like icey water as it began to ebb through her, to pull her. She had done this before, but this time his reiatsu felt so rough and threatening, for a moment she thought she was going to drown in it. Then she was through.

The blue buildings stretched before them, shadowed by the thick black clouds ahead. Rukia remained cautious, eyeing the distance that now stretched between them. They were on the same building, but about fifteen feet apart. He seemed to hold himself differently here, his barrier wasn't so well held and she could almost watch the flurry of emotions swirling through his eyes.

"Here we are," He breathed deeply, as though the air outside this place had been thin.

Rukia found herself grasping at her right shouldr as the lightning barreled across the sky above them, it crackled with loud, resounding snaps.

"The lightning wont strike you or anything," He offered.

She felt greatly perturbed by him, he felt so different than from when she had known him, and she watched for some subtle sign that this was the same person.

"I'm going to kill him, kill Aizen." He stated then, glancing over to her with want of understanding.

"I don't understand," She muttered, her mind felt dull, like it somehow should make sense, but it didn't. "Aizen is dead, you already killed him."

His eyes strayed from hers. "I had tried to tell you, he's not dead, he faked me out during our battle. He tricked everyone, and now he's off the Gotei 13's raidar because of it. But he's not dead. I know it doesn't make a lot of sense, Rukia, but that is what this is all for. It's all to kill Aizen."

Rukia stumbled back as though the further shock and confusion had socked her in the stomach. Her foot caught an abnormalty in the smooth surface of the building, and she feel backwards. It was in moving to get back up that she noticed what had tripped her, a deeply gauged line. There wasn't just that one, but many along side it, and even more stretching back behind her. It seemed almost a tally of some sort.

"One-hundred-fifty-nine." Ichigo stated, his eyes dared to glance back over to her for a moment - wanting her reaction. "How many I've killed for Aizen."

She couldn't turn to look back over to him, she felt her body shudder, her mind grasping desperately for comprehension. _You fucking murderer, disgusting, dangerous. Betrayed, I've been betrayed... _Her thoughts spat, but her emotions refused to agree. This was Ichigo for crying out loud! The innocent little boy she used to thomp on the head for calling her 'Ms. Kuchiki', who used to tail her like a puppy-dog.

"So then, is one of these... for Ukitake-taichou?" She asked emptily, wanting to feel the anger her mind kept insisting was proper.

"He's not dead." Ichigo replied, he bent over to trace his finger down one of the gauged lines. "Aizen has him locked up in Las Noches. They've been torturing him to find the location of the Hougyoku."

"Why? ...Why Ukitake?" She gulped.

"Because Aizen figured that you would've trusted him enough to tell him, or that he might've even helped you to hide it."

Her hands clenched into trembling fists against the blue brick of the building. Her mouth was dry. "How come you make it sound like you work for Aizen?"

"I've been living in Las Noches." His reply hung in the air, almost seeming to chill it.

Ichigo sank to his knees, his head drooped defeatedly. He could almost feel her trying not to hate him, she'd seen the damage he'd caused, the lives he'd taken. "I have to kill him, it's my responsibility, I have to kill Aizen, no matter what it takes. I know that you're scared of me, and I understand. You remember the notebook I'm sure, you remember that we had exsisted on a different timeline, one where even after a full scale war I still couldn't defeat him - couldn't protect you from him. Thousands died. This time I have to take care of it before it gets that bad, before it gets out of hand. It is really awful, but these marks, the people I've killed, as long as it doesn't reach the height it did last time... Even if it's by my hand... Isn't it better this way? If a couple hundred die, instead of a couple thousand."

"Dead is dead, Ichigo!" She cried, without really even thinking about what she was saying. This was the man she had confessed her love to, she had kissed. She still loved him, still yearned for him, she'd wanted to save him - but he didn't need to be saved and that terrified her. "Whatever your intent is, murder is still murder."

"I know," He replied softly, sadly.

"Then why?" She finally turned back around to face him, eyes brimming with tears. "If you really understand that, then how could you?!"

"I have to get close to him. I have to get close enough to kill him, and I can't unless I do what he asks me to. He has to believe that I'm willing to obey him. He's protecting my family. Since the Gotei 13 drove me out, he believes I'm doing this because its the only thing left I can do to be sure they're safe."

"You could have trained, you could have become stronger, until you could defeat him." She stated. Yes, her mind agreed, that was something Ichigo would do. So then why hadn't he gone that direction?

"I didn't want to do this. This plan, it wasn't something that I conjured up. You know that I've never been very good with strategies and such. I would have done a million other stupid, and maybe not so stupid, things. But I never would have decided on this by myself. I would have rathered died, I was going to just turn myself in. It was Kami-sama who told me this was the only way I could defeat him."

"Kami-sama?" Rukia replied, dumbly. What a strange excuse, but she wanted to believe it. He had to be telling the truth, right? How could Ichigo possibly have concieved of such a contrieved plot on his own? She believed that Ichigo, as she knew him, would have simply thrown himself at Aizen and given it everything he got a long time ago. Even if he believed the battle to be hopeless. She had watched him before. Yes, that's how he was... is? Still, maybe? It was hard to say, but her logic, her love, pushed hard against the anger.

"I... I believe you." She whispered.

xXxXXxXXxXx

_"You have to stay close to that man."_

_"Kami-sama." Ichigo looked up, removing the hands he'd had pressed miserably to his face since Aizen had finally left him alone. The man stood there in his white attire, but Ichigo didn't gain the same hope he had last time he'd seen God. "I can't. I'm not going to join Aizen, like he wants me too. He's only interested in me as a specimen anyway, it's not like I hold any importance for him."_

_"You have to," God replied. "I know that's a lot to put on your shoulders, but at the same time it is your responsibility to kill that man, not to turn yourself in, and not to go on some suicide rampage in the Soul Society."_

_"I could just run away, I could go back to the Vaizards, they'd welcome me back." Ichigo attempted, trying to find a decent solution now that he was being told this was the only way. _

_"You cannot allow him to surprise you again, if you can keep your eye on him then eventually you will find your opportunity to kill him."_

_Ichigo shook his head. "There has to be another way."_

_Kami looked up at the clouded sky. "Do you not agree that it's your responsibility to defeat him?"_

_There was long silence as Ichigo glowered at his feet, he was scared and trying very hard not to be. "You're right... You're right... I know that I have a responsibility to take care of this, but surely there is another way?! I don't want to fight for Aizen. I don't want to have to look at him every freakin' day, wondering when I'll be able to finally stab my sword into him and know that he really is bleeding. All the while doing his dirty work, playing his games!"_

_"He will keep his promise to protect your family," Kami replied. "How do you plan on doing that anymore? How can you protect them and keep yourself hidden from the Soul Society at the same time?"_

_"I don't know!" He cried."I'll figure something out!"_

_"What if you mess up, what if someone gets hurt again?"_

_Ichigo emitted a growl that was deep, angry, and hollow. "Why?! Why the hell haven't you said anything all this time... before it got this bad? When I saw you the other day, when I was fighting him, why the hell didn't you tell me he was going to fake me out?! Why couldn't you have given me some sort of solution. Things didn't have to become this bad, they didn't have to get to this point!"_

_"There was no solution. You couldn't have killed him then, and you can't kill him now." Kami replied. "This is how you will kill him, you have to get his sword away from him before he can grab for it. Only then can you kill him for sure. It's not about being stronger, as long as he can affect your mind, victory is hopeless."_

_He felt so angry, so betrayed. There had to have been some other way, this couldn't have been the plan all along. "I don't get it... I just don't get it...that goes against everything I have worked for, the He had worked for...Please, there has to be something else... please don't demand this of me, I can't do it."_

_"You got to live again, not only you, but Rukia, your mother, your family, your friends, everyone got a second chance at life for this. If you can not kill him, he's just going to take that away, and there will have not been any purpose to it. This is the only way you can protect that. You want everyone to be able to continue on living, don't you?" Kami asked. "I know you, Kurosaki Ichigo, I know that you would rather be the one to make the sacrifice. I know that you will do it, even if you hate me for it, even if you hate yourself."_

_"...you're right." Ichigo finally said, his voice was dark. "Can you promise me this is the only way? Can you promise me that my family and my friends, that Rukia is going to be alright?"_

_"Yes," Was his reply._

xXxXXxXXxXXxXx

_"Ou-chan," _ It was questioning. Rukia turned to the white figure who seemed to have appeared out of nowhere, the replica of Ichigo that represented the hollow powers. Its form seemed strangely unstable this time, flickering in and out of exsistence, sometimes nothing more than an after image.

She noticed how Ichigo didn't turn to look at his counterpart, but focused his gaze ahead. "She cornered me."

_"You've never been able to stand the idea of her hating you," _The hollow replied.

"I was trying to explain everything to her, trying to get her to understand." Ichigo said, he rose to his feet and now allowed his eyes to linger over to the flickering form.

_"Then she needs to know about your situation, if you're confiding in her, allowing her to help you, then she needs to know everything."_

Rukia watched Ichigo's face scrunch up, the same way it used to when he was faced with something emotionally difficult. "What is he talking about, Ichigo?"

"I've become unstable, I guess is the best way to put it. I've been using that hollow form more and more, and everytime it gets harder to come back from it."

Rukia shot an accusing look at the hollow, who raised his hands defensively.

"It's not something he's doing, Rukia," Ichigo asserted. "It's my own fault for using that power so often."

_"Everytime he takes that form, he's subconsciously telling himself that there is no need for us to be seperate." _Shiro explained, then he shifted over to Ichigo._ "I am just you, after all. You keep me sectioned off, as you reject the part of you that is hollow. The more you use that power, the more you accept me as a part of you."_

"The more I take that form, the more difficult it gets to bury the power back inside me. The more I use it, the more Shiro-kun degrades, the more we become joined... or become whole."

"So... what happens when you can't come back from it, when the hollow is integrated?" Rukia asked, clutching at her hakama as though they'd offer her security.

"I'm not completely sure, I don't think that I'll just become a mindless beast, because for the most part I can hold that form while maintaining consciousness. But as I tried to explain to you after the first time, all this anger and violence becomes more natural. My main concern is that if I cannot take care of things before that point, my hatred for that man, for Aizen, might overwhelm me. It's already so hard..." Ichigo's eyes whelmed with this menacing sort of rage.

_**"I want to watch the light fade from his eyes," **_Ichigo growled, but it was not just Ichigo, the voice came from the hollow too. Even the thunder crackled with them.

Rukia shuddered from the intensity of it.

Of course the stated sentiment was much more mild compared to the thoughts that had begun streaming through his head. The air of the inner world wavered and the disconnection almost seemed like a physical snap.

"Forgive me," Ichigo rubbed at his face tiredly.

"But Ichigo... Haven't you placed yourself in a dangerous situation, if you're unstable, like you say you are. Then what if you can't... can't become yourself again and Aizen has you?" She squeaked.

"It's sort of a double-edge sword," He replied, eyes turning up to the dark sky. "Aizen knows that I struggle with it, and he wants me to reach the point where I am permanently in that space. I don't know if it just intrigues him, or if he thinks I'll be easier to control. But at the same time he knows that I don't have very many choices left, and that protecting my family is more important than anything. He is not going to ever trust me, not really. But he knows that I'll do whatever it takes to protect my family. The more he watches me risk my stability, the more it assures him that I am willing to do whatever is needed to be sure he'll keep his promise. All I need is a moment where that trust blinds him. A moment where he wont doubt me, where I can take him by surprise."

Rukia was still shaking from the torrent of emotion, but she was certain now that on some level this was still her Ichigo. If he had changed it had been from the horror and the responsibility of this task placed unto him. She felt so... so sympathetic. So sorry for him. She had since the Gotei 13 had attacked him, and chased him away to some unknown hiding spot, but it was with renewed vigor. They had just begun to really open up in their relationship too, had really only begun to have a relationship, before he was ripped away.

"It's okay," She found herself saying. She approached him with all the warmth she could muster, even with the deep sadness she was feeling. "It's alright, I trust you."

For a moment his eyes flashed, like a spark of exhilaration, and she remembered the boy who had greeted her three years ago after her long absence; the boy who so deeply seemed to _need_ her. It made her want to cry all over again, but instead she tried to smile.

"I'm on your side, Ichigo, okay? I'll do what I can to see this through." She pressed her lips to his, raising up on the very tips of her toes. The very air seemed to grow warm around her. Then they feel apart, as her feet grew too tired to keep her up.

He smiled affectionately down at her, his hand stroked against her head, brushing some loose strands behind her ear.

"Thank you, Rukia." He planted a kiss on her forehead.

"I'll do anything I can to help," She whispered, unsure why she kept her voice so low.

"I hate to ask this of you, but I need the location of the Hougyoku."

xXxXXxXXxXx

"Did you find it?" Tatsuki asked.

Karin shook her head, the two girls were standing outside of Karin's school. "I tried, but Mama wasn't very happy about it. I'm not sure if it was the looking for the notebook or going through his things that really bothered her. She was definitely surprised when I mentioned it though."

"I wouldn't be surprised if she knew what was in it." Tatsuki stated.

"Do you know anything else that could give me some answers? Heck, I don't really even know what sort of questions to ask. I just want to know about him, I want to try to understand him." Karin sighed.

"He took me to this strange place once. I haven't been there by myself, but maybe the people there would know something. It seemed to me that they understood what was going on with him. Come on, it's not far, let's check it out."

Karin more than readily agreed, she had felt better after their conversation the other day than she had in a long time. She was eagar for more of the feeling of alleviation and to learn more about her brother. The two girls wondered around a bit, as it took Tatsuki a little while to remember how to get there, but finally they found themselves before the little candy shop.

"How can they expect to get any customers?" Karin laughed.

"I'm sure it's just a front for some shinigami something." Tatsuki replied. She approached the door cautiously and knocked four times.

A litte girl with long black bangs peaked her head out. "Oh, hello? Can I help you?"

"We want to talk to the man with the striped hat." Tatsuki stated firmly, hands moving to her hips. "About Ichigo."

"I'll ask, but he has some other visitors right now..." The door slid back shut.

The two girls traded looks of intrigue.

"Do you remember when your brother fought that big battle, and he came back all injured." Tatsuki asked carefully.

"Of course," Karin answered, eyes dropping.

"He left the next day, and came home as good as new... that's when he took me to this place." She briefly wondered if she should mention Orihime, but decided better of it. If Orihime wanted more people to know about her healing powers, she could tell them herself. "That man that we're going to see, Ichigo told me that he is also a shinigami."

Finally the door slid all the way open, the same little girl was standing there. "Hello again, you may come back with me if you would like."

Tatsuki and Karin followed her through the candy-shop front and into one of the back rooms. There was the man, Tatsuki recognized, with the very green attire and the stripped hat. But also two other strange characters who stood across the small tatami room from him. One was a short, blonde girl with pig-tails and a red jumpsuit. The man beside her also had blonde hair in a strange, almost bowl-cut type style.

Urahara was surprised to see his new set of guests. He tapped his fan into the palm of his other hand. "Well, isn't this a surprise, your timing is eerily impecable. I never thought I'd see you lovely ladies wandering into my lowly shop. It has been a long time since I've seen either of you."

"Arisawa Tatsuki," She nodded her head to the other guests.

"I remember," Urahara smiled. "And this is Karin-chan... Kurosaki Karin."

Karin also offered a nodded bow.

"Kurosaki..." The blonde girl muttered with puzzlement. And then realization. "You're Ichigo's sister."

"Indeed she is," Urahara inserted, then shifted over to the girls. "Your father told me about your brother's visit the other day, it's part of why these ones are here, they've been trying to find him."

How strange, Karin felt, what sort of connection would these people have to her brother. Were they shinigamis too? She could almost feel the expanse of this world that her brother lived in, filled with its own vast complexeties. She wanted to know all of it - she wanted to understand.

The door to the tatami room slid open again, and a tall, burly man with glasses entered. He had a tray stacked with a teapot and cups.

"Oh good," Urahara clapped his hands together with a pleased smile. "The tea is ready."

xXXxXXxXXxXXx

Ichigo smiled slightly. His hand lightly graced his lips, remembering the kiss. The feeling from that moment, it was so wonderful. A light in the darkness. Then a rugged, pained scream echoed through the corridor and tore him away from the memory.

He continued on, obtaining more of a blank expression, as he attempted to vacate from his emotions. That, of course, never worked for very long. He couldn't just not feel. If he ignored all else, sooner or later the anger would claim him.

Ichigo lingered by the doorway the scream had originatd from, keeping his face unreadable as he listened to the Captain's wailing screams. Even so, he didn't dare to enter, he'd seen enough of the torture already. _Come on, Ukitake, just give him a location, _He willed.

After what seemed a long, arderous struggle, the screaming faltered, and died.

"Clean him up and take him back to his cell." Aizen's voice echoed through the now silent room before he emerged into the hall. He grinned at Ichigo. "Enjoying the show?"

Ichigo ignored the question. "Did you get a location?"

"Here, it's in the Rukongai, he says." Aizen passed him a folded piece of paper that had more specific instructions.

"It's probably just more false directions." He muttered, but slipped the paper into the top of his shihakushou even so. As much as he admired Ukitake's strength of will to keep this up, he'd been sending him on frenzied searches almost every night for the past week.

"Perhaps, even so, you will go there tonight and see. He will give us the right location eventually, or he'll die in that room." Aizen replied.

"Alright." Ichigo stated. With that he took his leave, back to the more comfortable confines of his room. Once he looked around to be sure he was alone, he slowly shredded the paper Aizen had handed him into the trash can. He didn't need to deal with anymore of Ukitake's misdirections now that he knew the location of the Hougyoku. Tonight he would be able to retrieve it.

He silently thanked Rukia.

Surely if he was doing something terribly wrong with all this, Kami-sama would say something. So he had to assume for now that he was only doing what was expected.

xXxXXxXXxXx

Now that everyone was sitting comfortably around the perimeter of the room, a cup of tea in hand, Tatsuki decided it was time to step in.

"So then, what is going on? We don't really understand all this, so please start at the beginning and go slow." She requested.

"These two came to me a couple of months ago, asking for my help locating Ichigo. The device he uses to hide his reiatsu is one that I created, so I created a machine... a computer, if you will, that can detect that device. For the past two months it has been logging his activity. The read-out indicates that he appears in Karakura maybe once, twice a week for a couple hours at a time."

"That regularly?" Shinji asked.

"Yes, and I feel it's safe to assume that when he leaves he's not going to the Soul Society. So I am fairly certain, at this point, that he's been residing in Hueco Mundo." He replied.

This seemed to set heavily in the room.

"Then we need to go there, pull his head out of the sand, and knock some sense into him!" Hiyori proclaimed.

"I don't really... follow." Karin admitted. "What are these places you're talking about?"

"The Soul Society, simply put, is where the shinigami live. Hueco Mundo is where all the hollows live." Urahara offered.

"So then, if he's a shinigami why wouldn't he be in the Soul Society?" She asked, and when she asked she knew she wasn't going to like the answer.

"Because they want him dead!" Hiyori cried. "All the freakin' shinigami want his head, even after he killed Aizen and everything."

"Hiyori," Shinji sighed.

"What? She wanted to know what the truth was, didn't she? That's why your brother disappeared. He dared to stand up against the man who threatened everything, the shinigami's worst enemy, and once he won they decided he was the next biggest threat."

"It was the other shinigami that attacked him?" Tatsuki asked, she wasn't too surprised to hear this, she only knew of a handful of shinigami. Aizen had been very bad, and Ichigo said that he was a shinigami. So it would seem that shinigami were neither good nor bad. Like humans, they acted on their own fears and desires, made their own choices. "Why do they feel like he's a threat? Are they afraid if he could take down Aizen, he could take them down too?"

"Something like that," Urahara agreed.

"I don't get it," Hiyori stomped her feet frustratedly at the tatami floor. "Why didn't he just come home? He would have been safe!"

"Home?" Karin asked, surprisedly. What this girl referred to as home, was surely not the Kurosaki's home.

"Yes, _home_. The place where he's understood and not judged for being what he is, the place he belongs." She blurted angrily. Hiyori felt so frustrated that Ichigo would go live in Hueco Mundo (where he would have to constantly fight to survive) before he came back to them. There had to be something more, she knew it in her guts. It wasn't like it would endanger the Vaizard any, they were hiding from the Soul Society themselves! So there had to be something more going on.

"Calm down, Hiyori, you don't need to yell at the poor girl." Shinji coaxed, though he wore an annoyed frown. "Nobody is happy about what happened. We will find him, and we'll talk some sense into him."

Shinji placed his empty cup back on the tray and stood up. "We're going to head back and talk to the others. Thanks again for your assistance, Kisuke."

"Feel free to drop by more often." Urahara waved them out with his fan.

Karin had her lips pursued tight. So apparently he had some sort of second family, or something. At least people who seemed to consider him family. She sipped her hot tea, while trying to put her thoughts together.

"Those people..." Tatsuki began.

"Oh, they like to keep to themselves most of the time. But they're very protective of each other, and they consider Ichigo to be one of them. If they can, they'll find him." Urahara flicked his fan open infront of him. "Now, I don't mean to be rude, but I think this is enough for today. You two should head on home."

The girls returned their cups to the tray.

As Karin rose to her feet, she remembered why they had come in the first place. She felt like she had a lot of new information now, but she hadn't fully processed everything. Maybe that notebook would help her sort things out.

"The notebook Ichigo used to carry, do you know about it? Do you know where it might be?" Karin implored.

"He told me that he'd destroyed the original." Urahara tipped his hat to further shade his expression. "But I did, at one point, make a copy of it without his permission."

"Can I borrow it, please? May I?" Karin begged.

He hesistated at first, thinking of what Isshin might say if he found out. But then he caved and left to locate the notebook. He returned a few minutes later, with a black notebook in hand. He passed it over to Karin. Then, with a very serious look, he said. "I believe those who actively pursue answers have the right to find them."

Karin could only nod her head to this, pressing the black, spiral-bond notebook to her chest.

xXxXXxXXxXXxXXxXx

Ichigo thrashed around the room, his body in its fully hollowfied state.

He roared in a monsterous howl, thrashing, he slammed his body into the wall. Ichigo gripped at the wall, panting harshly. Then anger and malice overwhelmed him and he screeched again, he dug his claws into the wall to keep himself there as he fought to surface from monsterous, dark thoughts. It didn't want to let go. Or rather, it was more like he couldn't quite define himself amonst the beast's mind, and the harder he fought to shove that power back into his core, the more he pushed himself away at the same time. Every time he sunk, he was the monster solely for the seconds or the minutes until he could find himself again, realize he exsisted, and that he had to return to being a shinigami.

Finally he seemed to grasp the line of seperation and he forced the dark power down, down into his soul.

Ichigo was half-slumped exhaustedly against the wall. It was painful in a strange sort of way. The power wouldn't just sink back into him anymore, to make the seperation it felt more like he was tearing off a part of himself.

Aizen stood in the door way, Ichigo had been somehow vaguely aware of his presence the whole time. Ichigo managed to glance over to him now, his body fading into its human form.

"It gets more difficult everytime you take that form," Aizen stated, he seemed a little amussed by it.

"_Leave me alone_," Ichigo growled at the man, there was still a hollow reverberation in his voice.

"You're going to be in trouble if you keep this up," He continued.

Ichigo mustered up what he could of composure. _"I've done everything you've asked of me..._ and I expect you to maintain your promise regardless of what happens to me."

"Of course," Aizen replied. "And what of the mission?"

Ichigo pulled the Hougyoku, which was encased inside a barrier of a slightly larger size, out of the top of his shihakushou. Aizen couldn't help but grin as he snatched up the orb. He inspected it carefully, but he already knew in his guts - this was it.

"You really found it," He marveled. "And what's more, you brought it back to me."

Ichigo wipped at the sweat streaking dow his forehead. "Yes, I don't have to repeat myself again, do I? I am here for just one reason."

"For your family, so you'd even give up the very world for them."

Ichigo stumbled over to the bed, muscles sore from the transformation process. "You got what you want, now get out of here. I'm not in the mood for this stupid, pointless conversation. And I don't need you gawking at me either!"

Aizen turned the orb over in his palm and nodded. How amussing and how fun for him that he was able to get the boy to do something so completely contrary to what he'd always fought for. It made him feel so powerful, so unstoppable! But for now it was probably best to listen, he didn't want to push the boy too much less he break him completely. So Aizen left Ichigo alone, grinning again as he held the Hougyoku out with admiration.

xXxXXxXXxXXxXx

In the middle of the night Ichigo woke up trashing, covers tangled around his feet. He was drenched in a cold sweat, trembling. He felt tears on his cheeks, which he quickly scrubbed away in detest. He felt afraid, so afraid and so small. For a moment he felt like a small child again, trapped in this horrible place. He felt fear and frustration that had mounted, unprocessed, inside of him since Kami-sama had demanded this ludicrous deed from him.

He wanted suddenly for his mother's embrace, but it hurt all the more knowing it was very possible that he would never feel her touch again.

The room was empty, he was alone. Hands gripped at the sheets. He was always alone.

_"It was just a nightmare," _ Shiro's voice rang between his ears, somehow annoyed yet coaxing at the same time.

Maybe not completely alone, not yet.

"Shiro-kun." Ichigo gasped, his breathing felt labored even though he'd just been sleeping. He could feel his counterpart as a fading, dim flicker.

The fact lay unspoken between the two of them, though they both understood very well; one more time. Just once more is all it would take, once more and Ichigo might not be able to seperate from the hollow again. Even now, he knew, he was already integrated with much of what Shiro had once represented.

He felt tears try to whelm up, stinging at his eyes. He blinked them away, and he had to draw up those harsher emotions, the hate and the anger, to cover up and push away the fear so that he didn't feel so vulnerable.

"S-Shiro-kun... Please, don't leave me alone, I can't do this by myself." Ichigo stammered. Again he had to will away the fear and the loneliness. What was he going to do when there wasn't that voice in his head to calm him anymore? When he had to put up with all of this crap, face the results of his choices, all alone? These past three years, the hollow had been his best friend, his only friend. They were in this together, thick or thin, and now he was going to be alone. The thought frightened him more than having to fight Aizen (though, that's not a fair comparison, because at this point he wanted nothing more than to wring that man's neck).

Ichigo blinked, hands bracing against the sweat soaked sheets. He sank back, something that had become more than natural, and found himself standing on the side of the skyscaper with the fading image of the only friend he had here.

The hollow approached him, flickering white hands gently raised up his tear-streaked face. "You already are alone, Ou-chan, I am you."

Lightening broke against the sky continiously, trying to stifle the rain that wanted to fall. The King was trying to overwhelm his grief with anger. It had been this way most of these past three years, but the world shook, deeply desperate now. It seemed like some rain might actually pour tonight, as it had not been allowed to in a long while.

The hollow grinned that devilish grin that seemed to come to him so naturally, and turned for a second to watch the rain break through in the distant and smear the blue of the horizon into a grayish swirl.

_"It feels strange," _Shiro muttered, swiveling to look back at his king's face. They had gone through a lot together, when he had first awakened he could not have dreamed that they would end up forging such a friendship. _"It's strange, Ou-chan... I have always endured your emotions, and their intensity that always seemed so harsh for you. I laughed at it even, at those emotions which were so persuasive... so powerful. It's strange because lately... I can feel them. It's not the same, not disconnected like it always has been."_

"What do you mean?" Ichigo asked.

_"I hate it." _The hollow spat, but he still had the grin plastered on his face. _"I can feel the loneliness too, I can feel the fear too, and I hate it. It hurts. It hurts, but not like any physical wound."_

Ichigo nodded, unable to find his words, only able to mentally agree that, yes, it did hurt. Even Ichigo had spent so much time not allowing himself to feel these things, that the pain was acute. The rain reached them, for a moment breaking through the hinderance of the lightning. The two became soaked as it pounded down on them.

"Our opportunity should be soon, this one last time we're going to have to give it all we've got." Ichigo stated over the drumming of the rain on the buidling around them.

Shiro nodded._ "Even if you can't seperate anymore, even if you lose yourself to the instincts and the anger, I trust that you will give it everything - we will give it everything. Till we breathe our last breath; we will fight until we kill Aizen Sousuke."_

A torrent of wind ripped at the rain, flurreling the soggy sleeves of their shihakushous.

"Yes, we will." Ichigo replied, that was something he could be sure of. By now his task, his goal in life, had to be so prevalent to the very core of his being, that he would seek it even if he was no longer aware of himself.

Ichigo stared down at his feet for a moment, the puddling water soaking into his tabi. Then he looked back up to Shiro with a certain amount of peace. "Things will be fine then."

_"I believe they will," _The hollow agreed, that grin had finally faded to an unamussed sort of expression. His words were firm. _"Somehow, we're going to be fine."_

The rain slowly receded, and the lightning regained its reigning terror over the sky.

"Thank you, Shiro-kun." Ichigo said. He felt deeply eased, even the fretful nightmare was now a distant memory.

_"I know that my exsistence is sort of unnatural, but I've enjoyed it," _The hollow smiled here, but it wasn't a grin, and it held none of the sly sort of look it usually did - which looked rather strange on him. _"You've allowed me to explore the outside world, you've entertained my demands. Even though you're the King, you gave me a chance to be in charge. You fought with me whenever I've asked. It was... it was fun."_

The hollow sighed, flickering harshly for a moment, as though he might just blink out of exsistence at any moment.

_"It's strange, with these feelings... I find myself regretting what my exsistence means for you."_

"Don't ever apologize for exsisting, that's what you told me, Shiro-kun. You can't change what you are, so you've just got to accept it - you've got to own it."

Shiro nodded. _"I remember, I did say that. Yes, that's right..."_

Both turned and watched the rain fading in the distance. _**"We'll be alright."**_

**Chapter End**


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